zfortadmin, Author at Love TV - Page 12 of 50

Author: zfortadmin

Erotic Touch Roadmap to Pleasure

by zfortadminin Sex

Sexy foreplay is all in the touch!

You’re going to love this: A new study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine just revealed which parts of your body are the most sensitive to various types of touch. In other words, get ready to feel some tingles.

Researchers recruited 30 women and assessed the sensitivity of three areas of their bodies: the primary genital zone (clitoris, labia minora, vaginal margin, and anal margin), secondary sexual zone (lateral breast area, areola, neck, and nipple), and neutral zone (forearm and abdomen) using devices to simulate three different senses (light touch, pressure, and vibration). And interestingly, different spots were more sensitive to different types of touch.Romantic Couple Touching And Kissing Each Other

Here’s what they found: When it comes to a light touch, the neck, forearm, and vaginal margin were the most sensitive spots. When pressure was applied to all body parts, the clitoris and nipple came out as the most sensitive. The clitoris and nipple were also the most sensitive when it came to vibrations. But here’s an interesting twist: Overall, the secondary sexual zone was more sensitive to vibrations than either other region. So you might want to try using that vibrator on a few other spots.

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Have Pleasurable Orgasms Many Ways

by zfortadminin Sex

Talking to your girlfriends is a great way to get sexy tips!

Orgasm, how to reach it can occur either alone or with a partner. But how does the sensation — the vaginal and clitoral feelings — differ when masturbating or having sex with our boyfriends or husbands? Here the women discuss the difference between reaching orgasm via masturbation and with a partner.

Curated by Erbe
Original Source

Understanding Your Sexual Energy and Sexuality

by zfortadminin Mind, Sex

Sexuality is a nature in us, as beings of life-energy, and, like every aspect in us, this nature also requires conscious balancing to ensure that we experience, and express, sexuality in a manner that’s aligned with wisdom along with enjoyment/appreciation of the same. As I’ve mentioned in the previous posts, there are 6 natures, or dimensions of thinking, in life-energy – Love, Joy, Hatred, Fear, Boredom and Sexuality. As a being, you cannot do away with any of these natures and finding an inner balance requires you to bring an aware understanding towards each of these natures, in you, and from this understanding let go of any imbalanced resistance/suppression, or over-identification, towards them, thus allowing for a balanced expression to become the norm.

The journey towards finding conscious balance is a very “personal” journey, and every “body” brings a unique challenge, or opportunity, towards finding this balance. It doesn’t matter how mature/enlightened you are as a soul (possibly having the experience of several lifetimes) you can still find it challenging to work with a human body, in conditions of physical living with other humans, especially when the body comes with its own imbalances (acquired from a gene pool) or when it comes with some specific physical make-up that makes it challenging to function within the “fixated” views of the society.

I get several emails and comments concerning the aspect of sexuality and sexual energy, and I would like to address some common themes here; this post would be mostly focused on gaining a balanced perspective/understanding of the various nuances of sexuality and the deal of finding inner freedom, and thus finding inner balance, towards sexual expression. Finding inner freedom is the foundation towards finding inner balance – without freedom you cannot align with wisdom, and without wisdom you cannot find a balance. When you are in a “bondage”, either out of fear-based suppression or over-indulgent identification, there is no space for wisdom and you are purely motivated, and pulled around, but your “imprisonment” – it doesn’t matter what excuses you make to justify it to yourself. And, this is true for all the 6 dimensions/natures in life-energy – you can be a prisoner to love, to hatred, to fear, to sex, to boredom or to joy. Finding inner freedom from all the 6 dimensions is the pre-requisite to finding an inner balance (and thus connecting with a balanced expression/experience of these dimensions/natures).

It’s very important to understand that inner freedom is just the “foundation”, it’s not supposed to be the “end-point” – a lot of spiritual teachings confuse people into believing that finding inner freedom is the end-point of some sort, and hence propagate some ambiguous pointers on “detachment” as some ultimate goal. Inner freedom is simply a foundation towards balanced living, it gives you the required “ground” to start enjoying the expression of your nature in a balanced manner.

The subject of sexuality usually entails the following aspects of discussion – sexual orientation/preferences, sexuality combined with relationships (expressions like monogamy, polygamy, polyamory and open-relationships in general), masturbation or self-pleasure, celibacy, kinks/fetishes, spiritual sex and sexual hang-ups.

