Lovemaking is a powerful physical connection, but can be even more intense with foreplay.
If you think “sex” refers only to intercourse, it’s time to reconsider what it means to score. The payoff to slowing down: a longer, stronger, more electrifying orgasm.
When you and your man get together, he’s pretty much guaranteed to hit a home run, right? And likely, the sequence of steps involves little more than a few kisses before leaping into intercourse. But by skipping “bases,” you’re not living up to your pleasure potential.
Extending foreplay can rev up your arousal and your likelihood of having an orgasm. “You may discover things about each other’s bodies you didn’t know or learn new ways to please each other,” says therapist and relationship expert Amber Madison, author of Hooking Up: A Girl’s All-Out Guide to Sex and Sexuality. “Plus, it’s bound to make the experience more intimate, and it can remind you of the early days of your relationship when the sparks were flying.” Follow these tips for holding at each base.
Focus on making out. With tongue. A study published in the journal Neuro Endocrinology Letters found that couples are happier and less irritated after kissing, and the warm, face-to-face contact boosts peripheral circulating proteins in the body that improve overall health and well-being. “French kissing offers a deep connection in a small moment of time,” says Kristina Wright, author of Bedded Bliss: A Couple’s Guide to Lust Ever After.
Start by planting a closed-lip kiss on him as you straighten his tie or collar. Gently tug on his bottom lip with your teeth before introducing your tongue. (As a bonus, first smear on a mentholated lip balm or gloss for plumper, more sensitive lips.) Or try what Jessica O’Reilly, Ph.D., a sexologist in Los Angeles and author of The New Sex Bible, calls “lip lining”: Trace your tongue around the curves of his lips, paying extra attention to the thin skin at the corners. “It will give your honey a peek into your sexual skills, too,” she says.
Holding hands on your way to dinner is cute and all, but copping a feel in the car before you walk in? That’s hot. “Touch is important throughout a relationship, not just in the beginning when you’re learning each other’s bodies,” says Wright. Research in the journal Sexual and Relationship Therapy suggests that couples who caress their partner’s body experience an increase in erotic feelings and overall marital satisfaction.
So if you and your man are feeling a little frisky in a secluded corner of a bar, a dark movie theater, or the back of a cab, don’t swat each other’s hands away from exploring underneath your shirt or over his pants. Better still, channel your adolescence by getting off with your clothes still on: Rub up against each other at a concert or on a dance floor. “Just be slower and more deliberate with your motions, so you can avoid that awkward, sometimes painful humping you did as a teenager,” says Madison.