- We aren’t looking for other partners, just sex. It would be really hard for me to think that the person I’m with was saying, “I love you” to someone other than me. That set up works for some people. There are many people who are in polyamorous relationships and they’re truly happy with the set up. For them, there are twinges of jealousy from time to time, but nothing worse than any other traditional couple faces. There are other couples that don’t make this work but try to make themselves believe that it’s working because they like the idea in theory. I love the idea in theory. I would love to be like, “Hey everyone! Let’s all love everyone!” But I’m realistic about the way my energy flows and I know in my heart that it would break if I thought the person I loved loved someone else as much and in the same way as me. I’m lucky enough to be with someone who feels the same way in that regard, so again, it works! Also, part of it for me just comes down to, who the hell has all that time?! I barely have enough time for one relationship. I do like sex though, and I like it with many people, including but not limited to my partner. So when he’s out of town, what am I supposed to do? Not have sex?!
- We enjoy seeing each other with other people. I mean, seeing it. And if we can’t see it, just the thought of it has the ability to turn us on. If the thought of your boyfriend or girlfriend having sex with another person doesn’t turn you on, then you might not be okay with an open relationship. Some people in open relationships choose to not think about this happening, or try to ignore it. I’m not personally a fan of ignorance. I can’t ignore things I know are going on, nor do I want to. If it’s at all possible, I typically want to be there to watch it. But if I can’t because I’m busy or out of town or something, I’ll often ask for pictures and a full recap while we get frisky once he gets home. I don’t know what it is, it’s like live porn and the person you’re watching is the person you desire, so it’s even better! I’ve met couples with a rule of: “you can have sex with anyone else, but I have to be there.” That’s all well and good but if you’re out of traveling or way too busy that week, I’m having sex. This is a perfect example of why rules need to be as varied as the couples that set them.
- Speaking of rules, we have very few, but the ones we have we follow to a T and when we don’t we openly and willingly admit that we were wrong and profusely apologize. In life, in general, when you break a rule, you know it. If you don’t, it will be pointed out. When this happens to one of us, we feel very remorseful, whether we were the rule breaker or the one having to point it out. This remorse comes naturally and because we’re both open communicators, making it fairly easy for us to talk it out. It can be time consuming and emotionally difficult, but easy compared to keeping it in, that’s for sure.