Similarly, fetishes may differ between a couple. Fetishes can be intricate and specific, not to mention potentially dangerous if not performed correctly. If your partner is into BDSM while you are not, or vice versa, it will most likely not work out. In my experience, I’ve learned that the comfort needs to come from both parties for it to be accomplished properly, without having to pressure or persuade the other to get more into it. The only way for it to be fun is if the both of you agree to take part, having constant and open communication is absolutely important, perhaps more important than the actual act. A partner must be respectful of the other’s boundaries, maintaining the agreed-to safe words and stated desires.

Sex is ultimately supposed to be fun. It’s intended to bring a couple together in an intimate way, creating a bond that will strengthen your relationship. Every part of it needs to be agreed upon, with a completely open dialogue for it to accomplish what is intended. Keeping an open mind is important, but safety and comfort even more so.