If you’re thinking about dating a man with kids, here’s what you should know:

1. Wait for the introductions.

My husband and I were a little impatient to introduce me to his family, so I met his kids after only a couple of months of dating. Though things worked out, it was overwhelming to me at first, especially because I wasn’t certain that our relationship would last. We were still just getting to know each other. In retrospect, I think the smarter thing to do would be to wait until we were in a committed relationship for the sake of the children.

2. Seeing a man’s nurturing skills can be a big turn-on.

When you watch your boyfriend interacting with his kids, you see what kind of man he is, what he’s capable of. You see what he has to give because he doesn’t hide his feelings. To me, that’s truly sexy.

3. Even once you’ve met his children, take it slowly.

You’re not Mary Poppins, and his kids may not like you at first. We’re all human beings with insecurities, wants and needs. The difference is, you’re an adult and they are still kids, so it’s important to think before you act. There can be tension and tempers, so you need to put on your big-girl pants and take things in stride. There will be arguments, hurt feelings and misunderstandings. Don’t force your relationship with his kids. Get to know them and let them get to know you. Take the initiative and reach out — spend a little one-on-one time together. But don’t be surprised if they rebuff your efforts at first. They don’t know you, so how can they be expected to trust you? Take things one step at a time and form your own relationship with them.