Jillian Pretzel, Author at Love TV

Original Date Ideas for a Valentine’s Day to Remember

February 1, 2019January 22, 2024 by Jillian Pretzelin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

7 date ideas to make this Valentine’s Day different

Valentine’s Day: that special time each year for couples to celebrate love and romance. It’s a beautiful day for sweethearts all across the country to show their appreciation for each other.

But there’s just one problem with the holiday: every year, we celebrate in the same way.

There’s always a nice dinner, maybe some flowers, a card with a bunch of pink hearts on it, and (hopefully) a big box of chocolates.

And don’t get me wrong, all of these things are great. Everyone loves going out for dinner. My whole week can be made with a bouquet of flowers and a few caramel-filled chocolates. And getting a card saying how special I am? Especially when it’s pink and covered in glitter? It’s the best.

But at a certain point, the holiday starts to feel a little forced, a little unoriginal, a bit… stressful. If you’ve been with your sweetie for a while, you might start to feel like you’re competing with yourself every February 14th. You try your best to top the year before but feel like you’ve run out of ideas.

If you’re new to a relationship, it’s often the same feeling, except instead of competing with yourself, you’re up against every Valentine’s day your partner has had before, and that can be just as stressful.

The problem is, we’re told what Valentine’s should be like and do our best to stick to what’s expected. For a holiday that is supposed to celebrate your relationship, a mass-produced expectation can seem pretty impersonal.

This year will be my 11th Valentine’s Day with my husband (and our first one as a married couple). I feel so lucky to have such an amazing Valentine’s date and I want our day to be special. That’s why we decided that from now on, we’re going to do things a little differently.

We sat down and made a list of extra special dates we’ve done (and loved), plus dates we’ve always wanted to do. We’ll use our list to plan for this coming Valentine’s and for many more in the future.

Below are seven of our favorite date ideas for Valentine’s (that aren’t the typical dinner date). Hopefully some of these ideas will help you and your honey break away from the expected like we did, and plan a Valentine’s to remember!

1. Take a walking ghost tour

There’s nothing more fun than acting as a tourist and learning about the little-know history of your own home town. That is—except for acting as a tourist and learning the little-known history about ghosts in your own home town.

A good ghost tour will guide you (and a small group) on a walking tour around local parks and neighborhoods. The tour guide will point out some old houses and historical sights, and of course, tell you about the local criminal history (and rumored paranormal activity) that occurred there.

I know you might be thinking that scary things should be a “no-no” on Valentine’s Day, but think of this date as a two-for-one. You and your honey will enjoy the romance of a evening stroll while also getting the benefits of an it’s-a-scary-movie-hold-me-close date as you listen to the spooky tales.

My husband and I did this once in the city we live in, once on vacation, and we can’t wait to do another one. We’re absolutely determined to find all the ghost tours in our county.

2. Second first date

While past Valentine’s Days may blend together, your first date probably stands out. Whether it was a super romantic evening, or if something embarrassing happened, you and your honey probably look back on it fondly.

This Valentine’s, try recreating your first date. You could go out to the same restaurant (or same type of restaurant) you went to that first time, and try to order the same thing. Whether it was a fancy sit down place or a Taco Bell doesn’t matter, in fact, you might find that the sillier the place, the better.

If your first date was seeing a movie, you could rent the film you saw together in theatres. If your first date was ice skating, you could slip those skates back on. You could even go through your closet to find the same outfit you wore that special night (bonus points if your first date was at a costume party).

Get creative. Re-create your memories in the truest (or funniest) way possible.

Then, sometime during the evening, talk about your first date and how far you’ve come since then. Even if you’ve only been dating for a few months, this is a great time to think back on your favorite milestones and best moments together.

As a momento, you might even write out a list of your favorite dates or memories together and save the list to look at next Valentine’s Day.

3. Laugh together at a comedy show

So many couples think that Valentine’s should be about serious romance: fancy clothes, expensive dinners, tall candles… but Valentine’s can be the perfect opportunity to simply share a laugh.

My husband and I love going to stand-up shows because they’re different every night and they always leave us laughing all the way home. We keep an eye out for when our favorite comedians come to town and we always have fun looking forward to our night out.

Look up the events calendar for your local comedy club and see what’s scheduled. Sometimes clubs even have special Valentine’s events or deals.

Just remember that if you haven’t seen a comedian before, give them a good YouTube check to make sure they match your, and your date’s, sense of humor.

4. Go glamping

While my husband loves camping, I love hot showers, so we don’t spend a lot of time in the great outdoors. However, a glamping trip can be the perfect Valentine’s date.

Look online to find some great local glamping sites or, if you have a backyard, make your own. You could rent a tent and fill it with blankets, pillows, a bottle of wine, and maybe even a cheese plate.

You can spend the evening snuggling and looking at the stars.

5. Take a fitness class

You might be thinking that exercise sounds more like a chore than a date, but I’ve learned that taking a fitness class can be a whole lot of fun, especially when you’re with your partner.

My husband and I love taking workout classes because it’s something healthy we can do together—and we always have a ton of fun doing it. This is no different on Valentine’s.

This Valentine’s, consider signing up for a fitness class you’ve never done before. You might consider goat yoga (or whatever crazy yoga variation you can find), paddleboarding, a ballroom dance class, trapeze class, or kickboxing.

All those endorphins (not to mention the boost of pheromones) are sure to make your Valentine’s extra fun.

6. Volunteer

Not many people think to volunteer on Valentine’s day, but it can be a great date for any couple. You can pick a cause that means a lot to both of you (maybe you both love animals or are really passionate about helping the elderly) and pick a charity together.

You could help walk dogs at the local animal shelter, help to plant trees, clean up trash at the beach, read to the sick or elderly, and so much more.

You’ll get to work together to do something meaningful, and not only will it make you feel good to help your community, but it will probably make you and your partner feel closer.

7. Plan a group excursion

When we think of Valentine’s, we always think of a romantic evening alone… the keyword being “alone.”

But there’s no rule saying it has to be just the two of you. In fact, you might have even more fun if you plan a double (or group) date.

You could put together a group bonfire night (complete with s’mores) or a bowling competition. You could invite your couple friends to go on a Valentine’s morning hike or head to the local zoo.

Think of it this way: your friends and family are a part of you too, and in some ways, a part of who you are as a couple. Celebrate together for an extra special holiday and a Valentine’s Day to remember.

No matter how you choose to celebrate, whether you borrow a few of these ideas, or have a few other ones up your sleeve, remember that the most important important thing is to show your partner how much you care, to celebrate your love, and (of course) have a ton of fun.

Financial Questions to Ask Your Partner at Different Stages of Your Relationship

March 5, 2019January 22, 2024 by Jillian Pretzelin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Financial questions to ask your partner at every stage of your relationship

It’s no secret that money can cause tension in a relationship. Couples clash on spending, debt, and financial philosophies all the time. That’s why it’s important to talk about finances with your partner often and make sure you’re on the same page.

The only problem is that talking about money can be stressful for a lot of people.

Some might be embarrassed about their finances and have a hard time opening up. Others might think that talking about money is unpleasant, so might avoid the tough questions.

While leaving some things to the financial imagination is okay at the beginning of a relationship, as you start to get more serious with a partner, it’s important to know their financial background (and spending habits) and it’s important that they know yours too. Together, you’ll create a good foundation for understanding and be able to help each other reach financial goals.

To help start the conversation, here are some questions you should ask your partner, and yourself, at each stage of your relationship.

1. Just dating: What do you like to spend money on?

Everyone has at least one hobby or interest that they probably spend a little too much on.

For me, it’s education. I will drop serious cash on classes and books and conferences to hear certain speakers. I love learning new things and I know that if I have some extra spending money, I’ll have no problem spending it there. For some people, their “thing” is getting detailed tattoos or going to concerts. Others are really into makeup or video games and like to spend their cash on getting the latest and greatest.

It’s important to know, early in your relationship, what thing (or things) the person you’re dating likes to spend money on.

Understanding your partner’s habits will give you an expectation so you’re not blindsided when he or she keeps dropping hundreds of dollars on model airplanes or fine wines. It won’t feel like financial irresponsibility so much as a investment in one of your partner’s interests and financial priorities.

Plus, if you find you have the same interests as your partner, it could give you an opportunity to bond.

I have one friend who loves dogs (and even has four pups at home). She’s never been afraid to spend money on her pets and has been known to drop hundreds (or thousands) on outfits for them, groomings, teeth cleanings, and even special dog foods. Recently, she met a guy who loves dogs just as much as she does and she was so glad to find that he understood the idea of spending a good chunk of change on a fuzzy friend’s care and well-being. It helped the two get to know each other and create a bond early.

