Saying You Need More Time

Sometimes love happens so quickly that your partner proposes a lot sooner than you may be ready for. This is perhaps the most delicate situation encountered in any marriage proposal because your partner could be crushed by anything other than a firm “Yes!” Still, no one should ever rush into marriage before both partners are completely sure they are doing the right thing. If you’re not ready to say yes or no, you have to find the right way to say that you need more time.

Reply ideas include:

• “I know that I care for you very much, and I think our relationship could really grow into something wonderful. I just believe we need see how things develop before we consider such a life-changing commitment.”
• “I really do love you, and I’m not saying no. I just really need more time. I hope we can talk about both of our expectations for the future, and then maybe one day you’ll want to ask me again.”
• “This is so sudden. I love you, but I’m not ready to talk about marriage yet. Let’s take more time getting to really know each other, and then maybe we can talk about marriage later.”

Tips About How to Respond

Regardless whether you answer with a yes or no, you want to make sure your partner understands your response. Consider these points.

Give a Clear Answer

Your partner deserves a clear answer, so make sure that’s exactly what you give. Don’t offer a vague response like, “Maybe…” or put conditions on your acceptance.

Be Honest

Don’t allow yourself to be pressured into saying yes if you’re not ready. Tell your partner what’s in your heart. If he’s the man you think he is, he’s going to appreciate your honesty. Tell him he’s the one for you if that’s what you feel. If he’s not, he deserves to know so both of you can get on with your lives.

Don’t Leave Your Partner Hanging

Waiting for an answer can be agonizing, so don’t leave things hanging in the air after your partner pops the question. It’s alright to say you’re not ready and that you need more time if that’s the case, but do make sure your partner knows that the subject is tabled for the time being.

On the other hand, don’t walk away knowing in your heart that you intend to say no eventually. It’s better to be brave and let your partner down now rather than give him false hope.

Don’t Let Your Answer Sound Rehearsed

Proposals are often rehearsed to get the wording just right. After all, it can be a bit nerve wracking asking someone to marry you. Even so, replies should sound natural and come from the heart even if you’ve already put great thought into how you’d answer this all important question.