6. You Can Compromise
Yup, conflict is great — and it’s even better when you can resolve things calmly, relationship coach and therapist Anita Chlipala tells Bustle. “You fight, but then are able to reach a compromise,” she says. “Conflict gets a bad rap in relationships, but what makes a couple compatible is that even when they disagree, they’re able to move past their differences and come up with compromises that work for both partners.”
Like Slatkin, Chlipala says it’s a good thing if you’re in conflict from time to time, as long as things can be resolved in a timely fashion. Relationships are work, and finding middle ground can be tough. “It won’t always be perfect, but it will be satisfactory enough,” she says of compromise. And that is A-OK.
7. You Have “Acceptable Differences”
“A big sign that people are compatible to me is what I would call ‘acceptable differences,'” Rob Alex, who created Sexy Challenges and Mission Date Night with his wife, tells Bustle. “These are differences that are not dealbreakers, but will add lots of conversation to your together time.” Acceptable differences, acceptable differences … wait, what are they? “If you are daring someone and they enjoy doing a certain activity that you have never even tried, but are curious about, that is one of these differences,” he says.
He goes on to elaborate with a few examples: “When my wife and I started seeing each other, she found out I really love attending minor league baseball games; however, she had never even been to one. So as she ventured into the world with me, she started to see that she enjoyed taking in a game, sitting in the warm sun, and having amazing conversations while we were there.” Even though she’d never woken up one morning and thought, “I think I’ll hit the ballgame,” she was able to enjoy one with her new partner, and could get down with one of their “acceptable differences.”
Everyone has weird things they enjoy, so it’s all about trying your partner’s weird pastimes, whatever they may be. “The one thing you should look for in a compatible partner are acceptable differences that will push you out of your comfort zone,” Alex says. That makes it way more exciting than meeting someone who just likes all of the same exact things as you.