Understanding sexual orientation

There is very common tendency to mis-understand sexual preferences with “relationship orientation”. For example, being gay/homosexual is not just a sexual preference it’s a relationship-orientation in a human. It’s very common for people to mis-understand homo-sexuality with bi-sexuality mostly because both the terms contain the word “sexuality” it’s assumed that both have to do purely with sexual preference, which is not really the case. Being gay is not just about sex, it’s also about emotions, it involves your “heart” – a gay person has the make-up to fall in “love” with another person of the same sex wanting expressions like emotional bonding, marriage, family, etc, just like regular couples (“Lesbian” in the true sense is a woman who is gay). A gay man/woman would feel the same tingling emotions of love, in his/her heart, towards a person of the same-sex, just as a straight man/woman would feel towards a person of opposite sex. Bi-sexuality, on the other hand, is simply an expression of sexual exploration based on curiosity, or need for an adventure or entertainment, as a preference. Just because you have a bi-sexual encounter doesn’t make you gay.

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Power up Your Libido for Blissful Sex

by zfortadminin Sex

Great tips to naturally increase your libido for a pleasurable experience!

Low libido? How to turn yourself on and get your sex drive back in gear—no pill necessary.

My libido has never been particularly off the charts but, lately, I’ve come to feel that—due to the perpetually barren desert between my legs—I’ll never find my way out of this vast Sahara of a sex life. It’s disconcerting. It’s frustrating. But I’m not the only one.

Per ABC News, a study found that, of women between the ages of 18 to 44, about 10 percent complain about low sexual desire.

If that doesn’t make you feel any better (or at least less alone), then you should know that those low female libido levels are almost inevitable. After all, the cards are stacked against us! Your sex drive can be affected by a (huge) number of things, including stress, exhaustion, low body image, performance anxiety, depression, the medications used to treat depression, birth control pills, medical conditions such as chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia, menopause, previous sexual abuse, and… well… really inept foreplay. Who among us hasn’t experienced multiple items on that list, some of them simultaneously?

And yet, despite being innocent victims of our own bodies, we still feel guilty. Self-conscious. Weird. Yup. Even in the midst of not wanting to get it on, many of us wish desperately that we… well… wanted to get it on.

Luckily, you can turn your libido around—and you don’t need a pill to do it. By simply attempting sex more often—despite how unaroused you may be feeling—you can train yourself to want it more. That’s why sex therapists like Ian Kerner suggest that couples try to have sex at least once a week. Beyond that, however, you can trick your libido into overdrive by doing the following five things:

1. Foreplay… all day long. We’re not suggesting that you grope each other throughout the day, patting bums and grabbing boobs. Because when it comes to desire, it’s about more than just the physicality of skin on skin. That’s why it’s tough for some of us to get turned on by a quick caress of the arm, followed by a beeline toward the boobage. Rather, we need to feel desired, lusted after, and… appreciated. Make a habit of flirting throughout the day, and making those small gestures that show you care… things like folding his socks for him or picking up his favorite (sort of disgusting) snack from the supermarket. Feeling appreciated will most likely make him want to show his appreciation, too, making your days a non-stop love-fest. But either way, even the act of making these small gestures can be enough to remind you why you’re with this guy, and how much you love him.

2. Non-demand touching. Intimacy is about more than full-on intercourse, and it could be that the anxiety you’re experiencing due to the recent lack of sex has caused you to forget this. If you’re feeling so much pressure to want sex that you’re not allowing yourself to relax and enjoy the rest of it, we have a problem. Why not take sex temporarily off the table? Indulge in a no-pressure makeout session, hump the heck out of each other, or just allow yourself to relearn the way intimacy with your partner can feel. Explore each other’s bodies, using different types of touch, and communicate with each other about what feels good, and what doesn’t. All that touching and rubbing and caressing could quickly get you hot again, and at a time when you’re not expecting it, or actively seeking it out.

3. Get your heart racing. And I don’t mean between the sheets. Giving yourself an adrenaline rush spikes the brain’s natural amphetamines—dopamine and norepinephrin—thereby making you more aroused. So do something unexpected and exxxtreme together, like hang gliding or jet skiing. Or do something less exxxtreme, but still new to the two of you. Take a wine making or dance class. Go for a spontaneous drive to anywhere. Simply put: have fun together.

