Tag: resolutions

Financial Health and Real Resolutions to Make Your Relationship Fit

by zfortadminin LOVE

You make new year’s resolutions every year for yourself. But now that you’re in a twosome, it’s time to tackle this year’s to-do together.

“Making resolutions as a couple bonds you,” explains relationship expert April Masini. And, bonus, making relationship resolutions with a partner holds you accountable to them, says Rachel Needle, Psy.D, clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist.

But where to begin? Here are six new year’s relationship resolutions our experts say you should take on together.

1. Schedule a set time to connect each day.

Life sometimes gets in the way of connecting with our partners. This year, promise to set aside a specific time each day that you and your significant other will spend quality time together, suggests Needle. “Many couples touch base throughout the day but spend that time only reviewing the mundane details,” she says. With your resolution, decide the time you set aside is time you’ll really connect. “You can catch up on the day,” she says, “but also discuss feelings about the day or try asking your partner questions that help you to continue to get to know them more intimately.”

2. Get financially fit.

Make this the year you hit your financial goals. “Whether it’s a financial bucket list, a debt reduction plan, a vacation savings plan, or deciding what to do with a gift, financial goal-setting as a couple is a wonderful way to start off the new year,” says Masini. “It lets you feel you’re taking charge of your money, together. That’s not just a good feeling, it’s a relief of stress over financial issues that you’ve not dealt with.”

3. Plan more time to be sexual together.

Sex is a key component of a healthy relationship. So if your sex life could use a boost, set a resolution to no longer put sex on the back burner. “Make a commitment to prioritize being sexual together and plan it,” says Needle. “Having one of your new year’s resolutions devoted to this shows that you understand the importance of continued physical intimacy in your relationship and makes it more likely it will happen.” Needle also suggests planning new things to try this year in bed — or out.

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Declutter Your Love Life for Spring

by RJ Newellin LOVE

Your bedroom may be free of clutter, but what about your heart?

Spring Cleaning isn’t just for belongings; it’s for improving the quality of your life. This is the perfect time of year to discard what no longer serves us – and yes, this includes relationships. We all have our own unique energy drains, emotional rough spots and cluttered habits that could use a little ‘clean-up’ from time to time. If you’re hoarding a mess (even too much of a good thing), it’s time to make room for what you really want.

Spring Cleaning your love life works in three steps: (1) Defining the things that drain your energy. (2) Recognizing why they don’t serve you. (3) Taking out the trash.

Here are six areas to consider:

1. Your Time:

“How we spend our days is how we spend our lives,” according to Annie Dillard. What are you doing that just isn’t working? Are you too busy for love?

If you don’t make time to build new relationships now, you’ll never have time to maintain them in the future. So how many unnecessary dating apps are you using? Do you spend hours each day on social media, instead of making quality time with your partner or date(s)? Does your work, hobby or social routine make it hard to commit to relationships? If time is money, budgeting is important. Cancel ‘investments’ that don’t bring results.

2. Your Self:

Low self-esteem, lack of a personal care routine, and poor mental/physical health are all serious buzz-kills in the love and sex department. If you feel insecure or unhealthy, here’s your chance to commit to solutions. Define and delete the beliefs that drag you down.

Everyone is a work in progress; if you can’t accept that about yourself, you’ll most likely struggle to accept it in your partner. So if you want to find love in relationships, the first step is to cultivate that in yourself. Examine your self-worth and care routines, and note how that translates to your interactions with others. Outer results reflect inner decisions. The way we see ourselves is often how we treat our partners.

3. Your Baggage:

Have you noticed negative patterns in your relationships? Does pain from your past make it harder to trust? Fear is love’s greatest obstacle; so in terms of baggage, handle with care.

The first “thing” that pops into your head can often improve with practice: journaling, talking it out, reading self-help books and/or spiritual work. But when it comes to deeper wounds, a therapist, spiritual leader or mentor can and should be asked for help. Taking honest inventory of our own baggage is a crucial part of de-cluttering our love lives.

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