HAVE PILLOW TALK
“Every night, we talk about our day at work, our concerns, our future, and pretty much anything else we want to get off our chests. It is our special moment where we are spending quality time with each other and are most relaxed.” –Felicia R.
SAY “THANKS”
“We are both career people—very busy all the time. I make time to make my husband’s lunch for work every day. He makes a point of thanking me every day, whether it be as he leaves for work or upon his return. Without ever discussing it, gratitude plays a big part in the happiness of our union. We express sincere gratitude for everything: He takes me to dinner, I always say thank you; I cook us a dinner, he always says thank you. When we express ourselves with passion, it is always magical and filled with gratitude.” –Dea S.
SPOIL EACH OTHER
“Seriously, we base our relationship on what my husband, Kevin, calls ‘mutual spoilage.’ While other couples might notice what they perceive as slights and ‘get each other back’ for them (‘He didn’t take out the garbage, so I’m not going to do the dishes!’), we compete to see who can be nicer. So if Kevin takes out the garbage, I’ll show him! I’ll fold his laundry and put it away for him! This approach—as well as always assuming that the other person is always doing his or her best—has served us well. We are more in love now than we were 22 years ago. –Mary W.
HAPPY TO SEE EACH OTHER
“Lighting up when your partner walks in the room will send positive reverberations through your relationship no matter how long you’ve been together. Be happy to see you partner, whether it’s first thing in the morning or when you walk through the door in the evening. Too many couples let the day wear them down and then ‘dump’ on their partner as soon as they see them. Your spouse is not your emotional garbage can. This might feel artificial at first, but try it. It will be infectious and will change the dynamic or your relationship.” –Tonya Lester, LCSW, couples therapist
HAPPY TO SEE EACH OTHER
“Lighting up when your partner walks in the room will send positive reverberations through your relationship no matter how long you’ve been together. Be happy to see you partner, whether it’s first thing in the morning or when you walk through the door in the evening. Too many couples let the day wear them down and then ‘dump’ on their partner as soon as they see them. Your spouse is not your emotional garbage can. This might feel artificial at first, but try it. It will be infectious and will change the dynamic or your relationship.” –Tonya Lester, LCSW, couples therapist
START THE DAY RIGHT
“My husband brings me coffee in bed in the morning. Since I work from home, I’ll often walk with him to work in the morning to get the day started together.” –Chelsea J.
TEXT SWEET NOTHINGS
“My husband is really good at texting me little love messages throughout the day. We all know little things we can do that our partners would like, so couples can engage in any of these small behaviors to influence the environment in a relationship. As a therapist, I know that too often, people want to do something grandiose and then sit back and watch to see if their spouse ‘appreciates it,’ and if they perceive that the spouse did not, they can justify not doing anything anymore. It helps more to make a list of small things your spouse would like and do those, so you aren’t keeping score all the time. Small gestures, big rewards.” –Lori Schade, PhD, licensed marriage and family therapist
Curated by Erbe
Original Article