I’ve talked more than one groom off the ledge when his bride was being unreasonable during wedding planning. I tell them that the last few weeks before the wedding are like an out-of-control carriage, with nobody driving the horses. I say “hold on tight, and remember to breathe,” and I promise them their beautiful fiancé will return to normal after their big day.
Dr. Greer says that the imbalance can lead to arguments and conflict.
“If one person doesn’t place the same importance on the fine details, and the other does, they may either be disinterested, uncooperative, or reluctant to contribute their assistance to handling the responsibilities,” Dr. Greer says. “It can make their partner feel uncared for or disappointed that their future spouse is not sharing the same excitement and enthusiasm for the wedding.”
When one of my brides tells me how angry she is with her fiancé about something wedding-related, I’m quick to caution her not to do anything or say anything that she can’t live with forever. They’re planning a day that is the launchpad for rest of their lives together. As a married couple, they’ll face far more difficult challenges. How they handle disagreements and stress together foreshadows their responses in difficult situations later on. If you cannot agree where to seat people at your wedding, how will you make decisions that actually matter later in life?
Every wedding – whether you have a huge bash or escape to elope – is significant and important for the couple. Dollars spent on the wedding day to not represent years of happiness after you say “I do.” Although life is certainly easier when your parents are on board with your wedding plans, what you actually decide to do should be up to the couple. And they should both buy in to the total package before any planning begins.
Curated by Erbe