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Finding Yourself In the FriendZone

Jerks always get the girl, nice guys like me get Friendzoned.

Well- if you feel entitled to have sex with everyone you like, or think if you’re a good friend to a girl you deserve sex- you’re also a jerk, you’re just a jerk she’s not attracted to.  Hope this helps!

Now I’m her friend and I have to listen to her complain about how there’s no good guys and it’s killing me!

If you don’t want to be her friend, don’t.  If you’re only being her friend in case one night she decides to sleep with you, don’t.  Be her friend because you think she’s cool and you like her company.  If you liked her so much, but she’s not good enough to be your friend: what did you like about her, again?

Women and Friendzoning:

Whenever a guy I liked didn’t like me back, I pretty much assumed that either I was too fat or he was threatened that I was smarter than he was, depending on how I was feeling that day.  I never blamed him for not liking me back, and I never said “MAN IF I’D BEEN HELLA AGGRESSIVE I WOULDN’T BE IN THIS STUPID FRIENDZONE.”

Pretty and Pink Friendzoning:

In the film Pretty in Pink, Duckie is pretty thoroughly Friendzoned by Andie.  He spends the movie romantically pining and pretending that she doesn’t know that he’s interested in her as a partner, but when he freaks out on her in Cats for being on a date with someone else, it’s clear that she’s known all along.  The audience sides with him in the movie and wants him to get the girl, even though she has never acted interested in him or misled him in anyway.  “But he’s been such a good friend to her!” So what?  She’s a good friend to him, too.  Why is his time worth her sexual interest?  And in the end he was just as interested in a random blonde at prom, anyway.

Jon Hamm Friendzoning Me:

Because I am a Hollywood type person with a modern a go-go lifestyle, last Thursday I was in a room with Mad Men’s Jon Hamm.  He is incredibly handsome and caught me looking at him in the dark.  We had a brief exchange, I was friendly, I was charming, I was wearing a dress and everything, but he definitely treated me as a friend, or, even worse, as a stranger at a comedy show.  That’s right: I was friendzoned by Jon Hamm, which is HORSEFEATHERS because I KNOW HE DOESN’T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND RIGHT NOW.   I WOULD BE SO NICE TO YOU JON HAMM.

So, like I said.  Crossed signals happen to everyone.  Stop talking about the friendzone.  Be as honest, kind, and open as you can, and also dress up when you go out, because people are attracted to that.