In closing, here are my 6 de-jerkify yourself tips!
- Juuuuuust say I’m sorrryyyyy. Justifying your own guilt takes so much more work than just owning your shit and saying those two terrifying words; I’m sorry. I’m really sorry I hurt you. I didn’t mean to. Thank you for letting me not be perfect. Okay, that was more than two words. It’s hard. And they may not forgive you. But I bet they will. Your openhearted, them-focused behavior might just shock them into clemency.
- I suggest you become hand holding best friends with the concept that you’ll never be a perfect specimen of humanity. It’s gonna be okay. You’re going to disappoint people, drop tons of balls, and say dumb shit. Anyone that loves you already knows this, and they’re probably just waiting for you to figure it out too.
- Give up on the guilt trip game. Don’t play it, don’t take it. No one can make you feel guilty, and inspiring guilt in others takes you galaxies away from mutual understanding. If there’s a rational reason for your guilt, there’s probably also a solution, so once you’ve admitted your misstep, humble yourself, shut your mouth, open your ear holes and listen. Feeling heard and understood is a powerful mercenary to the both the production and destruction of guilt.
- Guilt also moonlights as a resentment-breeding machine. Are you a person that thinks everyone is always mad at you and if they’re not now, they’re about to be? You probably feel real resentful about that. All those people just giving you shit, right? Living with the dull groan of imagined guilt is common, demoralizing, and something that probably confuses the shit out of people in your life. It also keeps you safe from intimacy, as you wallow in a fully catered one-person you-party. I hope it has an open bar. Your childhood likely holds the secrets to this current condition, but as a now living breathing rent paying adult, you owe yourself the chance to have more harmony with those around you.
- Spend ten minutes thinking about the person you’re in guilt conflict with. Slip on their shoes and go for a jog. If you were them: what would you want to hear from you, what action would make you feel better? Then do it. I mean. First give yourself a mountain of props for wearing their stinky shoes, THEN do it.
- Now go do something nice for yourself! Right now. If you’re feeling guilty about feeling guilty, please don’t, cause now I’m feeling guilty that I might have made you feel guilty. I’m sorry! I’d like to insist that you, in the corniest way possible, put on your favorite song, smack a smile on your face, and give your beautiful perfect imperfect self a guilt free juicy fucking hug.