4. Take care of yourself. We mentioned above that things such as exhaustion and stress could adversely affect your libido. So it’s only logical that getting plenty of sleep would help it. Other stress-busters? Regular exercise. Sunshine. Laughter. A healthy diet. And—Oh! What a coincidence!—sex. If your low libido makes the idea of sex unappealing, try bringing in some outside help: sex toys, lubricant or a sexual arousal oil like the one from our partners at Zestra, who are offering YourTango readers a free sample—click on one of the ads on this page to find out how you can get yours.

5. Put it at the top of your to-do list. Finally, be sure to make sex a priority. Because it’s so easy to let it fall to the bottom of your list and, as we mentioned above, practice makes perfect. If you have to, schedule it in, just as you would any other doctor appointment or business meeting. Because it’s that important. Scheduled sex may feel contrived at first but, soon, it will be something to look forward to. And, just as with training wheels, there will come a time when you won’t need that schedule anymore. Because you’ll be bumping like bunny rabbits.

How do you get yourself in the mood?

 

Love, Lust and Science

by zfortadminin LOVE

What do you like best about falling in love?

Scientific American traces the flow of chemicals in the brain during different phases of romance and describes surprising insights from the science of attraction.

Curated by Erbe
Original Source

Have an Honest, Open Talk About Sex With Your Partner

by zfortadminin SEX TIPS

Communication is the Bridge to Hot Sex!

Sex is an important aspect of most every marriage. Your sexuality plays a major role in life. It influences how you dress, act, and interact with others around you. It’s everywhere.

Stand in line at your local grocery store and see if you can avoid seeing the word sex on a magazine cover. You’ll likely see it several times.

Talking about sex however, is possibly one of the more difficult conversations in life. Did you realize that for many people, it’s easier to talk about sex with friends than it is with your sexual partner? Why is that?

It’s tied to the anxiety these intimate subjects and acts create.

Do you remember how nervous you were during your first sexual encounter? Filled with uncertainty, the exploration of the unknown, being vulnerable with someone else, sharing new parts of yourself with another person.

After a while, the nervousness subsides, confidence increases, but routine takes over. If you’re honest, you probably have a set amount of sex routines. It’s always Sunday afternoon, must be in the dark, they do me then I do them.

I’m sure there are times when the routine is altered and the playbook is thrown out the window, but it’s likely that the new plays designed will simply replace some of the older ones.

There is nothing wrong with playbook sex, especially when both of you enjoy it. But what happens when one of you wants to alter the plays a bit?

It’s usually hard to bring up intimate subjects with those you care about. There’s a lot of risk involved with these conversations. Just because the topic is intimate and the person is someone you love, don’t back down from bringing up the things that are important to you.

When it comes to talking with your spouse about sex, here’s a few things to keep in mind.

  1. Timing is key. It’s not a good idea to bring up the subject of sex while having sex (this is different than a follow the connection talking which enhances the experience). If you want to discuss some unresolved aspect of your sexual relationship or a disappointment or frustration, during sex is not a good time for the discussion. Both of you will likely be less open and objective about the conversation. It’s also not a good idea to bring up touchy subjects at bedtime.
  2. Be honest. If you are going to address this subject, be upfront and honest. This may seem like common sense but there are many people who resort to code words or only bring things up half-way.
  3. Avoid placing blame and attacking. It’s easy to address this topic with statements like “Why do you always want to …” or “You always seem to initiate when I’m…” Anytime a person feels attacked they’ll respond defensively, it’s part of our survival nature. During personal discussions, take care of yourself. Talk about your experience, your thoughts, your feelings. While this will still impact your partner and may possibly hurt a bit, it increases the chances that you will be heard.
  4. Ask questions. Seek to hear their side of things, be clear on their perspective. This is especially good advice if you have a spouse who’s reluctant to have this conversation.
  5. Listen intently throughout the conversation. Slowing down to really listen can help keep the conversation calm, not less emotionally charge. But the less reactive you are, the more likely a good resolution will result.
  6. Fill the conversation with respect. Avoid talking down to your spouse and assuming they know what you’re thinking. Also avoid interrupting them while they’re speaking.

