2. When You’re Not Drunk

Talking to an ex when you’re drunk can mean trouble. Texting, emailing, or post anything on their Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or whatever other million forms of social media exist could be something you’ll quickly regret the next day.

3. When They Can Mention Their New Partner Without You Flipping A Table

What sucks about breaking up with someone is that eventually they will start dating again and that someone, because you broke up, won’t be you. It’s only when your ex can bring up the new person they’re dating and you know you won’t fly into a jealous rage, that you can talk to them.

4. When You Think You Can Be Genuinely Happy For Them

I feel like this one is hard. Depending on how the relationship ended, it might be a very long time before you can be happy for your ex. If you know that talking to them will lead to you being fake happy for whatever good things are going on in their life, then wait awhile. Feigning happiness is exhausting… and a bit cruel, too.

5. When You’re Not Hoping To Get Back Together

Remember, you broke up for a reason. In talking to them with the sole hope of rekindling what once was is regressing; you’re supposed to be moving forward.

6. When You Know You Can Do So Without Gloating

True story: My ex, who has been jobless for a while now, is being kicked out of his apartment on April 1. Where he will end up, he doesn’t know. I, on the other hand, will be in Siem Reap, Cambodia on April 1 fulfilling my dream of seeing Angkor Wat. Because there is still so much animosity there due to his behavior, there’s no way in hell I can talk to him right now without gloating. Gloating is not an attractive quality in a human being, so I’m going to wait before I pick up the phone to text him. It’s not OK to bask in the misfortunes of others. Even if they did break your heart.