Side note: if you’re thinking this might be an awkward question to ask on a first or second date, don’t worry, because you probably won’t have to actually ask. Usually, the answer will be pretty clear a couple dates in. If, for example, you notice your date wears a lot of designer clothes or talks about parts for their car a lot, you’ve probably got your answer.

2. New relationship: Is money important to you?

On some level, money is important to everyone. At the bare minimum, we need enough to pay the bills and buy groceries, but to some of us that’s where it ends.

Some people work just enough to be able to get by and they enjoy the freedom that comes with having just a few bucks in their bank account. Meanwhile, other people can’t stand to live paycheck to paycheck. They only feel secure when they have a heafy savings account to fall back on and panic if they don’t have at least 20k squirreled away somewhere.

Many more are somewhere in the middle: they know that making money will allow them to do things they like and they value that. They work hard at saving but aren’t afraid of a little spending either.

When you’ve been dating someone for a little while, it’s important to know how they handle money—and how that compares to your habits. Someone who is fast to spend might drive a “super saver” crazy. However, two savers together will likely fill their time with work and never spend their earnings on the fun things they deserve.

The key is to find someone who isn’t too different from you in regards to money habits, but isn’t too similar either.

For example, I probably spend a little bit more than I should—but I don’t mind spending money on a day trip or a nice dinner out if I know the experience will be special. Meanwhile, my husband is a little more frugal. He hunts for deals and is a little more hesitant before buying something he really wants. But in the end, we even each other out. He helps remind me of good saving habits and I make sure he knows when it’s okay to spend money on something really great.

3. Getting serious: Do you have any debt?

This can be a bit of a sensitive subject for some people so you should usually save the debt talk until you’re comfortable in your relationship.

The truth is that, these days, most young adults have at least some debt. They might have student debt or credit card debt, but just because someone has some extra bills to pay doesn’t mean they’re financially irresponsible.

In fact, maybe it’s a hint that they actually are good with their finances. For example, maybe your boyfriend or girlfriend needed a new car, and instead of dropping all their rent money on a fancy new set of wheels, they started making manageable payments on a sensible car.

Debt itself isn’t always a red flag. But when someone keeps spending outside their means on things that they don’t need, it can be. When someone buys a house they can’t pay a mortgage for or they rack up credit card debt with no idea of how to pay it off, that’s when it’s a problem.

When my husband and I were really getting serious, we were both lucky to not have a lot of debt. I had a mortgage and was on track to pay off grad school, while he just had some car payments. None of our debt was overwhelming and we were glad to see each other handling debt so well. We were able to talk about our plans for the future while getting to understand each other’s financial responsibilities better.

Of course, it’s easier to talk about debt if you only have a little bit of it, but even if you have a lot and bills are piling up, don’t be afraid to talk about it with your partner. The best thing you can do is make sure you talk about your debts and your plans for paying them off. As long as you’re patient with each other, and there are no secrets, you should be able to work through it.

4. Thinking about marriage: What are your long-term financial priorities?

When you get to the point in your relationship when you start thinking about marriage, you should also be talking about your long-term priorities.

When my husband and I talked about this just before we got engaged, we discussed setting aside money for travel, saving up for a bigger home, and building up our savings account before having kids. We were lucky to find that we had a lot of the same priorities.

But not every couple is so like-minded.

For example, couples who meet later in life might have other financial commitments. Maybe one person already owns their dream home, maybe the other is focused on putting their kids through college. You might not have the same exact goals as your partner, and that’s okay.

However, it’s important to know what both of your priorities are and how you’re going to work together to achieve those goals.

5. Engaged: How do you envision our banking situation after marriage?

In the olden days, married couples had one bank account that they shared. It was simple and a lot of people still enjoy this method today. However, many prefer to handle their money in a different way.

Some couples think it’s really important to have completely separate finances and to pay for things like rent and utilities 50/50. Others might like to have one large, shared account for the bills as well as two smaller individual accounts as well.

There are tons of ways to handle your finances and there’s no wrong answer to how you plan on handling your money. However, you must make sure you and your partner can agree on a method. Some like to have a little privacy on their spending (because who really cares if you spent $30 on a salad if you’re still on budget for the week?) while other couples want that full disclosure to keep each other on track. If you don’t agree on a method together, you might have to compromise or get creative.

When my husband and I got married, we combined everything and decided to simply talk to each other before spending a large amount. We’re good communicators and not big spenders, so it works great for us.

One of our couple friends has a system where they put 75% of their income into one account for their joint bills and 25% into their own separate checking accounts. They like being able to have the joint account to make bill payments easy but they also like having the smaller accounts to make sure they’re not going over budget.

Know that every couple will have a different financial situation for different reasons. It’s important to communicate with your partner and decide what’s going to work best for you.

6. Married: What do we expect each other to spend… and on what?

Once you’re married, you might have to be more involved in each other’s finances. After all, you’re legally bound to any debt your partner may accrue. But, know that since you get to be involved in your spouse’s finances, your spouse might want to have more of a say on your spending as well.

Of course, this can be challenging. When you’re single, you get to spend money on whatever you want, but once you’re married you need to work more as a team.

Consider setting a family budget by talking about how much each of you should aim to spend every day/week/month. Account for necessities (such as groceries and gas) as well as fun things (like dinners out and gifts).

My husband and I like to talk about spending on a case-by-case basis. We decided early on that if we were going to spend over $200 on something, we’d talk to each other about it first. Of course this amount will probably change as the years pass and we get more established in our careers, but we like the idea of checking in before spending a lot of money.

However, lots of couples keep their finances in check in other ways. One couple I know likes to set monthly budgets for shopping and date nights out. They give themselves just a couple hundred dollars each month for new clothes or dinners at restaurants. If they spend their whole “date night budget” in one night, they eat at home for the rest of the month. If they spend their “shopping budget” on just a few items, they don’t buy new clothes or accessories until the next month.

Of course, you’ll have to start by talking about your existing habits before you make a spending plan together. So, grab your bank statements and sit down with your partner. Talk about what you usually buy, how much your usually spend, and how you can improve your spending habits to reach any financial goals you may have.

While finances can be a touchy subject in any relationship, it’s important to communicate about money. If you can use these 6 questions to kickstart the conversation with your partner, you’ll feel more secure in your finances and in your relationship.

7 Sweet Anniversary Traditions You Can Do Every Year

March 30, 2019January 22, 2024 by Jillian Pretzelin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Whether it be your 1st or a 50th, anniversaries are important to your relationship. It’s a milestone for your time together and an opportunity to celebrate your love.

But, planning an annual celebration (and even finding the right anniversary gift) can sometimes be difficult. My husband and I just came up on our ten year dating anniversary and while we love celebrating our relationship, over the years, we’ve found that planning anniversary celebrations has always been a bit stressful.

And lots of couples, in various stages of their relationships, feel the same way.

If you’re new to a relationship, you might not know what your partner expects and worry that whatever you do will be too little, or maybe too much. If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you might be struggling to think of a gift you haven’t already given your partner in anniversaries past.

To fix this celebration conundrum, we started asking other couples what they do for their anniversaries. We found that the best ideas were the ones that repeat and build off of each other: anniversary celebrations that feel more like traditions. They let you enjoy your milstone without the unneeded stress of thinking of an original gift or date idea.

So, to help you celebrate your love, here are 7 great anniversary ideas that you can do every year. These anniversary dates (and gifts) are meant to be enjoyed over and over again so you can look forward to these celebrations for many years to come.

1. Fun photo shoot

My husband and I have been together for a long time, so of course we have a ton of photos of the two of us: candids taken by friends and lots of selfies.

But it wasn’t until a couple years ago, when we started talking about getting engagement photos done, that we ever considered getting professional photos taken. Between our engagement session, and subsequent wedding pictures, we suddenly had all of these beautiful photos to celebrate us, and I loved it.

When my husband and I reached our ten year anniversary, my sister-in-law gave us the idea to do a photoshoot to celebrate this milestone—and I loved the idea. She and her family take photos every year with their kids and we thought it might be fun to start a photo tradition of our own.

I asked a friend to be our photographer and the three of us walked to a nearby park and had a great time taking pictures together. Later, my husband and I loved looking through the photos and picking which ones to frame. We had such a good time that we decided to make a point to do a little photo shoot (or at least make sure to take a nice picture together) every year.

If you’re interested in taking photos every anniversary, there’s some great inspiration online for photo projects couples have done every year together, such as taking a picture with a printed photo from the year before or holding a balloon for every year they’ve been together. It’s a great tradition and down the road you’ll have a collection of pictures you’ll treasure.

