Why 50/50 Relationships Don’t Work

That relationship stands out to me as a perfect example of taking the “50/50” relationship to its most logical conclusion. By attempting to split everything down the middle, you take “love” out of a relationship by making love both conditional and a monetary transaction.

Love is not a business arrangement. You don’t love somebody dependent on how much they love you and how much they do for you. You love somebody because of how they make you feel and how good they are for you and your specific needs.

This isn’t to say that relationships aren’t about compromise. It isn’t to say that one should be complacent or take their partner(s) for granted. You should strive to make and keep your partner happy. Compromise includes occasionally swallowing your pride and realizing that in certain instances, your partner may help you more than you help them, and vice-versa. These are the kinds of compromises that are healthy for a relationship, and they are much different from “score-keeping.”

In addition to being better for a relationship, it’s also better for your own self-esteem, and it forces you to keep your ego in check. It allows you to let go of your pride, or whatever vague “integrity” you may hold in being “worth” your partner loving. You won’t get as hung up over arbitrary standards of what actions constitute a sufficient amount of love. Your main focus will be to love with your whole heart and try your best, and to accept that relationships are inherently unequal and that you, just like everybody else in the world, are imperfect.

It’ll allow you to believe your partner if and when they tell you that you are good enough. After all, if you both love each other, and if you are both good for each other depending on your own specific needs, your relationship can survive through almost anything, and that is more important than any arbitrary standards of a “50/50” relationship.

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Why 50/50 Relationships Don’t Work

About The Author
- Robin Tran is a standup comedian, writer, and spent most of her life living as Robert Tran. Robin graduated from UCI with an English degree after her friends and family told her to quit being a theater major because they felt that her dreams were unrealistic. In 2012, Robin began her standup comedy career (as Robert Tran) and has won several standup comedy competitions including the Westside Bar & Grill Contest in 2012 and Uncle Clyde's Comedy Contest at Flappers in Burbank. In February 2015, Robin came out as transgender and has spent several months writing about her firsthand experiences. She has also appeared on the “Racewars” podcast with Kurt Metzger and Sherrod Small to debate about the philosophies of comedy and got to say hi to Ann Coulter in the process.