What I didn’t expect that night was instant chemistry. It took little effort for us to keep a conversation going, and I love talking more than almost anything in life. We had very witty back-and-forth banter. And on top of that, there was a palpable sexual attraction we had for each other.
But it wasn’t until later that night that I realized I found someone special.
When I got back home, I couldn’t get her out of my mind. I had been enamored with other women in the past. I had been in love before. But this was the first time in my entire life when I felt that I could see someone more than a couple of times a week without getting bored or overwhelmed.
Shortly after our first date, I moved in with her, and we’ve been living together ever since.
I broke every rule I previously had for her. The thing is, though, I still have my introverted tendencies where I can’t see anyone else more than a couple of times a week. I still have to be by myself at times, even from my girlfriend, where we’ll spend time in other rooms, or I’ll sleep in the living room.
But I still love seeing her every day, and I miss her every time she goes to work. I feel like I can’t get enough of her. And this isn’t codependency; it’s that I found someone that I’m willing to share my life with, introverted tendencies and all.
I knew I found someone special because I put the way she makes me feel above everything else. I didn’t look at any arbitrary standards of what constitutes lovability. All I cared about was that she made me happy whenever I was around her, and she helps me help myself feel worthy of that love every day.
I hope that you have rules that you stand and abide by, but I hope, even more, that you find someone who you love so much that it makes you break your own rules.
Life is hard, and when you find someone you want to spend all of your time with, and it’s still not enough, work on building that relationship for as long as you can.