The First 12 Minutes —Do’s & Don’ts When Meeting Someone New

Countdown to LOVE: A new survey reveals that it takes just 12 minutes to discover whether or not you like someone.

Body odour was found to be the most off-putting characteristic for six in ten hopeful singles (59 per cent), followed by bad breath (53 per cent).

Meanwhile, four in ten of us (38 per cent) get turned off if their date starts swearing – and it appears we start judging people even before we meet face-to-face.

One in 20 singles (6 per cent) research their date online by viewing their social media pages on Facebook and Twitter.

A quarter (25 per cent) of people will also make drastic changes to their appearance so they impress a potential partner on a big date with a new haircut, new perfume or a manicure being cited as the most popular options for women.

You’re being judged! Singletons will be immediately judged on their smile, whether they make eye contact and their tone of voice, while swearing, bad breathe and body odor are big turn-offs.

Meanwhile one in 20 men (5 per cent) will grow designer stubble to impress on the day.

One in sixteen women (6 per cent) and one in 20 men (5 per cent) go on a diet in the lead up to a first date.

Making a good impression: A quarter of people will also make drastic changes to their appearance so they impress a potential partner on a big date

And it appears almost twice as many men are more forgiving and will offer their date a second chance after a bad first encounter.

Psychologist Donna Dawson said: ‘It is the little things you can do that will mean a lot and will put you ahead in the dating game.

‘For example, good hygiene and fresh breath reveal self-respect and consideration for others.

“Wearing clothes which make you feel both smart and comfortable will help you to relax, which in turn provides the confidence to create a great first impression.

‘Eye contact conveys sincerity and trustworthiness, and shows you are interested in the other person.

‘Human beings are programmed to return a smile so smiling, even when you are nervous, will get you and your first date off to a good start.’

A spokesperson from AXA, who commissioned the research, added: ‘That initial step in a relationship can be a nervous experience, but an important one.

‘You need to think about the little things that will mean a lot on that first date; it appears first impressions are formed very quickly!’

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Why Not Having Sex on a First Date can be Awesome After All

There’s nothing wrong with setting out to get laid on the first date, but there’s fun in going on a date that leads to no sex, or even not kissing.

I’ve been in a total “dating sucks” state of mind lately. Maybe it’s the winter weather that makes me want to bog down in a sea of fleece blankets, warm tea mug in hand. I’ve been apathetic, because all I can think about is how much work it is to make plans, get dressed, go somewhere, and keep up the effort of being cordial with someone who could be a total asshole at the end of the night.

People who are hyper-focused on being in a relationship will approach dates with tunnel vision. The same can be said for folks who are hyper-focused on getting laid, too.

I had to remind myself of all the fun times I’ve had on first dates that didn’t “go anywhere.” No sex, not even a kiss, and not even a second date. What ever happened to the joy of meeting people for the sake of meeting people?

And don’t forget, if you’re trying to find the right person, join LOVE TV as a member today, and you can streamline your search.

1. A sexless first date can make you see a friend in a new light.

no sex on a first date

The first time I went on a date with a friend was kind of odd, which, I guess, is to be expected. I saw it coming. He’d hint at his interest with suggestive comments about my outfits, my smile, not-so-overt innuendos, etc.

But it’s fun to see the different side of someone you’ve always viewed platonically. He held open doors and looked nicer than usual and gave me puppy dog eyes a lot. The charm was turned all the way on, and I thought “okay, I can see why someone would date you.”

It was cute! We didn’t work out romantically for a number of reasons, but it’s good to remember why you’re friends with people to begin with, and it’s good to see someone turn on the charm for you.

At the same time, if your date goes horribly that can be a sign that your friendship isn’t as solid as you think it is.

2. No post-sex regrets

I’m lucky to say (and it’s sad that I feel lucky in this) that I haven’t had too many sexual encounters I’ve regretted. It helps that I generally don’t have sex if I’m really intoxicated.

When you want sex you want it, and I tend to listen to my carnal desires if I don’t think they’ll have unpleasant repercussions. That being said, there have definitely been underwhelming coital encounters that left me thinking, “I could have had a V8.”

I believe that no sex is better than bad sex. At least with a sexless first date, the worst you get out of it is an hour wasted. There’s no lamenting over how you could have gone home and just pulled out your vibrator.

first date conversation

3. You can focus better on who you’re with.

I know what it’s like to go on a date with only the end goal of smashing in mind. You entertain the person you’re with, have amiable-enough conversation, lest they say something that turns you off completely and ruins any chance of you getting naked for them. No amount of friendly laughter and offhand jokes will hide what you want at the end of the night.

And hey, I’m not knocking this at all. If you’re being safe and smart about casual sex, more power to you.

But what would it be like to go into a date with no expectations at all?

I heard some good advice once about dating and “meeting people”: focus on friendship first. Think of a first date as a potential friend. Find out their interests, see if they’re fun to hang out with at a museum, or if they like 90s sitcoms, or what they do outside of their day job.

We don’t go around sleeping with our friends when we first meet them – or at least I certainly don’t. If you do, you might have some things to work on. (Don’t we all?)

The key to an enjoyable first date is the “no expectations” part. I live in a big city with so many interesting, weird, wacky and beautiful people – I wouldn’t do them (or myself) justice if I were only focused on sleeping with them, or making them my significant other.

more dates

Wow, I think I’ve actually convinced myself to go on some more dates! After all, the snow is melting, the days are getting longer, the sun is showing itself a bit more. Anything goes in Chicago though – we know it doesn’t really get nice until Memorial Day.