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Desperately Seeking A Relationship Disaster

4. Make him and his contentment more important than my own:

After all, if he’s happy, than I’m happy, right? So I’ll change and compromise and force my puzzle piece to fit around his, hoping he’ll stay, and allow me to exhaust myself trying to keep him happy and interested for a long, long time.  It’s hard work, and continuing to think of sweet things I can do to make him feel good, really benefits me, in that it takes all the time and energy I could be spending furthering my own projects, making me more and more tired and resentful, and less and less interesting, autonomous, and desirable.

5. No matter what, stick it out:

When everything inside me is telling me to run far and fast, when the voice in my head is bellowing ominously “GET OUT OF THE HOUSE”, I ignore it. When he refuses, yet again, to even discuss giving an inch, letting me know that my feelings and needs have nothing to do with our relationship, I like to stick around at all costs, like old luggage, stuck in a forgotten corner until I’m useful again. Makes me feel useful, and patient, kind and forgiving, which are all traits that are appreciated and returned by a loving partner, and exploited and used up by a selfish dick.  And that, my friends, is my type of guy…


Now, I don’t recommend you try all these tips on the first date.  I like to spread them out over a couple years, extending the misery for as long as possible.  See these tips are like barbecue sauce, the longer you let the relationship meat marinate in them, the stronger the flavor will be.  I suppose you could try the opposite, if you’re into easygoing, mutually enjoyable and beneficial connections, but where’s the fun in that?