Feelings of shame can be devastating to our sex lives. One of the biggest obstacles many of my clients face in experiencing erotic pleasure is the sexual shame they have carried around with them since childhood.

So what exactly is sexual shame?

Well, none of us is born with shame! This feeling about sex may have been learned from our families, friends and peers, religious or cultural backgrounds. But this shouldn’t be a surprise to us because in our culture sex unfortunately is still very much a taboo. So many religions and customs have linked sex with shame or guilt that few of us escape entirely unaffected.

Many of us may have encountered shame for the first time as children. We were taught from a very early age not to touch our genitals, the implication being it was bad to do so. We were often given silly names to refer to our penis or vagina, as if to use the correct name was somehow offensive. And if we were caught masturbating or exploring our bodies while playing childhood games, we were told off and made to feel ashamed and guilty.