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Kissing–How to Absolutely Freshen It Up

Kiss Me Quick, And Then Keep Doing It


Look, I know you’re an adult.  You’ve been in the kissing game for a long time, and I know you’ve got your methods, but like all activities, you can always improve the fundamentals and up your game.

First, I’m going to go over a list of don’ts.  Shocking as it is, I have experienced all of these with men over 30.  I am submitting this list as a public service.

What Absolutely NOT to do:

Tip 1:  Slobber. Always Something There To Remind Me

Make sure to cover the whole bottom half of the girl’s face with an even layer of your spit.  Imagine a dotted line from ear to ear, across her nose, then reaching down to her chin, and try to cover that whole area.  Hormones are tricky things, and you don’t want to walk away from this adventure without her being able to smell your lunch on her upper lip.

Tip 2: Don’t forget to cover every tiny detail of the mouth with your tongue!  Ever!

Nobody wants to think about the worst case scenario, but a real modern lothario is going to have to accept the possibility that some of his conquests may go missing or die.  How can you help?  Well, think of every kissing session as an opportunity to take in information.   If you’ve spent some time getting hot and heavy and you could not assist the police in making a detailed plaster cast of the inside of  “the victim’s” mouth, you’ve wasted everyone’s time.  Touch every tooth with your tongue.  Now, do it again.  Make notes.  Try to see how far you can get it down her throat.

Tip 3: Strangle Hold Hands

It’s well known that there’s nothing that makes a girl feel safer and more cared for than when someone, preferably James Franco, softly caresses her cheek, then gently cradles her face in his hands to kiss her.  Now, imagine how much better she’d feel if imaginary James Franco had his hands loosely but solidly around her throat!

Tip 4: Hickeys

Hickeys serve a lot of purposes.  For one, they are marking your territory, like a dog pissing on a tree.  For second, if you are judicious about the size and location of your hickeys, they can protect your property because you’ve marked a pretty girl in a hideous manner.  If you are dating a particularly naive girl, she may form the impression that you are a sexy vampire, a la “Edward.”  How exciting for everyone!  I once saw a Dunkin’ Donuts employee in Plano, TX who was wearing a temporary turtleneck of hickeys, covering him from his jawline down into his uniform, and although it was nauseating, I thought, “Well, at least somebody loves him.”  It may have been a series of unfortunate birthmarks.  What am I, a scientist?

NOW Here’s How to ABSOLUTELY Freshen Up KISSING:

The lips are the most publicly available erogenous zone.  Kissing involves all the senses, we’re communicating by touch and smell, and even with pheromones, those weird, invisible strings that draw us together.  Kissing is a kind of magic, and it doesn’t get enough attention.

Mirror Man:

Kissing is something that two people do together, so try not to be too dominant or submissive.  It’s a give-and-take, so feel where your partner is and try to match it.  Mirror their pressure, rhythm, and frequency.

Change it Up:

Build up to crescendos, adding pressure and urgency, then take it slow and gentle.  Remember that closed-mouth kisses can be both incredibly tender and sensual, mix them in with, as we used to say, “Frenching”.  Make variations in your method until your partner thinks you’ve been kissing other people, and then say no, Virginia told me to do it, and then they’ll say who the hell is that?  Now you’re fighting, and we all know how erotic that can be!

Take Your Time:

Too often as adults, kissing is given a short shrift as we gallop towards intercourse, but we forget what an important part of foreplay it is.  Remember when you were a teenager, and you’d kiss until your mouth was chapped and your eyes were out of focus, just making out in a dark corner until an authority figure found you?  Remember how fun that was?  Let your partner know you’re going to stop at first base for fifteen or twenty minutes before you continue with more foreplay.  Set a timer on your phone. It won’t get boring, it’ll just make you more excited to hit the bedroom!

Make Mine a Make Out

Look, almost everyone likes sex.  Presidents and college students and married people all like it  and think it’s great.  But whatever happened to just making out?


In the beginning, there was kissing.  Lots and lots of sweet, hot, open-mouthed kissing.  And it was good.  We’d walk around in a daze after hours of it.  And then we moved to second base.  And lo, it was also pretty good.  Bras were stuffed under couches, not to be seen again until moving day.  Slowly, a bunch of kids who knew next to nothing about baseball moved towards a home run- and many of us never looked back.

Look, almost everyone likes sex.  Presidents and college students and married people all like it  and think it’s great.  But whatever happened to just making out?  You know, getting hot and heavy, kissing until your mouth is all tingly and puffy, feeling hands inching ever closer towards the edge of your bra- it’s fun and super hot!

Kissing Feels Great:

Kissing reduces cortisol, a stress chemical in the body.  Fifteen minutes of kissing measurably reduces levels of cortisol in academic laboratory make-out tests.  Kissing and making out releases all kinds of feel-good chemicals and hormones, including oxytocin, the love drug.  That makes making out a natural painkiller, and it also bonds you to a new person or an established partner.  Men like kissing because it’s a way to introduce more testosterone into women’s systems, which makes sex even sexier.  Women like kissing men because it’s a way to assess their appropriateness as a biological mate.   We’re usually looking for people whose genetic makeup is dissimilar to one’s own, which makes for stronger offspring.  Kissing and pheromones transfer a lot of that information about another person- unfortunately, kissing can’t help determine whether one still uses a skateboard as their main mode of transportation.

Kissing is Intense:

Kissing is done with one’s eyes closed, not just because it’s a social norm, but because kissing provides so much great information and stimulation it’s better to cut down on visual stimuli- also, because while you’re kissing, your partner probably looks like they have one big eye in the middle of their forehead.

It’s Low Risk:

For single people, kissing and making out packs a lot of the same heart-stopping thrills as sex, but without the downsides of one-time hookups- there’s virtually no STD or pregnancy scares, and it’s not as embarrassing to run into someone you made out with once at the Trader Joe’s.  If you’ve just started seeing someone, think about making out a time or two before you start having sex- you’ll be more comfortable with each other and probably have even more fun building intimacy and looking forward to the main course.

It Makes Sex Hotter:

For couples, making out makes sex hotter- building anticipation and just having fun with each other.  Try making rules- set a ten minute timer that’s only for kissing, then another timer that’s only for touching each other, and so on- by the time you get to sex you’ll be completely bonkers and have a wonderful time!

It’s Portable:

Making out can be done with your clothes on, or mostly on, so you can do it in a car or in a gazebo, in a movie theater or methadone clinic, or lots of places it wouldn’t be that great to have sex.  It’s not polite to do in a Denny’s, but many have.

In closing, the next time you’re with someone you’re into, consider making more out of making out!