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Love Well, Live Well

Do YOU have a sincere hope, desire, and dream of love that includes greater self confidence, respect, overall wellbeing, a positive, passionate love life that recharges, inspires and fulfills you that hasn’t materialized yet? YOU are not alone.

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How to Win at Online Dating

  1. If it doesn’t work, let him know, and quickly move on.

I’m going to advocate for something here that’s not exactly a popular tactic with the youth. Instead of “ghosting” (I had to look it up too), tell the person the truth.

Last year I went on a lovely date with a guy who would have been an amazing match except that I didn’t feel chemistry with him. When I got the dreaded “I had such a great time with you! What’s your schedule like next week?” I put on my big girl panties and said something along the lines of, “I had a great time with you too, but I’m afraid I’m not feeling the love connection. Friends?” He sent me, no joke, a GIF of Nicky Minaj doing a hair flip, along with the response, “All good. Thanks for being up-front with me! See you around.”

I can only imagine that once he got over the initial shock of my response (I won’t pretend like rejection doesn’t hurt), he was glad to not be on the hook for weeks, wondering if I forgot to pay my phone bill, was playing a marathon version of “the game,” or some other stupid excuse we come up with in our minds to convince ourselves we’re not just being blown off when we know, deep down, that’s exactly what’s happening.

Think about the golden rule here. Don’t forget that these are humans you’re going out with, so treat them with respect, yeah. Unless you get an unsolicited dick pic. In that case, you have my full permission to send endless photos of micro-penises to that scumbag.

  1. Be kind to yourself.

When I was on Bumble I matched with about 30 guys in the first day (see? Not kidding about the numbers game). I messaged all of them, and got responses from only half. I was NOT happy about being rejected that many times, but you know what? It doesn’t matter. They don’t know me, and unfortunately for them, they never will (hey-ooooo!).

If you’re dating, online or IRL, you will probably get your feelings hurt, and will almost certainly feel rejected. I am sending you a big hug from the interwebs because I know how hard it can be. It would be very convenient to turn on a robot switch when feelings are on the line, but alas, it’s not 2020 quite yet.

In the meantime, be very, very kind to yourself. Keep in mind that dating is hard for everyone, and even Cara Delevingne gets rejected (look, those eyebrows aren’t for cowards).

But if you’re going to do it, follow these rules, and WIN*.

*(Cue DJ Khaled)