Set the intention that you’re going to be okay. The fear and stress of breakups have a tendency to make us feel as though we’re coming undone, cut adrift from “life as we know it”. One of the ways I learned to remain grounded and calm in the midst of turmoil was to set intentions for my future self. I would constantly tell myself that everything was going to be okay. That I was going to be happy, safe, worthy, trusting, loving and loved. It was my way of reaching for something better, higher than where the present moment found me. Giving myself these positivity pep talks whenever I found myself struggling, prevented a bad moment from turning into a bad day.

Ask for help. And be super persnickety about getting the right kind of guidance that’s going to serve your self-compassion plan. Whilst our family and friends can have the greatest of intentions, we often receive a barrage of unsolicited advice, separation in the ranks, other people’s relationship drama, and hurtful gossip instead. Be an excellent guardian of your vulnerability and seek out a trusted someone who can guide you through this darkness with respect, compassion and light. I live thousands of miles from my family and sought my support from dear friends and my yoga community. My help showed up in the form of babysitting, a spa day treat, meals shared around a neighbors dinner table, a nightly call from my best friend, healing energy work, even home-made soup left on my stoop. Allow others to give you the gift of tending your heart.

Step aside for illumination. Your future deserves your awareness and expansion. Continually create time and space to reflect and heal. This will require you saying “no” to others, so you can say “yes” to what matters most, the opportunity to sit with the truth of your knowings. Your courage, compassion, soul, intuition and listening skills are mandatory attendees to these solo retreats. However, your fear and ego are blacklisted. I liked to take my self-enquiry to yoga, for a stand up paddle, or a walk along the beach. Take yours to the place where you feel most connected to you. Play the role of witness, rather than participant and see if you can connect the dots to identifying old patterns of behavior, beliefs or stories that no longer feel like they fit you. When we’re evolving and expanding our inner world, our outer world can sometimes feel misaligned. Shine the light of awareness by asking yourself what feelings, thoughts and actions are you willing to edit, delete or rewrite? What’s the value, where is the lesson in this experience? There’s buried treasure, often laying in plain sight, waiting to be mined; trust me. When I embraced the Universal truth that life was happening for me, I began to see everything through the eyes of gratitude, and that became a game changer.