5. Do Some Self Discovery
“Sometimes getting married takes away the thrill of feeling desperately sought after,” says sex therapist Aline Zoldbrod, Ph.D., author of Sex Smart. “And it’s not uncommon for women to find that their desire goes down at this point.” To keep your libido going strong, learn about your sexuality. Figure out how and where you like to be touched and how to communicate that to your partner. “Now that the ‘chase’ is over, you need to learn your own recipe for desire and arousal,” says Zoldbrod. “Because the more pleasurable sex is for you, the more you’ll want it.”
6. Shake Things Up
“Add excitement by introducing new elements,” says Macleod, who suggests sex toys, erotica, role-playing and new positions. “If you keep sex new and interesting, it will naturally rise to the top of your priority list.”
7. Go for the Novelty
Keeping mental tabs on when, where and how you have sex can help keep the passion alive. “Ask yourself: Is it too predictable? Do you always do the same things in bed?” says Macleod. If the answer is yes, spice things up. Surprise your mate with sexy lingerie or get romantic somewhere other than the bedroom.”
8. Hang Your “Do Not Disturb Sign”
Day-to-day life can get so hectic that it’s easy to live as if you’re ships passing in the night. Romantic weekend getaways can remedy this. “Before you’re married, every weekend is romantic,” notes Macleod. “Tag on a few years of marriage, however, and intimate couple time becomes harder to find than a pair of perfectly fitting jeans.” If an out-of-town adventure is too pricey, transform your bedroom into a romantic love nest with candelight and flowers. Or else, book a night at a local hotel, B&B or campground, or make it a “stay-cation” and pitch a cozy tent in your backyard. P.S. Be sure to leave those BlackBerrys and cell phones behind!
9. Stay Healthy and Fit
“Exhaustion is the number-one reason long-term couples become less sexually active. In fact, many couples claim that it’s fatigue, more than familiarity, that most often extinguishes their libido,” says Macleod. It becomes easier just to switch off the lights and drop off to sleep. Before you know it, you’re wondering what happened to your formerly hot sex life. Ward off this all-too-common situation and give your energy level a big boost by eating a healthy diet that limits sugar and fat and contains fresh produce, lean protein and good-for-you carbs and fats. Also, make sure to exercise regularly. “As mundane as it sounds, being active during the day will give you the stamina to stay up late at night,” says Macleod. “And what’s great about being in the early years of marriage is that the healthy habits you make now will set the pace for the rest of your life together.” Many couples find that trying to schedule exercise time together helps with motivation—you can keep each other going even during those inevitable times when you both feel too tired. It’s worth it!