An Argument Against Revealing Erotic Fantasies

Even sex experts who believe that revealing erotic fantasies to your partner can strengthen the relationship acknowledge that this tell-all scenario isn’t for everyone. “A lot of happily married people with good sex lives never share their fantasies. They keep them private,” Bartlik says.

One good reason to remain mum, says Bartlik, is that the majority of people in long-term, fulfilling sexual relationships do not necessarily think about their partner when they’re at the height of sexual passion. But even though both partners might routinely think of something other than each other, revealing this may result in hurt feelings.

Sometimes, the best solution may be to edit your revelation so it’s more reassuring to your partner. Fantasies about other people, for example, might be best kept to ourselves. “Common sense tells us what we don’t need to reveal,” says McClary.

Bringing Your Partner Into the Loop With Sexual Fantasies
But when it’s only inhibition, not guilt, that’s keeping you from sharing your fantasies from your partner, it might be mutually beneficial to let those feelings surface, say experts.

“Don’t expect your partner to figure out what turns you on. Tell your partner. That’s all part of the fantasy,” McClary says. “Life’s too short to wait for your partner to figure it out.”

For many couples, sharing erotic fantasies may be a matter of remembering how things used to be when your relationship was new. “Ask yourself, ‘What’s going to make us start giggling again? What used to be sexy and fun?'” McClary says.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article