3. Your Pals Are Enamored Too
Yeah, it rules if you have some overlap in the friend department. And it’s even better if your friends (who didn’t know your partner before) are now your partner’s friends, or at least in their fan club. A surefire sign of happiness is that your friends adore your partner, Cecil Carter, CEO of dating app Lov, tells Bustle.
“Your friends are likely more compatible with who you are than anyone else,” Carter says. “If your friends can quickly bond with your new partner as if they were one of the crew, it’s a great sign you two are compatible.” It stands to reason to invoke the old transitive mathematics rule (if A = B and B = C, A = C): If your friends are compatible with you, and they’re also compatible with your partner, then you and your partner should be compatible too.
4. You Fight
Shlomo Slatkin, who founded the Marriage Restoration Project with his wife Rivka, tells Bustle: “If you are fighting with your partner, it means that he/she is precisely the one for you.” Obviously, this is only true to a point, and if you’re settling in for your thrice-weekly fight, things are not OK. But a fight here and there is normal — and actually preferable, Slatkin says.
“Upon exploration, you will discover that the conflict you are experiencing is tailor-made for you — meaning you will see that beneath the surface. The issues you face with your spouse trigger your own personal past hurts and issues.” So they give you the opportunity to work through your issues, and come out the other side all-around happier and healthier. “When you can work through them in a mature and conscious way, you not only repair” your relationship, but you can also “achieve personal growth and healing.” Get some!
5. You Can Do You
And they can do them, just alongside you doing you. Whether it’s an in-tune morning or an all-around good vibe, you don’t have to alter your thang for your partner. “Your morning routine is the same and/or you are never a burden to the other person’s needs,” Caitlin K. Roberts, founder of To Be a Slut and co-founder of I’d Tap That, tells Bustle. “It feels really lovely when you can just fall into someone’s life and know that you aren’t taking up too much space in their personal time or changing their patterns,” she adds. Instead of feeling like you are changing everything up for them, you can just chill together, and “your love styles match up,” as she puts it.
“It’s great when someone looks at their partner’s gifts as a sign of affection and their partner understands receiving gifts as a sign of feeling loved,” she says. Hint: That means that your love styles match up. The same goes for “physical touch, verbal affirmations, and having things done for you.” If you’re on the same page here, and you can both “do you” in harmony, then you are good to go.