 

As the conversation proceeds, you should also examine and discuss these sexual styles (everyone has these styles or moods at some point):

  • Spiritual – The union of the mind, body and soul during sexual encounters together. This connection comes from your deep appreciation of being with each other and is created by being more aware of the little moments in your life.
  • Lusty – The flirty and wicked looks at one another, the quickies, and the pleasure of having sex simply for the sex.
  • Tender – The gentle, romantic, affectionate touch that involves massages, light touches, and catering to one another.
  • Funny – Teasing and laughing with each other in bed. Having fun with one another.
  • Angry – This is making love even when you’re ticked off at each other (yes it is possible). This can be reparative and healing, provided the issues you’re angry about are still addressed.
  • Fantasy – This probably needs little explanation. It’s the style of collaboration between the two of you – to create a bit of daring and experimentation. Could be role play, new positions, or risky locations.

We are designed as sexual beings, but don’t forget that one of the most sexual parts of our design – is our mind.

 

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

 

Love Rituals in Papua New Guinea

by zfortadminin LOVE

An important institution for the people of Papua New Guinea is the courting ceremonies. This ritual lasts weeks. In Papua New Guinea tribes, incest is not permitted, so they have to look for other villages’ men. Women invite men from other tribes and look for their partner. While men are allowed to take as many wives as they can support, women may only have one husband.

Curated by Erbe
Original Source

How To Reclaim Your Sexual Voice Through Orgasmic Yoga

by zfortadminin Sex1 Comment on How To Reclaim Your Sexual Voice Through Orgasmic Yoga

One of the more challenging things for many people when it comes to sex is to find out what really turns them on after having removed all of their shame and judgment. The next big step is to then state their desires aloud to themselves and to their intimate partners. It is easier said than done because it requires time, patience and dedication.

Recently, one of my sex coaching clients, Vicky, started our session by exclaiming “Holy shit. I think it’s actually revolutionary what I’m doing. I am practicing being sexual. I can now actually use the word ‘sex’ without feeling self-conscious or guilty. I am finding my sexual voice. And damn, it does take practice!”

Vicky has been practicing what is often referred to as “Orgasmic Yoga” which, in reality, is not about yoga or orgasms! It’s really just another name for developing a core erotic practice.

She has been on a 30-day practice schedule of working solo with her own body; exploring it on a physical and emotional level. Orgasmic Yoga is a pleasurable, intimate and transformative discipline that is practiced while sexually aroused. The goal is to develop or reclaim erotic capacities. Some individuals practice it to reawaken the awesome feelings in their body. Others practice it to discover those feelings for the first time.

Taking the time to participate in a mindful, planned solo erotic practice allows the individual to focus on what is substantial in their sexuality rather than what is superficial.

Vicky has also been working to identify her peak erotic experiences in order to understand what gives her authentic sexual pleasure. The desired result is to give herself the ability to better communicate her sexual needs to herself and to her partner. This takes guts, and it takes time. It can feel like a radical step to actually practice being sexual. But Vicky, like the countless women and men that I work with, have decided they really want to own their own sexuality; that it’s their time.

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Unique Romantic Surprises for Making Love Last a Lifetime

by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE

Looking for Romantic Ideas to surprise your mate? Romantic surprises are a lot of fun to organize for your sweetheart. Use the romantic ideas below as inspiration for your own creativity. Making love last a lifetime is worth the little bit of effort and ingenuity it takes to thrill your beloved with some of these romantic surprises.

