7. When You’re Not Looking For Sex

Yes, having sex with an ex may seem better than a one-night stand, because of that awesome familiarity. But there are also emotions and intimacy and, before you know it, you could be wondering if you’re falling in love again. If you weren’t already talking to them before, talking to them just to hook up with them can lead to drama.

8. When It’s Been A While And You’re Genuinely Concerned About Their Well Being

If you and your ex cut all ties, even mutual friends, and many months have passed and you’re truly clueless as to what’s going on in their life, then it’s OK to send a casual text asking them how they are. But only if it’s out of genuine concern and not because you want to start something back up again… or gloat.

9. When You Realize The Pros Outweigh The Cons

There are so many cons in talking to an ex shortly after a breakup, and many of them have to do with the emotional state you’re both in. But once you can get to the point where talking to your ex has more pros than cons, then consider it.

10. When You’ve Talked It Through With Your Therapist Or Friends A Million Times And Have A Game Plan

I’m a firm believer that after a breakup, therapy is your BFF. You have so many things you want to talk about and work out, and you may not want to discuss them with friends or family. So, if you’re thinking you’re ready to talk to your ex again, you definitely want to come up with a plan with your therapist or someone else you talk to about it. Go over all the emotions, concerns, fears, and the rest of it. You want to make sure you’re talking to them again for the right reasons.