My 50 Shades of Grey: Interview with a True Sub

I must admit, I’ve always been fascinated by the BDSM world which is why I jumped at the opportunity to interview someone who’s been immersed in the community for the past five and half years. For those who don’t know, BDSM is an acronym meaning Bondage & Discipline/ Domination & Submission/ Sadism & Masochism. Usually, the first thing that comes to my mind when I hear the term BDSM is someone getting spanked while down on all fours and a ball gag in their mouth. This may very well be the case for a lot of people who practice BDSM, but there is so much more in terms of the relationship that is built between the two people who practice – one usually being dominant (a “daddy” or “master”), the other being submissive.  My friend (who Is a sub, and shall remain anonymous), was kind enough to answer some questions I had.

What exactly is a Daddy/Master? What is a sub? What’s the dynamic of that relationship?

A Master (sometimes referred to as ‘Daddy’) is a man who, within the game, owns your body and mind. The two terms (Master and Daddy) are not always used interchangeably. My first foray into this world was with a Master and he liked to be referred to as either ‘Master’ or ‘Sir’ in the beginning. Once we became more emotionally bonded, I was able to call him ‘Daddy’ and we mostly stayed in that world of age-play (the parent/child dynamic).

The term ‘Master’ usually denotes a more dominant tone and there will be some tenderness during the sessions together, but your job as a sub (which is what you are if you have a master) is to please your Master; your pleasure is unimportant. With a Master, a sub will experience more humiliation and degradation games.

The term sub is short for submissive, so that applies to the person in the relationship that is NOT the Master; the sub’s job is to worship and please their Master.

A man who likes the ‘Daddy’ title is still the dominant one and, as the ‘baby’, your job is still to please your Daddy, but your Daddy is usually also very interested in pleasing his baby girl. You almost always receive more sweetness and affection from the Daddy/baby relationship.

When did you first get into the world of BDSM?

I first got into it when a guy I thought was cute asked me if I wanted to be owned and I was like, “What does that mean??” And then we engaged in a Master/sub relationship where I was walked on a leash, spanked, etc. and I loved it.

Which relationship dynamic do you personally prefer?

I prefer the Daddy dynamic. I like to be submissive, and I will take some humiliation, but I really enjoy the sweetness of cuddling and having my needs meet.

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My 50 Shades of Grey: Interview with a True Sub

About The Author
- Julia Solomon is a comedian based out of NYC. She is also a skincare enthusiast and an endearing woman. Follow her on Instagram @thejuliasolomon