Distance makes the heart grow fonder.
“Right place, right time,” people always told me about my quest to find love.
I found out recently that’s only partly true; you can also find love at right swipe. Two years ago I met my boyfriend on the dating app, Tinder. We both “swiped right,” which meant we at least shared some superficial physical attraction. After texting for a few weeks, we realized on our first date that a colleague of his had tried to set us up years prior. Yet back then it wasn’t the right time or place for either of us.
After six months of dating in New York, we broke up and I moved to Los Angeles. Shortly thereafter, you guessed it — we got back together — and have been in a long-distance relationship ever since.
Though it hasn’t always been easy, we’ve made it work, and you can, too. The following tips will not only help make your long-distance relationship work, they’ll make it thrive:
1. Don’t listen to naysayers
People will tell you that long-distance relationships are everything from hard to impossible. More often than not, those folks were in long-distance relationships that did not work. Just because it didn’t work for them, doesn’t mean it isn’t going to work for you.
“People who spend too much time together get sick of each other. When you have that chemistry and connection, and something to look forward to, it keeps it alive, fresh, mysterious, it’s all good,” said Siggy Flicker, relationship expert and author of “Write Your Own Fairy Tale”.
Jason and the author, posing for a photo with fashion designer Betsey Johnson in Philadelphia (Photo: Frank Wong)
2. Focus on the mutual interests that bind you
When I’m not reporting the news, I work as a host for fashion events all over the country and Jason is a women’s apparel designer. So, you could say we both have a “passion for fashion.” Throughout the day, we send each other e-mails, texts and social media posts about fashion news.
Traveling is also important to both of us so we spend a lot of time daydreaming up our next adventures. Since I am the technology-savvy one in our relationship, I’ve created a private, shared document where we post pictures, links, and travel tips from friends.
On vacation in Tulum, Mexico at the Be Tulum Hotel. (Photo: Micah Jesse)
3. Use as much modern technology as possible
Do you remember the days when a letter used to take a week to deliver? Probably not. I’ll get to writing love letters later on, but between texts, emails, phone calls, FaceTime, Skype, Snapchat, and Instagram staying in constant contact with your loved one nowadays is a breeze. “Do things ‘together,’ like watching TV or folding laundry. Even if you’re not in the same room, it’ll bring you closer knowing you’re having a shared experience,” says Erika Ettin, JDate dating expert and founder of A Little Nudge.