A major component in many instances of this imbalance in sexual desire is media portrayal of sex. TV and film displays sex as very glamourous, appearing to happen smoothly and without any sort of awkwardness. The fact is, sex is naturally awkward. It’s weird and uncomfortable at times, especially when first becoming adjusted to a new partner. Shows like Sex and the City demonstrate this low level of realism, as most of the time the characters have perfect sex without any sort of discomfort.

More so than mainstream media, porn also dictates many people’s sexual fantasies. A lot of the time the sex portrayed is is highly unrealistic. Porn, as with all film, requires professionals to properly perform what is the most appealing to the viewer. Not to mention the amount of takes that the performers are granted. What a lot of people fail to understand as a result is that sometimes you’re in the bedroom and simply can’t accomplish a sex act. This could be for a number of reasons- positions may not be comfortable, size may not match up, or you may just not be turned on enough. And if this does happen, it is absolutely okay.

Sexual fantasies may differ between you and your partner. In fact, it may be overwhelming to discover exactly what your partner is into, whether it’s a fetish or a position or a desire to interact with another person. Take for instance the act of anal sex. A friend of mine once experimented with anal sex with her boyfriend. She initially wasn’t thrilled about the idea, but after months of persuasion she attempted it.