  1. Hide little romantic love notes everywhere. In pockets, in wallets, in purses and in the glove box; in the fridge, under the keyboard, in the dryer and in the toolbox; in a book, in the newspaper, in a magazine and in the phone directory. Hunt around your home to discover unique hiding places. Some of your love notes might not be found for months! What fun! SURPRISE! Go to Romantic Ideas for Heartfelt Words of Love.
  2. Arrive home with their favorite take-out food. Be sure that your mate hasn’t already prepared dinner or the effect may not be so “romantic”. SURPRISE!
  3. Write a romantic love letter. Send it to them the old fashioned way, snail-mail! A romantic idea that’s been around for centuries! They will appreciate the time you took and the love pouring from the page. Need inspiration? Check out our Free Romantic Love Letters or our Romantic Love Letters to Copy. SURPRISE!
  4. For a romantic idea with a bit of drama,try a little role-playing. Decide who your “character” will be and dress the part. Do this away from one another. Arrange to rendezvous in a public place like a bar, restaurant or museum at a certain time. Pick a place where no one knows you or is unlikely to recognize you. Arrive at the meeting place early and practice being your “character”. At the meeting time, find eachother. You can keep the characters around as long as they are useful. This one is a lot of fun! SURPRISE!
  5. Do something unexpected for your partner just to make them happy. Fix something broken or spiff up the house. Be careful not to do something that makes them feel like they “should have” done it but you beat them to it! Sometimes a romantic idea doesn’t seem so romantic until you see the love and appreciation in your partner’s eyes. SURPRISE!
  6. Serenade your love with a song. If singing is not your best thing then bring a DVD player along and lip-synch. If you are brave enough to really sing, it will be a much more powerful romantic surprise idea, but do what you can… SURPRISE!
  7. Have dinner in some unexpected place like on the roof or in the barn or in the attic. Be sure to remember the candles and a nice bottle of wine… SURPRISE!
  8. Commission a romantic portrait drawn from a photograph of the two of you. This makes a wonderful personalized keepsake, , a very romantic idea. Some artists will even draw you in the setting of your choice or show you doing something fun or romantic. SURPRISE!
  9. An easy romantic idea: Deliver a nice cuppa tea or coffee to your sleepy sweetheart before they get out of bed in the morning. SURPRISE!
  10. Place a single flower (a red rose is classic) on the seat of your baby’s car before they go to work in the morning. SURPRISE!
  11. Hide romantic coupons in unexpected places. Tuck inside a CD or DVD case. Slit open food packages or boxes, slip inside and tape or reseal. The same can be done with any kind of packaging; toothpaste boxes, soap boxes or laundry detergent. Another romantic idea: Steam open a piece of mail that you know they will open and insert the coupon. (bank statement, credit card bill, tax refund check) Reseal. SURPRISE!
  12. Fill a room with helium balloons. Present them with a needle. SURPRISE!
  13. Here is a sneaky and romantic idea. Blindfold your beloved and take them on a drive. See if they can guess where you are before you let them remove the blindfold. Have a friend set up a romantic picnic in advance, with all the trimmings. “Accidently discover” it with your partner. SURPRISE!
  14. Have a limousine pick up your sweetheart at work and whisk them away for a fancy lunch and for an even sexier romantic idea, plan on making love too! SURPRISE!
  15. Buy tickets to an event that your partner really wants to see or do. Keep your romantic surprise a secret until the day of the event. If it takes place after dinner, then you can eat dinner beforehand at a restaurant and have the waiter give them the tickets when they give them the check. Or if you usually pay, the tickets can be tucked into the dessert menu…SURPRISE!
  16. Pay attention to what your partner marks or circles in a mail order catalogue. They will probably even show you what it is that they like. Here is the romantic idea: without them knowing, order what they have marked and have it sent to their work or wrap it up and give it to them yourself. SURPRISE!
  17. Sneak away from a party or family gathering and make out or even make love. Ask your sweetheart for “help to get something from the car” or “their opinion about something in the den”. You get the romantic idea! SURPRISE!
  18. A summertime (or warm climate) romantic idea. (unless you are a polar bear!)Play a game of Hide and Seek with your sweetheart. Find a hiding place that is very private. Strip. Wait for your lover to find you. SURPRISE!
  19. Most people will love this romantic idea.Conspire with your partner’s boss, to arrange a “Day Off Work” for your mate. When they arrive up at work, they will be sent home. You can take it from there… SURPRISE!
  20. When your beloved must travel for business, pack a Body Guard in their suitcase for “protection”: A small teddy bear. SURPRISE!
