We tend to focus on the classic reasons why relationships can go sour (i.e., lying, cheating, abuse, etc), never realizing that a lack of compatibility can force a wedge between any couple.
More often than not, the termination of a relationship is the result of two people who, at their core, are incompatible, and unable to respect the aspects of each other’s personality that they could not understand.
When we try to force our partners to pour nicely into the molds we’ve created, we are challenging their natural instinct to shape themselves however they may choose. Often, this occurs in relationships where one person is naturally ambitious and driven and the other is more relaxed and settled.
One of the worse things you can do is attempt to fit your ambitious partner into a conventional mold, or try to change anyone for that matter. I’ve been on the receiving end and it isn’t fun. If you happen to be interested in/involved with an ambitious person, here are seven things you need to know.
1) They will choose work over a date night.
Sometimes, I prefer to work instead of going out with my significant other. The pressure to appease their loneliness would frequently force me out of my zone and into a dress and heels for an evening of distracted dining, rushed conversations, and unsettled energy. The whole time I’m on the date, I’d be taking notes and answering work emails. I would end the night frustrated because I missed hours of work.
Set a mandatory date night once or twice a week. This is an opportunity for your partner to break away from work and a chance for you to get the affection and attention you need. If at any point you feel you are on the back burner, express this to your partner and offer some suggestions for how to resolve this.
2) Don’t be intrusive.
When your partner is occupied with their work, the worst thing you can do is to be intrusive. It will not only frustrate your significant other, but more than likely you will feel rejected.
It is a mistake to think that you can distract your mate from work with sex or other ploys. When the focus is high and the thoughts are flowing, intimacy is the last thing on your partner’s mind. Learn when your partner is in his or her flow and give them space to create.