Side Note: While some couples might want to go all out and embrace this photo shoot idea with a new wardrobe, getting their hair done, hiring a dream photographer, and heading to a fabulous destination… it’s also okay to make this a little low-key. My husband and I wanted to keep costs down so we grabbed a friend who was a photographer, picked cute outfits from our closet, and just took photos in the neighborhood. Costs were low but the photos were still great!

2. Scrapbook of anniversaries

While I’m so excited to document my anniversaries in photos, one friend of mine (and her husband) take this idea to the next level with a scrapbook of memories.

While it might be fun to take photos every year, you’ll also want a way to display your memories. Of course, you won’t have room for all your photos on your walls (especially after a few years), so why not start a tradition of a photo book? Each anniversary you could make one scrapbook page with a few anniversary pictures (or even photos of your favorite moments from the year) and add it to your scrapbook. You might even include ticket stubs or other little momentos.

If you want to take it up a notch even more, my friend likes to display their most recent page in a frame until their next anniversary. She likes getting to see it all year, then when she’s done with the next scrapbook page, adding it to the book and make room for another page to put on the wall.

These scrapbook pages can either be a sweet present you give your honey every year, or an activity you do together.

3. Make an anniversary cake

I’m really big on desserts so you can imagine my excitement when I found out that the bakery that made our wedding cake gives customers a free “anniversary cake” for couple’s one year of marriage. This sounded amazing: we wouldn’t have to worry about the tradition of freezing a piece of cake and then digging through dried-out frosting on our anniversary. We’d get to celebrate with a fresh, delicious cake made just for us.

But it got me thinking… who says cake is just a “first anniversary” tradition? And who says you have to be married to celebrate with something sweet? It got me thinking that this could be a great idea for an anniversary tradition, even beyond our first wedding anniversary.

If you’re looking for a fun (and thrifty) activity to celebrate your anniversary every year, make a tradition of baking a cake together. Every year you can come up with a fun design and get together in the kitchen to do your best impression of Cake Boss. You can start from scratch or buy a mix, then practice your piping skills or simply decorate with sprinkles. It’s a sweet (pun intended) anniversary tradition that you both will love!

4. Re-create a special day

Your anniversary is all about celebrating your love and making great memories together. So why not celebrate by re-creating a special day in your love story? I have a co-worker who goes out with her husband every year to the same restaurant where they had their first date and she loves their tradition. She thinks it’s so fun to remember the beginning of their relationship and recognize how far they’ve come as a couple.

But, you don’t necessarily have to recreate your first date to enjoy the same effects, re-creating any special day, like the day when you first said “I love you” or the day one of you proposed could be more special to you and your partner. Go ice skating like you did that day, or eat tons of Chinese food and watch Bob’s Burgers like you did that one special evening. The date itself doesn’t have to be fancy for it to be special to you.

One day that is really special to my husband and I is the day after our wedding. (Of course, our wedding was pretty great too, but we were looking for something easier to recreate.) That day, woke up in a fancy beach hotel, ordered waffles from room service, went for a walk along the beach, and finished off the night at dinner. Even back then we decided that we should come back the year after and enjoy a meal at one of the restaurants at the hotel and walk along the beach to remember how special we felt that day- and that’s just what we plan to do!

Whatever special day you choose, you can make it a great tradition: celebrating that special moment every year so you never forget how wonderful your memories are.

5. A weekend get-away

While a special date can be the perfect way to celebrate your love, a mini get-away might be more your speed. I have a cousin who works a lot and says he simply doesn’t get to spend enough quality time with his wife. They’re both so busy, so when their anniversary comes around they like to go all-out and plan a weekend get-away.

While my cousin and his wife love going to the same beachy city for their annual get-away, you might want to change it up every year. Think about places that are special to you and what you want to do while you’re there. Do you need a weekend of R&R? Or do you love bonding over water sports and hiking?

Of course, your trip doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive: maybe it’s an annual camping trip, maybe it’s a quick visit to the big city or a mini vacation in the next city over. Then again, maybe you do want to go all out for those big anniversaries, splurging for the all-inclusive weekend complete with the “upgraded view” in your hotel room and visits to fancy restaurants.

Whatever you decide to do, it’s great to have a mini vacation to get to relax and spend time together. It’s a trip you could plan for every anniversary and look forward to all year long.

6. Love letters

While a weekend get-away might sound nice, not everyone has the time or money to plan a trip every year.

I have one friend from grad school who admits that while paying off student loans, he wasn’t always able to plan dates for his girlfriend or get her a grand gift for their anniversary. Instead, they decided to start writing each other love letters and their sweet tradition stuck. He says they love writing each other letters for their anniversary and even though it’s so easy to do, the letters mean so much to both of them.

Their tradition is a good reminder that no matter how big or small you celebrate your anniversary, it’s important to take the time to tell each other how much you mean to each other, and what better way to do that than to put it in an old fashioned, romantic love letter? It’s probably the best anniversary gift to give (and get) and it requires very little time and money to do it. You might even consider making this a tradition and keeping all your letters to each other in a special book to look back on in years to come.

7. Try something new together every year

Wait a second, you’re probably saying, didn’t you say this list would help me celebrate anniversaries in a way that I won’t have to think of something new every year?

Of course it can be hard to think of romantic dates and sweet gifts every year, but when it comes to thinking of something you’ve never done in general… for most of us, that’s pretty easy.

One of the best things about being in a relationship is having someone to experience new things with. Why not make a tradition out of trying new things?

Every year you can plan to try something that’s new to both of you. Maybe neither of you have tried skiing or have never gone skinny dipping. Maybe you’ve never seen all the Godfather movies or have gone to the Grand Canyon. Every year you’ll do something new together, treat yourself to new experiences, and make yourself a more well-rounded couple.

No matter what you decide to do for your anniversary, remember to always have a ton of fun and take this time to appreciate each other. Every anniversary is an accomplishment and a milestone, so celebrate your love as best you can.

Simple Yoga Poses to Do With Your Partner

May 10, 2019January 22, 2024 by Jillian Pretzelin Body, Wellness

Recently, my husband and I have been trying to exercise together more. We love the bonding time and it’s fun to get to challenge each other. We run on treadmills next to each other, take fitness classes, and even lift weights.

But perhaps our favorite exercise to do together is yoga.

I’ve always loved yoga. It helps to relax my mind and strengthen my body at once, but now that I’m doing it with my husband, I’ve found a whole other side of it. There’s something so special about sitting together in a pose, quieting our minds together and even helping each other find the right stretch.

While we love taking yoga classes, we also love practicing easy poses in the mornings and in the evenings after work. These poses make us feel physically ready before we start the day and help us relax before heading to bed. Plus, it gives us some quality time to focus on each other.

We might not be the most experienced, strongest, or most flexible yogis in the world, but we feel so connected and refreshed when we take the time to do just a few simple poses.

Here are 7 great (and simple) couple poses that you and your partner can do at home too.

Partner Seated Spinal Twist

Lots of people forget to stretch their back but it feels so good to give your spine a twist after a long day of sitting in the office. It’s even more fun when you get to do it with your partner.

For this pose, you’ll start by sitting back to back in a cross-legged position. Both of you will reach back with your right hands and place it on your partner’s left thigh. Then, put your left hands on your own right knees. Once you’re in position, practice breathing together, lengthening your spine on the inhale and twisting on the exhale. When you feel you’ve twisted as far as you can go, switch sides and twist the other way.

Simple Partner Camel

The traditional Camel Pose can give you a great backwards stretch, but it can be a little challenging for new yogis. There’s a little bit of balance involved and it requires a fair amount of flexibility. This partner version will give you the same back stretch and you might find it to be a little easier.

Sit back to back again. This time you can sit criss-crossed or in the “butterfly” position with the soles of your feet touching and your knees out. Take a few breaths as you focus on strengthening your back, pushing against each other. Coordinate so that one of you leans backward as the other bends forward. The one who is bending forward can reach their hands out in front of them to get a good stretch (this is also good for stabilization). Move slowly, breathing as you go, and communicate so neither of you are ever uncomfortable. When you’re ready, switch.

Seated Cat Cow

You might have seen or done a traditional Cat Cow Pose before, where the yogi goes on their hands and knees and switches between an arched back and a rounded back.

With the couple’s version of this pose, you get that same stretch but with the added benefit of your partner’s support. You’ll sit cross-legged facing each other. Grab each other’s forearms and practice good posture by pulling your shoulders back and down. Inhale as you look up, allowing your back to arch a little and your head to go back as far as feels comfortable. When you exhale, bring your chin to your chest and round your back, bringing your gaze to your tummy. Move slowly and repeat this motion for as long as feels good to you both.

Seated Bound Angle

This one is a great stretch for your legs.