  21. For a relatively inexpensive and sweet romantic surprise idea:Show up at home with a fancy coffee drink or a decadent sweet. Choose something special that your loved one wouldn’t ordinarily buy for themselves. SURPRISE!
  22. This romantic idea takes a little bit of planning but is well worth it.Take your sweetheart out to dinner to a restaurant where they have never been. Plan everything in advance so that your table is ready when you arrive, the food and drinks are ordered; no waiting. You have prearranged everything. When the wine is served, they will bring a bouquet of flowers for your beloved. The note in the flowers can read something like, “To the Sweetest Love I’ve Ever Known”. When dessert is brought, the waiter will deliver a small gift with a romantic greeting card that says, “Thank you for an Enchanted Evening and a Lifetime of Love.” SURPRISE!
  23. When your sweetheart is trying on an outfit, pay for it before they leave the dressing room. SURPRISE!
  24. Show up at your partner’s work with a single red rose for them. SURPRISE!
  25. Be waiting in the bathtub when your beloved comes home from work. Offer them a glass of wine and suggest that they join you. SURPRISE! This is one of my personal favorite romantic ideas!Go to more Romantic Bath Ideas.
  26. Take your partner on a short walk. The romantic idea is to have everything set up for you while you are out. Have a friend deliver and set the table with a gourmet meal. They can even stick around for a while to serve the dinner and “wait” on you. You can offer to reciprocate with a surprise romantic evening for them and maybe they’ll even clean up… SURPRISE!
  27. For the romance readers, here is a romantic idea just for you!Order a personalized romance novel written using your names and details. The perfect romantic love story for reading out loud… SURPRISE!
  28. Here’s a romantic surprise idea that will help banish the winter weather blues.On a miserable winter day,go to the beach…at HOME! Decorate a place (basements and attics are great for this) with lounge chairs, beach towels and maybe even real sand. Buy coconuts, pineapples and mangos. Make some of those tropical rum drinks with the little umbrellas. Put on some Hawaiian hula music or reggae. Turn up the heat! (Bathing suits optional). SURPRISE!
  29. Put a blanket down on your lawn. Pretend you are on a deserted island with your mate. Don’t forget the Daiquiri’s and “Wilson”. (Like in the movie Castaway) SURPRISE!
  30. Tuck a romantic love note in a small plastic bottle and float it in the bath—under the bubbles! SURPRISE!
  31. Bake a treat like cookies, brownies or browse our free romantic recipes for other romantic ideas you can eat. Have them delivered to your sweetheart at work. SURPRISE!
  32. Fill your partner’s car to the brim with red or pink balloons. Alternatively you can fill the trunk with helium balloons. When they open it, the balloons will come streaming out. Attach a card that reads, “You Raise Me Up” or “I’m not just full of hot air when I tell you I Love You!” SURPRISE!
  33. Turn your home into a five star restaurant complete with menu, wine list, fresh flowers, candle light andromantic music. Have a delicious meal prepared and give them extra special table service. Don’t forget dessert! (and dancing?) SURPRISE!
  34. Here is an idea that I originally used with my children one Easter morning. It is excellent as a romantic surprise idea too.Make a String Maze for your mate to find a small gift or token you have made or bought for them. You will need a ball of yarn or string. If the gift is small enough, start by winding the end of the string or yarn around it. Starting at the gift, unwind it all over your house (and yard, weather permitting) over and under and all around (Sh-h-h-h-h!) until it eventually leads to your sweetheart. They must follow the string (winding it up as they go) until they get to the end and the gift. SURPRISE!
  35. Go on a helicopter tour of your area with your sweetheart. If the pilot is willing, visit your neighborhood and other romantic landmarks of your relationship. If you can get them from home and all the way to the helicopter blindfolded, then so much the better! Don’t forget the wine! SURPRISE!
  36. Here’s a particularly decadent romantic surprise idea that you and your beloved will always cherish the memory of. Reserve a room in a nice hotel in your town or a nearby town. Arrange to meet your beloved in the lobby at a certain specific time. Make sure it is after “check in”. Before they arrive, go up to your room and put a big bouquet of fresh flowers by the bed. If the hotel doesn’t have “turn down” service, you do it, complete with decadent chocolates on the pillows. Sprinkle the bed with rose petals. Put romantic music on a CD player you have brought from home. Putcandles in the bathroom and run a hot bath with sensuous bath oil or romantic aromatherapy bath salts. Have an ice bucket and a bottle of champagne chilling. Put more candles by the bed and some massage lotion. Light the candles, start the music and get down to the lobby with your bags before your sweetheart shows up. SURPRISE!

