Underneath the Superhero Elements

But that’s part of what makes what is happening with Alex Danvers so interesting. Peeling back the superhero elements, the aliens, the powers, the fight scenes, and what we have is a character who through her entire life has felt something missing, a woman who has never given herself the chance to ask exactly why. Now, into adulthood, while having carved out a place for herself in her life and career, finally she meets someone, another woman, who clicks that spark in her. Someone who looks at her and sees right past the walls she’s built up with her denial all of these years. Suddenly the truth of it is so undeniable to her. But she still struggles, she fights with herself but she knows, she knows this is who she is. She says it out loud, she says it to the people she cares about. And after all that, she still doesn’t get the girl. At least not yet anyway, this is a TV show after all.

I feel like what makes Alex’s coming out hit so home for me, as a queer woman who also didn’t come out till she was 27, is that it is so messy, but in a quiet and personal way. It hurts for her a little bit. So often on TV shows or in movies coming out is either portrayed as some over the top scandalous reveal, something that throws a family into disarray, or sometimes the exact opposite, it’s treated so casually that other characters literally dismiss it as a “yeah, so?” type of thing. In a perfect world this would be great, but we don’t live in that world. This is not going to be the experience of the vast majority of people who come out.

Even when people love you, they can get it wrong.

Even when people are good, loving, and supportive folks, people who put rainbow filters on their Facebook profiles, people who hold Drag Race viewing parties, they can screw it up. Because just knowing that sexuality or gender identity isn’t a choice doesn’t prepare you for having someone you care about come out. Being close to someone for so long and not knowing something so major about them can make you stumble. It can make you question yourself for not seeing it. So, when Alex comes out to her sister Kara (AKA Supergirl), she stumbles. She’s spooked and her moment of hesitation stokes Alex’s insecurity. It makes her flee a bit, makes her question herself.