You Have Performance Anxiety

Anxiety you face outside of the bedroom has a way of trickling into it. If you’re too concerned about your performance to enjoy or even want to have sex — an issue that affects people of all gender identities — that’s a great time to seek out a sexpert who can help you develop methods for coping with anxious thoughts.

“There’s a lot of negative self-talk that’s all coming from people’s own heads,” Dr. Kat says. “Getting them to be aware of that is a big step.”

She helps women shift from focusing on how they’re being perceived during sex to the pleasure they’re feeling, so they can really enjoy the moment.

You’re Dealing With Sexual Trauma

If you’re dealing with a past sexual trauma, therapy — both sex therapy and other kinds — can help. Sexual trauma can bring about feelings from shame to a lack of arousal, even when you’re ready to be intimate, and a sex therapist can assist you in sorting through them all.

“Therapy can help someone deal with the sexual trauma in an open way versus repressing it, which can become very negative when coming to intimacy with a partner,” Dr. Kat. “The therapist can help create a safe environment where the client can process through difficult emotions and how they’re hindering them in their everyday lives.”

Cheating Is Involved

Whether it’s physical or emotional, infidelity can definitely take its toll on your sex life (and every other part of life) with your partner. While “occasional jealousy, bouts of attraction to other people, and fantasies of cheating in a relationship can be very common,” Dr. Kat says, “the main thing you want to watch out for is if one of these becomes a pattern” — which can be a sign to seek therapy for either one or both of you.

If one of you has cheated and you both agree that you’d like to commit to the future of the relationship, a therapist’s office is a great neutral ground on which to do some of that work.

“It’s better to discuss feelings [than to ignore them] in order for the couple to have the [opportunity] of working it out,” Dr. Kat adds. “This way, the couple can use [infidelity] as an opportunity for understanding and growth.”

Curated by Erbe
Original Article