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Take Control, Initiate Sex with Your Partner

by zfortadminin Sex

You’ve heard all about the benefits of having sex—it can improve your health, help you sleep and, obviously, strengthen your relationship. And the best way to have more sex is to ask for it. But for some women, that’s easier said than done. It may be because you can’t figure out a way to get the message across, or you’re exhausted, shy or just plain out of practice, says Aline Zoldbrod, Ph.D., sex therapist and author of Sex Talk. No matter what the reason, if you’re not sure how to give your man the hint, read on for nine tips to initiate romance.

1. Put it in writing.
Sometimes, saying, “I want you, now” out loud can feel intimidating or embarrassing, especially if that kind of talk doesn’t come naturally to you, says Tammy Nelson, Ph.D., a couples and sex therapist and author of Getting the Sex You Want. But writing down your desires can help shake off your inhibitions, since you can get your point across without face-to-face contact. Pop a note in your husband’s coat pocket before you leave for work, send him an email (to his personal account!) or tap out a quick text message. What you say depends on your relationship, but, “Try to break out of your comfort zone to help build erotic anticipation,” says Dr. Nelson. Texting things like, “Can’t wait until tonight,” or “Having a naughty thought about you right now” can work to build excitement for what’s to come. Or, Dr. Nelson says, you can be more graphic than you might feel comfortable doing in person, saying something like, “Tonight, I’m getting into bed naked and will do XYZ to you…”

2. Establish an “I’m in the mood” code.

Between the two of you, come up with a word or phrase that is a secret call for sex. “Make it something that you can say in front of your kids, or even your in-laws,” says Dr. Nelson. The contrast between how ordinary the code sounds to others and what it really means to you stirs up excitement and fosters intimacy. Try something like, “Honey, can you help me balance the checkbook later?” or, “I really have a headache!”

3. Get—and stay––in the mood.

When it comes to summoning sex, getting yourself in the mood is half the battle. “You are more likely to initiate sex later if you pay attention to your own feelings first,” says Dr. Zoldbrod. Look at some erotic images, such as those in the Kama Sutra, or read a few passages from a favorite romance novel to put you in a sexual state of mind. If that’s not your speed, just spend some time thinking in detail about the last time you had sex, which will help rev your appetite. Dr. Zoldbrod also recommends going for a walk to boost endorphins, wearing lingerie to work or even thinking about your favorite celebrity crush. By reminding yourself to keep sex at the forefront of your mind all day, the positive vibes will last well until bedtime, inspiring you to make a move.

4. Send a nonverbal cue.

If verbal requests for sex are out of your comfort zone, don’t worry: non-verbal initiation can be just as powerful. Try a kiss on his neck or a little ear-nibbling while he’s on the computer or watching TV, suggests Dr. Nelson. Then escalate the gesture by stroking his arm while you’re sitting near each other. Ramping it up slowly like this serves two purposes: First, the element of surprise can boost sexual feelings; secondly, the non-verbal come-on can be unexpected, which could pave the way for spontaneous sex, says Dr. Nelson.

5. Try something new together.

Explore unknown territory as a couple, whether that means attending a free art class at your library, going to see a foreign movie or signing up for a volunteer opportunity in your community. “When couples do new things together they produce more dopamine, the feel-good brain chemical,” which will help make you feel closer, says Dr. Zoldbrod. And if you enjoyed that foreign film or art class and ended up making love when you got home? That tradition will likely catch on, so doing it after any excursion may become a delicious habit.

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How To Fall In Love With Yourself — So That Someone Else Will Too

by zfortadminin LOVE

What do you say to yourself when nobody else is looking? If you’re telling everyone that you’re the greatest thing since the iPod, but deep down inside you believe you are an eight-track player or the “chubby girl” who couldn’t catch a man with a net and a pack of hunting dogs, then you’re heading for more nights alone than a cloistered nun. You will generate the results that respond to your personal truth.

I mean it. I don’t care how polished your presentation is or how ironclad your argument; if you have a crummy personal truth, you can look like Miss Universe for all I care. If underneath it all, you believe you’re living a big lie because you’re really just an unlovable outsider who is destined to wander the planet alone, people will sense it in a heartbeat and run the other way. They will figure, “Hey, she knows herself better than anyone else, and if she thinks she’s worthless, who am I to argue? See ya!” Or maybe you’ll find some loser who doesn’t care who he’s with or who you are, just so long as he’s got somebody — anybody. That’s not what you want either. You deserve better. Trust me — there’s a world of difference between being with the one and being with someone. If you’re out there acting as if you’ll take whatever you can get because beggars can’t be choosers, you’re destined to wind up with the scraps.

When your personal truth is negative and riddled with doubts, distortions and shame, you scream that message to the world in a million and one nonverbal ways. What you believe is your “real deal” reflects itself in your body language, your facial expressions and your actions, which all conspire to contradict every word you say and the impression you strive to make.

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7 Signs You’re A Total Sex Goddess In The Sheets

by zfortadminin Sex

If you can’t keep your hands off each other, you’re probably doing something right!

It’s something every girl has wondered: am I good at sex? Sure, like kissing, much of it may have to do with compatibility—what might be hot for one guy could be just plain freaky to the next. But no matter what your guy’s preferences are, here are the 7 signs to know that you’re rocking his socks off!