Sit facing your partner with a nice, tall spine. Decide who will go first and who will go second. Have “Partner One” bring the soles of their feet together in butterfly while partner two extends their legs forward so that the soles of “Partner Two’s” feet touch partner one’s shins. (Note: those legs do not have to be completely straight. If you aren’t very flexible, you might want to keep a slight bend in your knees to protect your hamstrings.) Next, grab each other’s forearms. Partner Two will gently pull Partner One forward so that they fold over their legs, using their shins for leverage. Make sure you are communicating and listening to each other as you breath. The one bending forward should try to lean into the stretch on the exhale but should never go farther than is comfortable.

When Partner One feels they are done, switch positions.

Back to Back Shoulder Stretch

This stretch is great for giving your shoulders a little stretch, and can help both you and your partner with your posture!

For this stretch, the two of you will stand back to back and extend your arms into a “T” position. Interlace your fingers with your palms touching and pick a partner to go first. Gently, the first person should bring their hands just a little bit forward, pulling on their partner’s hands to create a stretch across their chest and shoulders. Then, you’ll switch. Communicate to ensure your partner’s comfort. This pose can give you a deep stretch so be careful not to move too quickly.

Back to Back Chair

Sometimes doing yoga together is just as much an exercise in communicating and working together just as it is a physical activity. The Back to Back Chair Pose is one of those. You’ve probably seen the non-couple version of this pose before, often done against a wall. When done correctly, it looks like someone is sitting in an invisible chair. For this version, instead of using a wall, you’ll use your partner.

Just as with the last pose, you’re going to start this one back to back. So, stand firmly against one another. Communicate as you slowly take small steps forward. Stop when you find your knees at a 90 degree angle. Your backs will still be pushing up against each other and your feet will planted in the ground, but you’ll be in a mirrored sitting position, supporting each other.

Old this pose for as long as you can, taking breaks when you need them.

Partner Boat Pose

This pose can be a little challenging for new yogis but if you’re ready for a balance and flexibility challenge, this one can be a lot of fun.

First, you’ll sit facing each other with feet on the ground and knees bent in front of you. Reach forward and hold hands outside of the knees. You should be just far enough away to not be able to bend your arms to reach your partner’s hands. If you’re sitting too close or too far, adjust.

You might want to sit in this spot for a few breaths to center yourself and find your balance. When you are both ready, lift one foot each (of corresponding legs) and touch your feet sole to sole. Strengthen those legs upward. Do the same with the other legs so that each of your legs are touching each other. If you look at yourselves in a mirror, you should look like the letter “A” with your legs forming the two sides and your arms as the horizontal line in the middle.

Be sure to engage your core and don’t forget to breath.

Hopefully you and your partner have lots of fun with these poses. You might even end up getting hooked and practicing yoga every day together. Not only will you get to improve your flexibility (and maybe get a little stress relief) but you’ll be able to spend that quality time with your honey—which makes it all the more wonderful.

7 Science-Approved Ways to Make a Good First Impression on Your Date

May 21, 2019January 22, 2024 by Jillian Pretzelin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

2018 study found that people form an opinion about someone in just 27 seconds. And boy, does that sound harsh. You’ve barely finished saying “how do you do,” when already, you’re judging each other? Yikes.

Now, of course, this study isn’t saying that it only takes 27 seconds to get to know a person. That would be ridiculous. We’ve all seen enough rom coms and teen flicks to know that sometimes, longtime enemies become friends, and vice versa. First impressions are not always right and it takes way longer than 27 seconds to judge someone’s character.

But in the dating world, sometimes all you have is a first impression.

Think about it: the way modern dating works, first impressions are everything. If you’re on a dating app, you swipe right or left based on an image and a short bio. That’s a 27-second decision if I ever saw one… and that’s if you’re really taking your time.

If you meet up for a blind date and you’re not immediately charmed by your sister’s-friend’s-cousin’s-barber in the time it takes to sip a latte, you’ll probably never call back.

Generally, there isn’t a second chance.

We’re not in one of those rom coms where the cute stranger sits next to you in chemistry every day and eventually, you start to understand his/her charm. This also isn’t a Jane Austen novel where, apparently, there are only about seven eligible men in the town and you and Mr. Darcy keep bumping into each other at parties.

In real life, when a first impression isn’t good, you don’t waste your time. You look for love elsewhere.

On one hand, this quick decision-making is probably a good thing. You know who you’re attracted to and what kind of person you want to date. A strong first impression (especially if it’s negative) can save you a lot of time. Then again, if you’re the kind of person who doesn’t make a good first impression, you could be missing out on love.

While that 2018 study gave us all kinds of anxiety about quick judgements, luckily, the study also gave us a cheat sheet so we know what makes the biggest impression in that first 27 seconds.

Here are seven things to focus on in order to make a good impression for your next date.

Staying humble

62 percent of those surveyed reported that strangers who acted arrogantly made a bad first impression on them.

Surprise surprise.

We didn’t exactly need a study to tell us that no one likes spending time with an arrogant person… especially on a date. There’s nothing worse than a dinner date where the person across from you only talks about how awesome they are from appetizers to dessert.

Of course, sometimes after a particularly good day at work, we all might get the urge to brag now and then. But if you’re looking to make a good impression, and maybe even land a relationship, it’s important to show your modest side, especially on that first date.

Sure, you can mention your achievements (especially if your date asks), but try to stay humble. It’s okay to show off the great things about you, but remember that your goal should really be to learn about your date—and find out if you two have a connection.

Smiling

Audrey Hepburn once said, “Happy girls are the prettiest” (and that goes for gentlemen too). A smile can be your best friend when it comes to first impressions: it makes your face look warm and friendly. It brightens your eyes and makes people feel more comfortable with you, plus, 53 percent of people said it contributed to a good first impression.

Of course, don’t try too hard and end up with a forced smile (a creepy grin held for too long will probably have your date calling for an Uber). Still, remember the power of your pearly whites.

To enhance my smile, I like to use an at-home teeth whitener. It’s cheap, easy, and if my teeth are looking a little yellow one day, I can get myself looking like the star of a toothpaste commercial—fast. But, if you really want to invest in your teeth, lots of people go professional and get their teeth whitened at the dentist’s office.

Also, before you go out, put on some lip gloss (or chapstick) to bring attention to your lips. Your grin will surely make your date smile too!

Being polite

Don’t you hate it when you’re at dinner with someone and he or she doesn’t say “please” or “thank you” to the waitstaff? Do you cringe when a date burps and doesn’t say “excuse me?”

Apparently a lot of people are bothered by bad manners, as the survey found that 53 percent reported that politeness contributed to making a good impression.

Of course, if you’re not the kind of person who keeps your pinky out or puts your napkin on your lap, don’t feel like you need to do an Emily Gilmore impression and follow every point of etiquette for the benefit of your date. Who knows, maybe your perfect match has the same habits as you, and asking for a salad fork might freak them out.

Still, it’s important to be polite, which means being kind and courteous. The rule is simple: be nice and your date will probably like you more.

Making eye contact

49 percent of those surveyed found that eye contact was very important to that first impression. This, of course, comes as no surprise.

Making eye contact means that you’re focused on that person, you’re talking directly to them or listening intently. Eye contact can be intimate, meaningful, and powerful. Failing to meet someone’s gaze can make you seem standoffish, cold, or disinterested.

Keep in mind though, too much hardcore eye contact can be intimidating, so don’t over do it. Make eye contact, but give your gaze a break, too. Sometimes looking away coyly can be flirty. When you’re telling a story or making gestures, it’s okay to look up or around a bit. Plus, if you’re on a dinner date, you should glance down at your food every so often too. After all, you’ll both have to look away at some point if you want to make sure you get your meal to your mouth, and not on your lap.

Dressing to impress

While personality is much more important than looks, when it comes to first impressions, it’s hard to not judge appearance. It might not be fair to judge a book by it’s cover… but sometimes we just can’t help it. Appearance is one of the easiest thing to judge quickly, and as this study shows, people put a good amount of focus on looks: a whopping 49 percent of people were put off by poor clothing choices.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you need to wear a ball gown or start buying designer everything (in fact, for some people, brand names and too much focus on appearance could be a turnoff) but it’s still important to make yourself presentable. Know which colors look good on you, pick out clothes that fit well, make sure that everything you wear is clean and unwrinkled.

Personally, I’m guilty of some sloppy dressing. I wear jeans and jackets too many times in a row without washing them, and am always embarrassed when I find a ketchup stain on my sweater from the day before. I’m also terrible at finding clothes that “go together” and often find myself texting photos of outfits to friends to get their opinion.

If you’re like me and have trouble with style, you might consider putting together a few good-looking outfits to wear on first dates ahead of time. Remember that if you look good, you’re more likely to leave a great impression.

