For a former Playboy model to stand up and say ‘this is what my body actually looks like,’ showing off her stretch marks as proof that having two kids does not, in fact, leave mommy with perfect washboard abs – that’s breaking the ‘rules’ we’ve allowed the Hollywood patriarchy to set for us. And it’s great! We need more photos like it. The world needs more public figures to be up front about reality. But the honest truth is, Kendra now spends a significant amount of time working out intensely and eating a careful diet, in order to get that ‘bikini body’ back. Her career depends greatly on her attractiveness to a wide audience. Unfortunately, that’s what it means to be a woman in Hollywood.
Hollywood is not exactly a welcoming place for new mothers. If you find yourself feeling guilty because you haven’t lost the baby weight yet, please know you don’t have to be. A ‘perfect’ body does not exist. The media wants you to think it does.
The secret’s out: You are enough. It doesn’t matter if your belly has stretch marks forever. You are not required to “shed the baby fat” as if it were something shameful. Your only requirement as a mother is simple – be the best mother, partner, professional, and person you can. Self-care starts with self-acceptance. And as Kendra so generously showed us, it’s fun to celebrate your sagging skin and be grateful to your body for creating life.
Being healthy is good, but so is keeping it real. Stretch marks are not a sin. Flab does not need to be hidden. It should not take ‘bravery’ to show off your body as it is. But Hollywood is banking on our insecurity.
I know this, because I am a model. I’m six feet tall, and my body is naturally somewhere between a size 8 and a 10. For several years, I practically killed myself trying to sweat and starve my body into the unnatural shape that magazines said I was “supposed” to have.
How did I get a ‘perfect’ body? Well, I ran a minimum of six miles a day, four days a week. I lifted weights for three hours a day, two days a week. On the seventh day – my ‘day off’ – I did an hour of hot yoga and ate nothing but watermelon. When I had a photo-shoot, I prayed that the photo editor would airbrush my curves away – and they always did. When I had Hollywood’s ‘perfect’ body (size 0-4), it was because I was dangerously bulimic. My mind was consumed by my diet and exercise regimen, and I constantly worried about my abs. I did not have time to maintain friendships, or pursue my passions. The need for Hollywood’s approval ruled my life.