3. They Don’t Harbor Resentment

There’s nothing scarier than the thought that your partner secretly resents you — and that can have an impact on your sex life. “If the relationship starts to be weighed down by resentments and other things that have been suppressed or invalidated, the sex will gradually disappear because secretly one partner is angry at the other for not being heard,” Brim says. “Making time to talk about things, even the simple things, can open up the space between your partner and you and make you suddenly aware of that super sexy person sitting right across from you that you can’t wait to make love to.”

4. They’re Active

Ugh, say it isn’t so! Brim says that couples who are active are more likely to have frequent sex. You’ll have more energy, and the release of endorphins will get you and your partner in the mood in no time. Pro tip: hit the gym together, get all sweaty, then get home for a “bonus workout.”

5. They’re Well-Rested

While exhaustion is often just a lie to cover up some larger reason why your partner isn’t in the mood, the fact still remains that being well-rested can only improve your sex life. If you and your SO lead busy lives, it can be easy for sex to fall to the backburner so things like work and kids take precedence. But skimping on sleep will only make things worse in the long run, and if you want to have sex more often, you should make time to get the rest you need to function (and to orgasm).

6. They Spice Things Up

Easier said than done, right? While you don’t have to force yourself to develop a new kink, Brim says that couples who “create sexually novel situations to keep sex interesting, surprising and fun” are more likely to have a lot of sex. Not that regular old missionary ever gets truly boring, but it can’t hurt to make an active effort to diversify your sex sessions. You might be surprised by what you learn about yourself and your desires.