How Do I Continue to Not Screw Up this Relationship

Losing Control

On a deeper level, (and not to take away from collaborative grocery shopping experiences, which are very important) being in a relationship means losing control. I don’t know what’s going to happen to us. I can’t control every situation. That loss of sovereignty is terrifying, and why it’s always been easier to dive into something new rather than stay in something that I can’t totally steer and becoming *gasp* vulnerable to this person, another issue of mine that we’ll have to get to during another session thank-you-that’s-all-the-time-we-have-for-today.

Tasting What He Orders

Which brings me to another food metaphor.

On Saturday, my boyfriend and I were eating together, because we’re in a couple and that’s 90% of what you do together besides making passionate love and scrolling through Netflix.

I’ve noticed something about these meal times. Almost as a rule, I want to try his food. It doesn’t matter if it’s a plain salad or contains an ingredient I don’t particularly care for, I want to try it, and he lets me, because he’s a nice guy. But rarely does he want to try mine.

I brought this up.

“Why don’t you ever want to try my food?”

To which he replied, “I’m happy with what I ordered.”

“Oh my God.” I said, as it hit me. “That’s the difference between you and me. You’re satisfied with your choice, and I always want what the other person is having.”

“Your words, not mine.”

Look, I don’t want to insert too much meaning into this, because it’s possible I’m just a glutton (definitely true), but it’s hard not to attach some meaning, because it hits on A) a problem we’re facing in the modern dating landscape, and B) a character flaw of mine not unlike the ‘grass is always greener’ metaphor, another one we’ll have put a pin in because thank-you-that’s-all-the-time-we-have-for-today.

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How Do I Continue to Not Screw Up this Relationship

About The Author
- Carlyn is a writer and director living in Los Angeles. She's directed work that has premiered at SXSW, LA Comedy Shorts, Brooklyn Film Fest, Austin Film Festival and more. Sometimes, companies even hire her to write and direct commercials for them (she likes this very much). Follow Carlyn's shenanigans on Instagram, talk shit with her on Twitter, or check out her work at