Being a good listener

Wait, what?

Just kidding. Of course you should be a good listener! In fact, the study found that 48% of people think it’s an important attribute when making a first impression. You might be thinking that there won’t be much to listen to within just 27 seconds of meeting, but there’s nothing worse than introducing yourself to someone, saying something pleasant or making a joke, and realizing that they weren’t paying attention to what you were saying.

Whenever I meet someone new, even if I only talk to them for a few minutes, I try to remember something about them. It might be that their birthday is coming up or that they’re planning to go camping. Then, when I see them next, I ask them about that thing I remembered.

It makes people feel good, knowing that someone cared to remember something about them, and it’s always nice to feel like you’re being listened to. Doing this on dates will let your partner know that you’re truly interested in getting to know them.

Smelling good

Say sorry to your Tinder profile for me, because any work you do to make corrections in this category won’t matter there. Still, this will be a big one when you two love birds finally meet in person. As it turns out, 46 percent of people really care about how someone smells and are turned off by someone with a stench.

But don’t take this as permission to lather on the cologne or spritz perfume high and low. A heavy, artificial aroma can be just as bad as B.O.

Your best bet is just to bathe regularly, use deodorant, and pop a mint every so often.

It’s also important to mention that some strong reactions to body odor could be due to pheromones, and if this is the case, there might not be much you can do to help it. If someone smells bad to you, this might be a sign that your immune systems are less suited for healthy reproduction (Smithsonian). I know, I know, this might not be the sexiest thing to talk about on a first date… but it’s science.

You may only have 27 seconds to make a good first impression, but now that you know which features to focus on, you’re sure to rock that first date from the moment you walk in the door. One great first impression can turn into a fabulous first date, and perhaps, the start of a future together.

6 Important Questions to Ask Before You Have Kids Together

June 14, 2019January 22, 2024 by Jillian Pretzelin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Lots of couples dream of starting a family together. For many, it’s an ultimate #relationshipgoal. But what if you and your partner have differing opinions when it comes to raising your future family?

Maybe your partner is hoping for a way bigger, or way smaller, family than the one you’re dreaming of. Maybe he or she has a different philosophy regarding discipline or has unconventional ideas when it comes to your kids’ education.

This can be stressful because different ideas of child-rearing can mean big conflicts down the line. It can spark arguments about setting boundaries, deciding which activities your children should do, which of you should take on which parenting responsibilities, and more.

And while these differences can cause some disagreements, you don’t want them to put a strain on your relationship. You want to feel supported by each other, especially as you prepare to grow your family. One great way to do that, is to communicate.

My husband and I have talked about having kids for a long time, and now, we’re slowly preparing ourselves for parenthood. As part of our process, we set out asking people we know, who already have kids, which questions they asked their partner before starting a family—and which questions they wished they’d asked.

What we got was a list that’s perfect for a couple wanting to get on the same page before raising children. It’s also a great conversation starter for those trying to decide if they’re with the person they want to start a family with.

So, if you’ve got kids on the mind, or are wondering how you and your partner would do as parents, these questions will help you get the conversation going. Here are 6 important questions to ask yourself, and your partner, before deciding to have kids.

1. How many?

For such a simple question, this can be a hard one to answer. In part because, over time, your ideal number can change.

Perhaps you start out thinking you want a big family of six or seven, but once you have your first, you might decide that one is enough. On the other hand, you might set out wanting one, love the experience, and decide that you want more.

This happened to one of my co-workers. She and her husband wanted one or two, but they loved the experience so much, that they ended up with four. She said that if they hadn’t talked about it and planned it out financially, they wouldn’t have been able to find the perfect number for them.

She said that the “how many do we want?” question was an important one to ask before starting their family—and still just as important after they started having kids.

Keep in mind that this might also be a good opportunity to talk about fertility issues. Talk about what you might do if you have trouble getting pregnant. You might consider adoption, IVF, and even surrogacy. It’s important to have all your bases covered, and figure out what feels right to you both, just in case.

2. Who’s going to do what?

If you ever feel overwhelmed with chores before having kids, multiply that feeling by a thousand.

You’d think that something as small as a football couldn’t do that much damage, but it’s amazing what a baby can do to your laundry, your floors, bathrooms, dishes, and more. Oh, and if you aren’t already busy enough cleaning everything, the baby needs constant attention too.

And things don’t get easier as your bundles of joy grow up. They still need to be cared for, but they also need to be driven places: to school and friends’ houses and piano lessons. They need help with their homework and cupcakes for bake sales. Yikes.

You have to ask yourself (and your partner) who’s going to do take on these tasks.

This question was really important to a friend of mine. When she and an old boyfriend started talking about having kids, she found out that her boyfriend had a very traditional parenting style in mind: he’d work and she’d stay home with the kids. She hated this idea.

Her career was always important to her and she wasn’t going to leave her job. She said that, learning how some people still value traditional gender roles was enlightening, and this helped her realize what she really needed in a relationship. Eventually, she found the right partner for her and now they share parenting responsibilities pretty equally.

Of course, not all couples can delegate between the two of them and many parents need help with the workload. That’s why it’s also important to discuss how you feel about hiring outside help for childcare and other household duties. Hiring a nanny or housekeeper can help a lot, but there are costs to consider. If the expense is a problem, ask if you’d both feel comfortable enlisting some support from family. Remember to consider the non-baby specific chores too, like: who will make dinner? Who will go to the grocery store?

Having kids will be a lot of work, but if you start talking about responsibilities early, you’ll be more prepared when the time comes.

3. What do you want to stay the same?

They say that everything changes after having kids, but does that mean everything, everything? Of course not.

Lots of things will change (and hopefully for the better) but if there are parts of your life you want to keep the same, plan ahead. Talk to each other about how to work your favorite aspects of your pre-baby life into your post-baby world.

That’s exactly what my cousin and his wife did before they had their son.

Before having their toddler, my cousin loved going to soccer games and his wife loved going to yoga class. So, it was important to them both that they make time to go to occasional soccer games/yoga classes—even as new parents. He says that when he and his wife make time to do something just for them, it makes them both happier, and in turn, makes them better parents and partners.

It’s proof that self-care is important.

Maybe the things you want to keep doing are easy to put on a calendar: like a monthly book club meeting or tennis games. Write it down and plan ahead with babysitters.

But what if your goals are a little less tangible? Maybe you’re just hoping to keep the passion in your relationship or maybe you want to stay in shape. A broader objective might take a little more work, but setting small goals can definitely help along the way.

Just remember that, of course, you can’t keep everything the same. Sometimes people are disappointed when they become parents and realize they can’t go back to school right away or can’t easily move across the country for a job.

Keep in mind that having kids can mean making big changes and sacrifices—but with some communication and preparation, it’s okay to try to keep some things the same.

4. How do you see your relationship with your child?

While your relationship with your partner is important, the relationship between you and your child should be a priority too. Talk to each other about how you picture your relationship with your children when they’re kids, when they’re teenagers, and when they’re adults.

My friend and her wife talked about this before having kids. She said it was helpful because it forced them to look to the future and ask themselves what sort of goals they had for family dynamics, parent-child communication, and discipline. They knew that they both had very different relationships with their parents but were happy to find that they had similar goals when it came to raising their own kids.

However, not everyone does. Talk about how you both see your relationship with your children and how they’re similar (or different).

5. What did you like about your childhood? What would you do differently?

When you look back on your childhood, you might remember a lot of great things your parents did for you: from jolly holiday traditions to fun family football games. But there are probably at least a few things you didn’t love as much: from small things like too-strict curfews to bigger issues like limited affection.

But, just because you’ve lived and learned from your parents, doesn’t mean your partner has come to the same conclusions. Maybe you look back on your “no TV after dinner” rule as too harsh, but your partner sees the same regulation as a parenting necessity.

When one of my co-workers and her husband asked each other this question, they found out that they had very different ideas when it came to whether or not to raise their kids with religion. It took them a long time to find a compromise they were both happy with, but eventually they figured it out.

Choosing to adopt or ignore things your parents did can feel very personal, so these choices can be extra difficult to find a solution to. You have a personal connection to how much you loved or hated something in your childhood and this can make decision-making particularly emotional.

The best thing is to keep these discussions as relaxed as possible and be patient with each other. Make lists of what you loved and didn’t love about your own childhood and set aside time to talk about them calmly. If there are some conflicts you run into, try to see if you can meet in the middle, if there are some points you’re not sure about, set them aside and come back to them. The important thing is to feel like you’re in this parenting thing together and that you can support each other in everything—even if it’s not a decision you favored.

