Get the excitement back!
When love is new, everything is exciting, including making love. It’s partly why that first few months of married bliss is called the “honeymoon stage”—everything is great, wonderful, and thrilling. However, over time and throughout the years, you may feel a little less energetic about getting intimate with your better half.
Curated by Erbe
Original Source
What if you made ecstasy part of your daily spiritual practice? How would that change the richness and the quality of your life? If you want to reclaim your sexuality, and learn how to live on the ecstatic spectrum, do yoga. You don’t need to learn 450 positions; that won’t do it if you’re numb. Clearing the numbness is the first step to owning and celebrating your sexuality. Practice playing with sensating individually and with your partner, and you will have sensational sex!
Viscerally explore how to wake your skin up. Tactile sensation starts with the skin and vibrates inward. Sex isn’t just about the “sexual” organs. Involve the whole skin and body. Enjoy learning different qualities of touch and sensation — it’s essential, and fun!
Here’s a good exercise to stay connected and track feeling. Inhale, running your finger from inside of wrist to elbow, deliberately inviting in all sensations. Exhale, go back down from elbow to wrist studying, through feeling, the difference between sensating with inhale and exhale. Track what part of that you can feel. Any feeling is a win.
For a long time I couldn’t do this. I challenged myself to learn how to feel a subtle touch and enjoy that. Cats are good teachers that way, because if you pet one correctly, it purrs and feels good. Learn to touch yourself and your partner in a way that makes you both purr! If you are a dog person, when you rub your dog just right, it wriggles in ecstasy. That’s a clue you’re on the right track!
In choosing to become a whole person, I had to explore what it means to be sexual in a way I could respect. I decided to cleanse the taint of abuse and insane cultural conditioning from my sexuality and my cell tissue. As I explored this, I realized that many of us don’t know how to be sexual in a way that is healthy and authentic. I am learning, (and so can you), to put my conditioning aside and feel what it means to play with and enjoy sexual energy as a way both for sacred connection and for good, sweaty fun.
I started teaching my body how to feel pleasure, because it didn’t know how. I began to hunt my sexuality and learn how to avidly ride those energies internally, instead of shutting down around them. I began doing my practice in way that ran pleasurable energy. Wow, just ride that wave! Moving with awareness from subtle sensations all the way to a huge rush, without shutting down, was good training for sexuality. One of my quantum leaps was learning how to use my orgasm muscles in my yoga practice! That’s fun!
Whenever I sit down to write these posts, I truly never have any idea how long they will be. A title comes to me and, like a midwife, I sit down and allow myself to be used as a channel. So before you read this, scroll down and see how long it is and if you have the 5-10 minutes to read it. This one feels important, even before I begin to write the meat of it.
Lately I’ve had quite a few women come to me and express dissatisfaction with their sexuality/sex life. When they come to me, often they feel there is something wrong WITH THEM because they aren’t feeling sexual, and as I begin to work with them to help them unfurl the petals of this vital part of their feminine nature, what I am seeing over and over is fear and disconnection, brought about by a woman’s own body wisdom.
Throughout my life I have always said that the most important things I’ve ever learned I have learned through my body. Living in a world that from a very early age teaches women and girls NOT to listen to their innate body wisdom has caused a massive shut down in our ability to discern what is healthy from what may be dysfunction. We trust more what we hear outside of us, instead of what we hear from within.
So many women who feel disconnected sexually are actually in a place of awakening, as their body wisdom has taken over where the mind has failed them. In their deepest heart, they KNOW that this version of sex they are being sold is all wrong for them, but because there is no body trust for most women, it becomes depression and a subscription to the mainstream mindset that there must be something wrong with you.
Sexuality in our culture has become a lot like fast food, and just as devoid of nutrition and satisfaction. We are hungry for something that we know we are supposed to get via sex, both women and men, yet after living on junk food, we are physically sick and more in need of nutrition than ever. That nutrition is the energetic component of sex that is all but lost in the way we do sex now, and yet women’s bodies are rebelling against this, even as women’s minds subscribe to the BS that there’s something wrong with you if you don’t want sex or aren’t having it.