1. He clenches his hands and feet.

A physical sign that a guy is in complete ecstasy is if he’s clenching his hands and feet. When you see your guy doing this, take it as a sign he’s holding on for dear life, making sure that the encounter doesn’t end prematurely. After all, what you’re doing to him at the time might be just a little too good.

2. He wants to do it again right away.

When you’ve really blown his mind, he won’t be able to get enough. Just thinking about the sex you had will be so arousing that he’ll want to do it again. So, if he seems particularly virile, pat yourself on the back sister…you’re doing something right.

3. He remains really flirty afterwards.

Another sign that he can’t stop thinking about the sex you’ve had is if he stays heavily flirty afterwards. Many guys say that after an amazing time, they’ll send multiple saucy texts to their girl to show her how into her they are. And with the extra flirting, they’re building up anticipation for next time.

4. He’s very touchy feeling through out the day.

A guy who is into you will probably be touch feely (unless he’s really shy or completely opposed to PDA of course). A sign you’re having great sex is if he becomes even more touchy feely. Quite literally, he’s so aroused, he’s having a hard time keeping his hands to himself. While flirty texts may be his verbal reminder of how much he wants you, his constant touches are his physical reminder.

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Sexual Intimacy and Its Connection with Aural Energy

by zfortadminin Mind, Sex

We have evolved both in terms of our thinking and approach towards life. The freedom to choose a sexual partner without any hesitation has also increased. But there is nothing such as casual or meaningless sex. When we get intimate with anybody we tend to receive their positivity or negativity and unknowingly incorporate it in our everyday lives.

Even if we do not meet the other person ever again, or if we do have a continuous physical intimacy with our partner, each time we get into the act, we receive a part of their energy into our aura and leave a part of ours into theirs.

So each time we have sex, we create an energy cord with our partner. Their thoughts, feelings, desires, etc., are left as impressions in our aura, which unless cleansed, stays with us. If the same is done under the influence of alcohol, we lower our natural protective field, which further exposes us to negative & discordant energies. If we have sex with a positive person, we are bound to receive her/his positivity and vice-a-versa with a negative person.

Jeffery Armstrong in his article, The Ancient Art and Science of Sexual Healing says, “..what could be accomplished by bringing the male and the female body together. The answer to this question is physical, biological, vital, mental, emotional, and spiritual. And since our bodies share characteristics with the animal realm, it is obviously possible for us to be pulled in both an upward and downward direction through our endowment of energies.”

Power behind the Act

Sexual energy is one of the most powerful form of energy available to living beings, but it is only man who has the intelligence to truly understand it. If we learn the true art of sexual healing, we can deduce a way to convert sexual energy into creative & healing energy.

Osho in his book ‘From Sex to Supeconscious’ emphasized the presence of God in the act of coitus and closeness to the divine in an orgasm. “The coupling of a man and a woman has a very deep significance: the ego evaporates in this assimilation of two human beings. A person who really understands the essence of this unity, of this longing for love and oneness, can also comprehend the meaning of yet another kind of unity – a yogi unites; an ascetic unites; a saint unites; a meditator unites. A person is also united in intercourse: his identity merges with that of the other person, and they become one.”

In spite of all these positive connections, we approach sex with indifference, guilt and shame, which devoid us from experiencing its true power.

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Female Orgasm. Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction.

by zfortadminin Sex

‘The orgasm is no longer a mere biological function used in procreation, nor the side effect of casual pleasure … it is the very centre of the human experience and ultimately determines the happiness of the human race.’ says Wilhelm Reich

Sexuality and orgasm are widely influenced by past experiences, relationships with others, the culture in which we live, combined with the biochemical reactions in our bodies.

In western culture these factors are not discussed widely or openly enough and women are left to discover and explore their own sexuality based on the idea that we should be able to reach sexual pleasure and orgasm easily and frequently.

The fact is, no two women share the same experience of desire or even the same orgasmic pattern. Misconceptions about the “right” way to have an orgasm and expectations about normal libido leave many women feeling inadequate.

Education and greater awareness of the importance of sexuality and orgasm is needed in order for there to be less confusion and uncertainty, and more pleasure and understanding.

Women from a young age should be encouraged to talk to their friends and family about their sexuality and have access to holistic information that can help them grow and learn as sexually aware women.

 

 

Curated by Erbe
Original Source