6. How do you feel about counseling?

No matter how prepared you are before having a little one, taking care of a baby and raising a child is stressful and can put a strain on your relationship. Having a child will change both of your lives forever, and you both need to be ready to grow with that change.

My friend from college said one of the important things he and his husband talked about before adopting their baby was how willing they were to go to couples counseling if they needed it down the road. They knew that raising a child would be stressful and they wanted to be prepared if the pressure paid a toll on their relationship.

It’s an important topic to cover because some people are hesitant to get counseling at all. While many people enjoy the benefits of therapy, some couples have a hard time signing up for sessions because they’re afraid to admit when they need help.

Talk about your feelings when it comes to counseling. Maybe you’ve already done some counseling and think it’s a great idea to work on issues when a professional every so often. Maybe you’re new to the idea and are a little afraid of what it means. No matter what, remember that you and your family deserve to keep your relationship strong, even when things get difficult. Talk about what it would mean to see a counselor and be sure you’re both able to accept help when needed.

Parents know that there are so many things things to do—and so much to talk about—before welcoming a little one into the world. These six questions will likely be just the beginning of your journey to parenthood, but hopefully these points will start some good discussions while you and your partner begin growing your perfect family together.

8 Fun Ideas for A Romantic Couple Photoshoot

July 26, 2019January 22, 2024 by Jillian Pretzelin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

You’re scrolling through Instagram and come across a photo of a friend and their significant other. They’re holding hands, looking so in love, with the ocean in the background—and the lighting is perfect.

You might wonder how they got such a great photo, you might even envy it. Maybe you get the idea that you and your partner should go out and take some photos too.

In this age of social media, when it’s so easy to show off photos of your loved ones, it’s nice to have a few good pictures of you and your honey. Maybe you want a cute shot to post for Valentine’s or you want some really nice engagement pictures. Maybe you want photos to celebrate your anniversary or you just want some nice pictures to remember this time in your lives.

If you’re ready to dust off your camera and organize a couple photo shoot, consider these 8 themes to make your photo session even sweeter.

1. Visit the location of your first date

For your first date you might have gone to a special restaurant, a movie theater, or maybe you two just went to the dog park with your pups. No matter where you went during that first hangout, you probably feel some special connection to that spot. Why not use it as a photo location? Think of all the cute photos you could take recreating that first coffee date or driving go-carts together like you did way back when.

Of course, if you don’t feel a special connection to the place you had your first date, or if it would be too hard to travel there, this idea could be applied to any location that’s special for you two, such as the place you met, or where you got married, or where you first kissed.

When it was time for my husband and I to take engagement photos, we decided to have our photographer take pictures of us at our old high school, which is where we met and spent much of our time together early in our relationship. It was fun walking around our old school and thinking back on our time there—and the memories made our pictures even more special.

2. Get back to nature

Photographers can build beautiful sets and put up fabulous backdrops, but there’s nothing quite like the beauty of nature. From fields of wildflowers, to mountains, to the ocean: nature can be the perfect spot for your romantic shoot.

The best part is, no matter what part of the world you’re in, you’re probably not far from a great natural background. You might not be close enough to the coast to take pictures on the beach, but if you’re near green forested areas, take advantage of it. If you find yourself in the dessert, use the golden sand and open landscape for glamorous wide shots.

One great tip is to find a spot that has different natural features. You don’t want to take all your photos in front of the one beautiful tree, you’ll want to use different backgrounds to give your photos a good variety.

When my sister-in-law took maternity photos, she picked a location by the beach that she knew would give her a few different looks. She and her husband took some photos by the water, some by rock formations on the sand, and a few on a grassy field nearby. With each location they were able to change the feel of their photos, plus, they took the change in scenery as an opportunity to change their clothes and use different props.

3. Take a trip to the fair

While some think romantic photoshoots should be filled with soft colors and long, meaningful looks, sometimes it’s better to show a more playful side. If you’re looking for a fun, vibrant shoot, consider having photos taken at the state fair or a theme park. You can take pictures walking through fun houses or playing fair games. You could pose for photos as you ride the merry-go-round or take candids in the petting zoo.

I knew a couple who had an impromptu photoshoot at the fair. A friend with a photography class assignment met the couple at the state fairgrounds and took out her camera whenever she saw a cute moment. They ended up with a ton of beautiful ferris wheel photos and photographs of sweet moments eating snacks.

While the location made for a fun theme, what really made the photos special was the fact that they were all having a blast that day. If you’re having fun when you’re taking pictures, it’s sure to show up in your photos.

4. Include your pets

If you’re going to take photos together, why not include everyone in the family? Of course, I’m talking about your pets. Adding a dog or cat (or even your pet snake) adds another layer to the photoshoot.

My cousin and his wife are all about their dogs so they decided to include them in a pregnancy announcement photo shoot. They got the dogs little signs to hang around their necks and posed with them in front of their house. The photos were a hit.

Consider making a photo shoot out of a walk with your dog or plan to gather your pets in your living room for a quick half hour of picture-taking. Heck, maybe you’ll go all out and get matching human-pet sweaters.

Of course, you should prepare for excited pets and possible “accidents” but including your animals is worth the trouble and will make the photos all that much more special.

5. Themed for the season

Seasonal photos have been in style for a long time: families posed by the Christmas tree or gathered in a JCPenny studio wearing their holiday sweaters. But, you don’t have to save your portraits for just that one time of year.

When planning a photo shoot, think about the time of year and use it to your advantage. If it’s fall, embrace the crisp air by putting on some brown and orange sweaters and take pictures with the changing leaves. In spring, consider a flowery theme by getting yourself a flower crown and taking photos in a field of grass. Summer time? Plan a silly shoot by the pool, complete with swim suits, colorful sunglasses, and drinks with tiny umbrellas.

I know one couple who planned a wedding photo session six months after they got married so they could have photos in their wedding location, but in a different season. While they enjoyed a summer wedding with lots of bright flowers and colors, their winter anniversary photos had a whole different flavor. The bride got herself a bouquet made of red and white roses and they snuggled up in warm winter accessories.

6. Recreate old photos of yourselves

While taking new photos is fun, you and your sweetie probably treasure older photos too. For a fun photoshoot, find some of your favorite photos together, perhaps some from when you were first dating, and recreate the photo.

Maybe you have a picture of the two of you at a costume party or a candid picture a friend took on the night you met. Play with the idea of wearing the same clothes (especially if the look is so outdated it’s funny or if you’re recreating a past Halloween). Also, think about going to the same spot the original photo was taken. It might be fun to see what that place looks like now.

I have one friend who takes a photo with her husband every year in the same spot at their old college, wearing the same university sweaters. It’s a sweet tradition and each year the photo they take is even more special than the last.

7. Recreate scenes from your favorite movies

While recreating your old photos is super sweet, it can be just as exciting to have a photoshoot inspired by famous scenes from movies or TV shows. It can make for a fun, and usually silly, photo shoot you’ll both love.

Pick a movie that’s important to the two of you, or that you always watch together, and consider dressing like your favorite characters and play the part yourselves. Your photos can be lightly inspired or you can go for accuracy with your costumes and makeup. Either way, you’re sure to have a lot of fun with it.

I know one couple who dressed up as Juno and Bleeker for a cheeky pregnancy announcement. Another couple I know dressed as their favorite movie couples for a series of engagement photos. Both couples had a great time taking the pictures and their photos ended up looking amazing.

8. Take photos at home

Pictures capture a moment in time, and what better way to capture your relationship, and your season in life, by capturing your home as well?

For photos you’ll love to look back at, take some pictures in front of your house or on your doorstep together. If your home’s exterior isn’t especially photogenic (or if you’re in an apartment), consider posing for photos on your couch or sitting on your stairs. It will let you capture cute pictures of the two of you, and help you create a memory of where you live and what your life is like at this point in time.

When my husband and I moved into our first condo, we decided to celebrate by taking pictures in our new home. We didn’t do anything fancy, just made sure we were both wearing something nice and set a timer on our camera. Still, we loved taking photos in our new home, on the steps leading up to our door, and even on the patio. It made for one of the best early memories we have in that condo.

Taking photos with your sweetie is sure to be a fun and memorable experience. And when it’s done, you’ll have some sweet photos to look back on. Hopefully these eight ideas will help you capture amazing photos you and your honey will love.

How to Focus on Friendships This Holiday Season

December 13, 2019January 22, 2024 by Jillian Pretzelin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

The holidays should be about family and friends.

There is so much to do during the holiday seasons. There’s family to see, presents to buy, work to catch up on, events to go to. Sometimes friends get forgotten when you have so much more going on. You forget to call, tell each other you don’t have time to go out for a coffee or a drink just now, and before you know it, it’s mid-January and you haven’t seen any friends for months.

