Whenever we speak of intimacy, the first thing that comes into people’s minds is sex. True intimacy relies on knowledge — on knowing people just as well, if not better, than they know themselves.

Here are a few things you’ll want to try:

1. Tell her she’s beautiful.

There is no shortage of men who are willing to compliment women on a daily basis. The difference between them and you, however, is that when you tell the woman you love that she’s beautiful, it isn’t with ulterior motives.

2. Write her a love letter.

Give her a physical thing that she can go back and reference whenever she misses you or feels uncertain of your love, and she’ll feel much more secure — and happier.

3. Take a vacation together.

One of the best ways to become more intimate with your lover, to get to know and understand her more deeply, is to take a long trip together. Not just a weekend — two weeks minimum.