Losing Control
On a deeper level, (and not to take away from collaborative grocery shopping experiences, which are very important) being in a relationship means losing control. I don’t know what’s going to happen to us. I can’t control every situation. That loss of sovereignty is terrifying, and why it’s always been easier to dive into something new rather than stay in something that I can’t totally steer and becoming *gasp* vulnerable to this person, another issue of mine that we’ll have to get to during another session thank-you-that’s-all-the-time-we-have-for-today.
Tasting What He Orders
Which brings me to another food metaphor.
On Saturday, my boyfriend and I were eating together, because we’re in a couple and that’s 90% of what you do together besides making passionate love and scrolling through Netflix.
I’ve noticed something about these meal times. Almost as a rule, I want to try his food. It doesn’t matter if it’s a plain salad or contains an ingredient I don’t particularly care for, I want to try it, and he lets me, because he’s a nice guy. But rarely does he want to try mine.
I brought this up.
“Why don’t you ever want to try my food?”
To which he replied, “I’m happy with what I ordered.”
“Oh my God.” I said, as it hit me. “That’s the difference between you and me. You’re satisfied with your choice, and I always want what the other person is having.”
“Your words, not mine.”
Look, I don’t want to insert too much meaning into this, because it’s possible I’m just a glutton (definitely true), but it’s hard not to attach some meaning, because it hits on A) a problem we’re facing in the modern dating landscape, and B) a character flaw of mine not unlike the ‘grass is always greener’ metaphor, another one we’ll have put a pin in because thank-you-that’s-all-the-time-we-have-for-today.