But maybe your friends don’t have to take a back seat during the holiday season. There are ways to not only include your friends this season, but to make sure they feel like they’re apart of your holiday fun!

How to Focus on Friendships This Holiday Season

There’s so much to do during the holidays: There’s family to visit, gifts to buy, and events to attend.

You might be rushing to clean up the house before family comes over or maybe you’re speeding to pack your bags in preparation to go head home for the holidays. But no matter your plans, this season can get busy.

With so much going on, it’s not uncommon to find friendships taking a back seat in December.

You and your bestie may forget to call each other, you might miss your friend group’s usual coffee date, and before you know it, it’s mid-January before you realize that you haven’t seen any of your friends for a long time.

But maybe you don’t have to forget about your friendships this year. This season, make a point to focus on your friendships with these 4 tips and tricks for a friends-filled holiday.

1. Show them you care, with some gifts!

I know, I know, you already have so many people on your shopping list. You’re probably already panicking about what to get your grandma, what to get your baby cousin, and what on earth to get your boss.

But even if it’s something small and silly, like a funny t-shirt or a scented candle, a gift that says “I’ve been thinking of you” can go a long way for a friend. Of course, you probably don’t even have to work hard on this gift. Picking something out on Amazon or ordering some cookies online is pretty painless. Plus, you can usually find a good deal while online shopping.

Just remember: the more personal you can get with a gift, the better. Your friends probably don’t need anything fancy or expensive from you, but they’d probably love something that reminds them of you, or an inside joke you share.

To help with your shopping, here are some fun (and simple) present ideas that make for wonderful friend gifts:

-A bottle of wine you think they’ll love

-An order of fruit, chocolate covered fruit, or cookies from online retailers like Harry and David or Mrs. Fields

-A hat or scarf in a color they look good in

-Drop off a pie or cheesecake on their doorstep

-A gift card to get a manicure (with a note saying you’ll plan to do your nails next time you’re together)

-A book or movie you loved (that you can talk about next time you hang out)

-A cute planner for 2020

-A holiday puzzle (you can even get a personalized puzzle with a photo of you two on it!)

-Silly socks featuring their favorite animal

2. Set aside time… ahead of time.

Making time for friends shows them that you care about them. It proves that, not only do you like seeing them, but that spending time with them is a priority to you.

But making time for friends in the middle of the holidays can be a tricky business. For me, it’s already difficult to plan hangouts during the non-holiday seasons. Between my work schedule, their work schedule, and miscellaneous commitments to worry about, it’s tough to set aside time. So, when you throw in extra holiday errands and family events? It can be tough.

The best way I’ve found to make time for friends is to set up a hangout date, weeks in advance, at an event that’s extra special and really can’t be moved. Think late-night movie premier or special live holiday show.

If you’re like me, it can be easy to ask a friend for a rain check if you only make loose plans to meet up for something like happy hour “one day this week.” But if you set aside time for a special event, buy the tickets ahead of time, and put it on your calendar weeks (or a month) before, you’ll both probably stick to the plan.

3. Do holiday chores together.

Sometimes, you simply can’t set aside extra time for friends during the holidays. The idea of making time to see a movie? Impossible. Going out to dinner? Nope.

But you don’t necessarily have to carve out exclusive “friend time” in order to see your besties. Instead, team up with your buddies to get your holiday chores done together.

Meet up at the mall to shop together. Chit-chat as you wait in long lines. Help each other figure out what to get your parents or significant others. Try on Christmas sweaters and tell each other, honestly, if they look okay. As a reward, maybe you can sit down together for a drink once the shopping is done.

If you’re not crazy about the idea of shopping together, consider inviting friends over to your place on Christmas Eve to make pies (or appetizers) that you can bring to each of your family’s homes the next day. It takes about the same amount of time to make two or three batches as it does one—but baking together makes it twice as fun.

Or, if baking isn’t your thing, you could just meet up to wrap presents.

One of my besties and I love to meet up before Christmas and wrap presents together. We drink wine and eat cookies as we wrap, and over the years, it’s become one of my favorite holiday activities!

4. Involve friends in your traditions.

Another great way to include friends in the holidays is to make at least one of your traditions friend-friendly.

One option is to can make a tradition especially for your friend group. “Friendsgiving” is such a hit, you might consider organizing something like that (perhaps a little present exchange or ice skate party) in December. Or, if that’s too much work, you could always include friends in your existing family traditions.

You could slide some more chairs up to the table for Christmas brunch—or why not invite some friends over for some spin the dreidel?

Of course, you might be thinking this is probably easier said than done.

You might assume that your friends probably have their own plans with their own families—so why would they want to join in on yours? The truth is, you might be surprised at how many of your friends don’t live near family, or if they do, have low-key family gatherings at holidays. You might even have friends who do their “big” celebrations on different days.

I once went to a friend’s house for “Christmas Eve-Eve” which was a big thing in her family. All the cousins, extended family, and friends would get together for a big potluck. For them, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were small and pretty quiet, but December 23rd was more about neighbors and friends. It was a great tradition.

The holidays are all about spending time with the people you love—and that should mean your family and friends. While your season may be busy, these tips can help you rearrange and refocus to find some extra room for your friends this holiday.

New Relationship? Take This Quiz to See If You’re Ready to Spend the Holidays with Your Significant Other

December 23, 2019January 22, 2024 by Jillian Pretzelin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

With the holidays fast approaching, you’re probably wondering if you and your new honey are ready to spend the season together. But going to your partner’s family home over the holidays can be a big deal.

Not only is there the stress of getting to know your partner’s whole family, but there’s the added pressure of what it means to take this momentous step. For some, bringing a partner to their home for the holidays is a way of saying you’re “serious,” some might even see it as a sort of pre-engagement. It’s a big deal.

So, how do you know if you’re ready?

Answer the questions below to find out if you should spend the holidays with your sweetie.

1. Do you see yourself spending the next year together?

It’s a simple question, but at the same time, not so simple. There’s no relationship crystal ball. You can’t know for sure if you’re going to be together in a year, six months, or even a month from now. Especially in new relationships, it’s hard to anticipate what will happen next.

But two things you can track is how you feel and what your intentions are. Start asking yourself how the relationship has been going so far. Have you seen any red flags? Or has everything been smooth sailing? Do you want to be with this person in the long term, or do you see it as just a fling?

Just because a relationship is new doesn’t mean it isn’t serious. If you find yourself wanting to be together 6 months from now, or even a year from now, go ahead and spend the holidays together. You might even end up feeling closer over the holiday season, and bonding even more.

If, on the other hand, your not sure if you see each other together in the coming months, if things are already rocky and you’re not sure if this person is a potential for, say, marriage—maybe skip it. Spending time with a partner’s family probably isn’t going to make a relationship better, so don’t waste your (or your partner’s) time.

2. Do you talk about your families all the time, but haven’t met them?

For some people, family is a big deal.

Have you noticed your partner talks about family often? Does he or she mention the crazy things their sister does or the sweet things their dad used to do when they were growing up? Do they look forward to visits with their nieces and nephews?

If this sounds like your partner (or even if it sounds like you!) meeting the family might be a bigger deal than you think.

If family is a big deal to one, or both of you, meeting the family may be a make-or-break scenario. Some people consider it a “deal breaker” if their family doesn’t like, or get along with, a partner. While this certainly isn’t the case with everyone (I once had a friend who more or less stopped talking to his entire family because they were rude to his wife) if your partner really cares about their family’s opinion, it could affect your relationship.

If this is the case, meeting the family (and seeing how you get along) is probably a good thing to do sooner rather than later.

3. Do you want to move forward in your relationship?

Maybe you, or your partner, aren’t particularly close with your families. Maybe you’ve been out on your own for a while and whether or not your family “approves” of your partner isn’t that big of a deal to you. And yet, meeting family over the holiday might still be a big deal to both of you.

Meeting family doesn’t have to be a big to-do or have underpinnings of a “test.” Spending time with family doesn’t have to be about whether or not the family likes a new partner. Sometimes, it’s just about you two, and wanting to show each other that you’re serious about your relationship.

Going to a partner’s house for the holidays can be a big step, and being willing to do that together can mean a lot to some couples.

Of course, spending the holidays together shouldn’t be a way to “prove” your commitment, and agreeing to go to Christmas at your partner’s family home doesn’t take the place of having that good old fashion “where are we?” talk. But spending the holidays together, and with each other’s families, can be a good way to show each other that you’re really taking the relationship seriously.

4. Do you want to go for it?

Perhaps you simply want to go to your partner’s family home for the holidays.

Spending time together doesn’t have to have an ulterior motive—like moving forward in a relationship. Maybe you want your relationship to stay the same. Maybe you just don’t have anywhere else to go for the holidays. Or maybe you simply think it would be fun.

