4. Your Expectations and Delusions:
This is a tough one to tackle alone, but it’s certainly not impossible. Deep down, most of us know why we’re unhappy. But it’s easier to blame external circumstances than admit how powerless we feel. Luckily, powerlessness is a feeling, and not always a fact. If we can’t or won’t get what we want, perhaps the stronger choice is to want what we have.
So be honest: Is your physical beauty standard so strict that no one you meet is compatible? Do you think you’re ‘too young at heart’ to date someone your age? Or, what if your opinion of yourself is so negative that you just don’t feel worthy of love? Expectations too low or too high are ingredients to failure. Delusion is a one-way street to never seeing the truth. In the positive spirit of Spring Cleaning, I challenge you to recognize these personal drains before they suck you dry.
5. Your Attachments:
In the words of the Buddha: “The root of suffering is attachment.” Now that you’ve defined all the things you don’t need, the next step is to find why they’re holding you back. Maybe you spend hours on social media each day to avoid real-life interactions with people. Perhaps you engage in unhealthy behavior to distract yourself from emotional wounds. Or maybe you worry about what others think because you don’t trust your own needs. Clutter occurs when we hold onto things that helped us once but no longer do.
Call this obstacle what it is – attachment – and resolve to let it go.
6. Your Actions:
This is the part where you scrub your heart clean. It’s not going to happen overnight, but a daily commitment to taking small actions will amount to lasting changes. Even if your life is a Hoarders-level mess, “taking out the trash” every day will make a huge difference in weeks, months and years. If a big, passionate, lifelong love is what you want (or even a series of fun, flirty flings), you’re going to have to make room. It may be hard at first, but trust me – the relief of a clutter-free love life is worth it.