Once you’ve decided to meet, or if you’re at your meeting spot and sizing each other up, it’s time to find out what their rules are and let them know yours. Personally I have no real limits aside from the basics of safe sex, no potty stuff and no real pain. However some couples have a lot of rules and they’re always different. I used to think some rules were really silly and I questioned them, until I got into an open relationship myself. I realize by being with my current partner that things I thought would bother me don’t and vice versa. I don’t question these feelings, because they are what they are. So I learn what works and what doesn’t along the way and that’s where the rules come from. For example, I get really turned on by watching my guy have sex with other people. This is rare, and yes, I know that. The only thing that ever really bothers me is thinking about him being emotionally attached to someone else. Luckily, he feels the same way and neither of us really has time for a second emotional relationship, so this works out great for us! Some couples don’t kiss anyone but each other, leaving everything else up for grabs. I call this the “Pretty Woman” couple. Others insist that they only hook up with someone else if both members of the couple are present, even if they’re not included in the action. Many couples are “soft swap,” meaning that there’s no penetration allowed, only oral. I once hooked up with a couple where the lady was okay with her husband having anal sex with me, but not vaginal. Comfort levels are a very personal thing and it’s best to establish what everyone is cool with before things get too hot and heavy, because by then it’s too late.

The last big rule about dating like a unicorn is to have no expectations. I never date a couple thinking, “maybe one of them will be ‘the one!’” This isn’t just because I currently have a partner. This is mostly because they currently are each other’s partners. They’re together because it works for them. I’m there to have fun, and they’ve brought me in for them to have fun. And as I said before, so long as everyone is having that fun, then I’m all good! I love spicing it up and this helps me do that both for myself as well as for others. I don’t expect to come out of a sexy fun time feeling emotionally fulfilled, which is exactly why I have other things in my life that fulfill me. For me, it’s a hobby, a really super amazingly fun hobby. My limited expectations are probably my most Unicorn-like quality.

I don’t know if I’ll always be a Unicorn, but for now, I personally am enjoying the hell out of being a magical, mythical creature, and if it’s right for you, then I hope you can too!