While some couples think spending the holidays together is a big step, it doesn’t have to be a big deal. Talk about it beforehand, and if you both seem like you’re on the same page, go for it. Even if you’re not thinking your relationship is very “serious” now, maybe you two have the makings for something more. No matter what, wanting to spend time with your partner is a good sign.

On the other hand, it’s when you’re feeling a sense of dread about going to his or her home for the holidays, that you have to look out for.

If your partner asked you if you to come over for the holidays, and your immediate reaction was panic, you may want to consider the possibility that this may not be the right relationship for you.

Whether you’re hoping to take your relationship to the next level this season, or are just hoping for great company over the holidays, spending time with your new partner’s family can be fun and exciting. But before you pack your bags, make sure you’re ready for this big step.

Great Ways to Celebrate New Years Eve (For Just the Two of You)

December 30, 2019January 22, 2024 by Jillian Pretzelin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

New Year’s Eve is one of my favorite holidays. There’s no presents to shop for, no big family commitments, just silly fun and a celebration of good times past and present. It’s perfect!

But New Year’s is especially fun if you have someone special to spend it with. Not only do you have someone to kiss at midnight (which can be an awkward moment otherwise) but you also have the opportunity to celebrate the new year in a different way.

While going out to a New Year’s party can be loads of fun, there’s a different kind of joy in ringing in the new year in a smaller way: just you and your sweetie.

Here are some fun New Year’s Eve date ideas that you and your partner will love.

1. Become your own bartender

One thing I love about New Year’s parties is that there are always fun and festive drinks. There are so many creative cocktails around this time of year, from egg nog to “peppermintinis,” to my favorite: “jingle juice.” And that doesn’t stop on new years. You can always find colorful cocktails and a fun new take on the classic glass of champagne.

But my favorite part isn’t necessarily drinking these fun cocktails—I also love mixing them too!

Back when my husband and I were dating, we started making a tradition of spending New Year’s Eve at home and mixing cocktails. I’d find a few fun recipes online and we’d spend the evening mixing drinks and making boozy cupcakes as we watched movies.

It was a great way for two early twenty-somethings to expand our taste buds with exotic drinks and save some money on bar tabs.

2. Make a romantic dinner for two

Lots of people go out to dinner for New Year’s because it’s a fun, mature alternative to going to a house party. But one of my favorite ways to celebrate with my husband is actually making dinner at home.

To be honest, I’ve always worried about going out on New Year’s. On New Year’s, there are so many people out on the road at all hours, possibly drinking and driving, so while I always love going out to dinner, a few years ago my husband and I started a tradition of making a romantic dinner at home on New Year’s Eve.

While we’d been mixing cocktails at home in the years prior, we realized that New Year’s was the perfect night to go all out with a fancy dinner. We switched out our cocktail recipe tradition for cook books, and started making December 31st about an amazing date night in.

Thanksgiving and Christmas are known for big meals with family, but this can be a special time for just you. I love making lasagna, but you two could make whatever your favorite dinner is, or use this as an excuse to try something brand new.

It’s fun to cook together and even more fun to eat dinner by candlelight, just the two of you.

You can even watch the ball drop as you eat some late night dessert!

3. See a movie

Just because you and your honey want to celebrate New Year’s alone, doesn’t mean you have to stay home.

I know a couple who love going out on New Year’s Eve—but they don’t go to parties, they go out to the movies. They got the idea from another family who went to the movies every year on Christmas Eve, and they wanted to do the same for New Year’s.

They pick a movie and see a late showing, and by the time they get out, it’s just about time to countdown to the new year. They have so much fun having a night out, and while everyone else is out at parties, they love having the theater nearly to themselves.

4. Make a time capsule

One thing I love about New Year’s is that it’s a great opportunity to look back on everything my husband and I have done over the last year.

To celebrate the year, we like to make a time capsule on New Years Eve. We collect photos, ticket stubs, notes (and more) and put them in a shoebox to look at next year. Then we look at the box we created the year before.

Time capsules don’t have to be big or fancy, they could just be a collection of a couple momentos and maybe a list of your favorite memories together from the year. But whether you go minimal or all out, it’s a great opportunity to spend time with your sweetie and talk about all the great memories you’ve made together..

New Years is a great time to celebrate the past, future, and time with your honey. This year, try one of these fun ideas, and who knows, maybe you’ll end up making a new tradition for years to come!

New Year’s Resolutions for Better Friendships in 2020

January 7, 2020January 22, 2024 by Jillian Pretzelin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

I love New Year’s resolutions. They’re an excuse to challenge myself and set new goals for the year ahead. I’m pretty serious about sticking to them, too. I like to write my goals for the year on a piece of paper and tape it to the fridge so that I always remember my plans, and can cross them out as I accomplish them.

Usually, I make goals for my career, exercise goals, and plans for how many books I want to read that year. But this year my goals are a little different.

After a big move this year, I realized that friendships are really important to me. Not only do I miss my friends back home, but I had to make all new friends in my new city. I learned how important friendships are to me, so this year I’m making resolutions to be a better friend and have better friendships.

Here are my resolutions for better friendships in 2020.

1. Set aside time for friendships

To have better friendships, you have to be a better friend. And part of that is making friendships a priority.

Being in a relationship for so long, I’ve found that I often put friendships on the backburner, preferring to spend time with my husband rather than make plans with friends.

But I realize that I need to maintain friendships in order to keep them. When you don’t make time for a friend, they can start to fade out of your life. You both forget to call, don’t think to invite each other over, one of you moves, and suddenly you don’t know each other anymore. It’s the worst.

Of course, there are exceptions to this. I have some friends who I can not see for years and when we do finally get together, it’s like no time has passed. But especially with new friends, if you don’t spend time developing a friendship, the relationship can crumble.

One of my biggest resolutions this year is to make more time for friends. For me, making time to go out to dinner with just one friend, one time a week, is a great improvement. But maybe you’re more flexible and can make more time for friends.

Maybe your resolution could be calling 5 different friends a week. Or maybe you want to go to lunch with someone new from your office every day until you’ve met everyone. It’s easy to cater this resolution to your friend goals and no matter how you do it, you’re sure to have lots of fun.

2. Remember birthdays

One way to show your friends you care is to remember their birthdays. And I’m not just talking about about posting on their Facebook wall.

It means so much to people when you remember their birthday. It shows that you care and that you want to celebrate them. When my friends have reached out to me before my birthday, asking if I wanted to go out for a drink for my special day, it has meant so much to me. Even when friends follow through and show up for birthday celebrations means a lot.

That’s why one goal I’m making this year is to remember my friends’ birthdays. I’m looking up everyone’s birthdays and writing them down in my calendar. I’ll try to make sure we make time to celebrate but even if I just end up sending a card or even a text to friends for their birthdays, I know that it will probably mean a lot.

3. Planning activities your friends will like

I love planning hang outs with friends. But I especially love planning hang outs at places I love.

I’m always asking friends if they want to go to the local wine bar or go and see a comedy show. But somehow I never seem to be free when friends ask me to do things they like to do. I almost always turn down requests to go to restaurants I don’t like and for activities I don’t particularly enjoy. Funny how that works.

But this year, I’m changing that.

I’m making a goal to try to do more things that my friends like. When I know I’m going to see my craft-loving friend, I’ll offer to go to a knitting class and when I’m planning to see my outdoorsie friend, I’ll ask her to go on a hike.

It’s a great way to show that I value our friendship (and my friend’s interests), plus, it’s a good way to expand my own interests.

4. Double date

Hanging out with friends is a great way to bond. But going out on a double date? That’s a whole new level. It’s one thing to talk to your friend, but a whole other thing to get to know their partner (whether they be short term partners or long term relationships), and let your friends get to know who you’re with.

It can be a great way to get to know each other better, and if your partners get along too, it could be a great way to expand your friendship to include “couple activities.”

5. Be a great conversationalist

It’s so fun to talk to friends, except when it’s not. I’ve definitely had friends who were not always super fun to talk to. I know a few people who always seem to be complaining about work or complaining about other friends. I also know a few people who practically zone out when I’m talking. They’re the kind of people who wait to talk, instead of listen.

And don’t get me wrong, I can complain about stupid stuff and I can also sound like a broken record when talking about work. But it’s nice to talk to friends about interesting things, intellectually stimulating things, and to have fun when we’re talking.

So, this year I’m determined to be a better conversationalist. I’ll keep myself updated on interesting news stories, but I’ll also try to be more engaging and be a better listener.

If you’re looking to make better friendships in 2020, sometimes you have to be a better friend. These tips will help you to improve your friendships skills and friendships in the new year!