At that point, I came up with a great idea! I asked, “What’s in that oil?!” He picked up the bottle, looked at it, and started reading off the ingredients. Before he could finish, I got up and said, “I think I’m allergic!” and ran to the bathroom. I hopped into the shower, turned it on, and pretended to wash myself. My partner came in with a great amount of concern asking if I was okay. I smiled and said, “I’m not allergic, can you get him to leave though?!” What a trooper my partner is! He told him that I was washing it off and that it was okay, but that he should probably go. So, “Tantra Todd” we’ll call him, called himself an Uber. As we all waited, I pretended to keep showering. I felt bad about the amount of water I was wasting for this silly cause, however I did wash my vagina quite a bit, mostly to get rid of the ick factor, so I guess it was worth it.The guy finally left, thank the Uber Gods, and my partner and I made a vow, then and there, to always meet in public first.

What I should have done was been honest with him and made him leave from the get go, probably some time around when he said, “the Mexicans.” I hate that people, women especially, feel obligated to be “nice” in uncomfortable situations. We so often trade politeness for our own well-being. We should stop doing that. I should stop doing that. Part of making sure something like that can’t happen is to not allow yourself to get into those situations in the first place. I knew full well that this could have been trouble, and I know that I am very lucky it wasn’t a different kind of trouble. To be met with someone who was just offensive and unskilled rather than violent or dangerous is actually one of the better circumstances I could have been caught up in. While I’m not a fan of living in fear, I am a fan of making smart choices. This is a lesson that I only need to learn once. I hope.

The point is that meeting in public doesn’t just help you avoid a murderer or a rapist, it also helps you avoid a liar, racist, and really bad masseuse.