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5 Reasons to Have a Summer Fling

by Jennifer Ashley Greenein DATING ADVICE, LOVE

Summer lovin’ had me a blast. Summer lovin’ happened so fast.

I know, technically it’s still spring, but let’s be realistic, people are solidifying their Memorial Day Weekend plans and then all of a sudden it’s summer and if we don’t start thinking about it now, we’ll be ill prepared when everyone else is all geared up (and paired up) for those steamier days (and nights!) So back to summer love I go! What’s the appeal of a relationship that only lasts three months? What’s the point? This is how I answered my friend recently when she asked me if I’d ever have a “fling”. Admittedly, I didn’t know people used this term in real life so once I stopped laughing at her and was able to have a serious discussion about it, I was surprised to discover that we both agreed it might not be the worst thing.

Here’s why I changed my whole perspective on the fling thing. The idea of getting involved with someone when there’s a timestamp on the whole experience gave me a bit of pause at first, sure, but when I spun it differently (and there ‘s always more than one way to look at any given situation) it actually sounded kind of exciting to me. I started thinking about not having to wonder where my relationship is headed, or if we both want the same things. The stuff he does that bugs the hell out of me? Who cares? Soon enough those annoying habits will be someone else’s problem! The idea of just being present and focusing on enjoying our time together without worrying about expectations or plans for the future is all too appealing. I can just be myself and feel comfortable and not have to change a single thing about me.

That sounds lovely doesn’t it? Being yourself in a relationship? What a notion! I don’t know about you, but I struggle with this seemingly easy concept more often than not. Speaking my mind, communicating my needs, setting boundaries, all the while being myself and having fun? I’m sorry, what? It can be totally overwhelming trying to find the delicate balance that relationships require. So when I think of taking the thing that overwhelms me the most- the future- off the table, and just focus on the ‘now’ part, then, um, yeah, I think I’ll give this whole summer love thing a shot. When I think of all the fun things associated with summer- beaches, pools, vacations, picnics, outdoor concerts, fireworks, etc, and then having someone to do these things with? Yes please! Why wouldn’t I be open to this?

In case you’re not sold on flinging yet, allow me to really drive my point home with some of the benefits I found to being open-minded to this kind of non-commitment:

  • Being in a less serious relationship helps to take some pressure off and has gotten me in the mindset of enjoying dating (yes, it’s possible!)
  • I have the perfect opportunity to make some mistakes! Look, dating can be super challenging; no one is going to argue that. Here’s a chance for me to do all the things I might not do in a serious relationship.
  • You know all those events we get invited to in the summer? I do, and I dread going to them solo. Barbeques, weekends at the beach, weddings? Having someone to attend with? Someone to satisfy everyone’s constant probe, “are you seeing anyone?” Sign me up!
  • It’ll encourage me to break the pattern of my usual “type”. Who doesn’t have a dating pattern? Mainly attracted to athletes? Ethnic guys? Financiers? I am. I’m going to take a risk and date someone outside the norm for me. Maybe a politician. Who knows? That in and of itself is super exciting and enough to make me want to give this a shot. Even if it ends up being as epic a fail as breakaway track pants, I’ll have learned something from the experience!
  • It’s not easy to do things solely on your terms in relationships. Things get really tricky when considering the feelings of everyone involved. Having a short summer romance might actually help me to find my voice, and gain more confidence when it comes to stating my needs in a future (serious) relationship.

All I’m saying is I’m going to give this a shot. There are way worse things than opening myself to the possibility of happiness. And even if I just discover it’s not for me? Awesome. Now I know. And I’ll also have a really fun “fling” story to share with my friends. My online dating stories are getting old anyway.

I’m Not Dreaming Of A Summer Fling This Year (And I’m OK With That)

by Ola Faletiin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS, Sex

The joys of summer extend beyond romance.

It’s hard not to romanticize summer. I hail from Chicago, where the winters last six months, and the first 90 degree days of the season have everyone wistful. We’re eager to break out a cold beer on a stoop, and excited to indulge in hormonal urges.

Some of us, newly single, decide we’re going to be adventurous this summer. The rest of us, long single, dust off our dating profiles on the quest for a summer fling.

I fell into the latter camp. Summer always seemed to bring out a new resolve: I’m going to have amazing sex. This body is too young, soft and supple to not be appreciated by someone else.

Two summers ago I discovered a new-found freedom in going on dates, meeting new people, and enjoying the physical experience before moving on. I didn’t want that summer to end. I’m sure I did other notable things that summer, but when all was said and done I thought, “Yes! Flings are what summer is about. I’m taking full advantage of my youth!”

Summer fun

Last summer, I did no such thing. The summer began with a tryst with a longtime friend, followed by lots of weird sexual tension. And, being 1000% honest with myself, I’d hoped it would become more than a one-time thing.

I entertained the thought of a summer-long friends-with-benefits type of deal. Instead I got lots of broken expectations, mixed signals, and poor communication. Things only worsened when this “friend” left me very drunk at a concert, so intoxicated I woke up in a hospital the next day.

Summer love isn’t a unique phenomenon. There are films, books, songs, beers, 60s counterculture movements and New York Times articles devoted to the topic. I wonder why nothing captivates public attention like the promise of a summer romance.

It could be that the weather puts everyone in a better mood. People are leaving their homes more, people are bearing more skin. Maybe we are more gung-ho about meeting new people and going on new adventures.

There’s nothing wrong with being excited for summer flings. They can be fun, exhilarating, and offer a new perspective. It’s only a problem when you build a summer fling to be the pinnacle of your summer.

For me, last summer’s “fling gone awry” is what I remember the most. Not the other amazing things that happened – like the fact that I received a significant promotion at my job, or that I was starting to get freelance assignments for the first time. I was even published in a book!

It was learning that someone I considered a good friend, at some point, is actually not the best person. The goals I achieved that summer were dwarfed by my cocktail of negative emotions surrounding that situation. It’s silly to give someone else the power of “messing up your summer,” so I’m not going to do that this year. This year will be amazing!

single summer fun

I’m not discouraging anyone from being excited about hookup or romance potential, but I am encouraging everyone to be excited about other opportunities for personal growth. Make some exciting travel plans. Take a new class, learn more about your professional industry. Embark on a personal project for fun. Read more books. Make goals for yourself and earnestly work toward them.

These are things you can control. Love and romance — not so much. That’s what makes love and romance exciting, but that’s also what can make it stressful.

There are many things I am looking forward too this summer. Such as: creating a business plan for the first time, going to some street festivals, taking full advantage of my new apartment’s proximity to the beach, working on long-abandoned essays, traveling to see childhood friends, and overall, making the best of my last three months of being 25.

If a fling happens, it happens. But there’s no way I’ll let my summer fulfillment depend on who I’m with or not with between the sheets.

Happy summer everyone! Don’t forget, LOVE TV is here to help with advice on all of your summer romances and help you find love for the summer and forevermore. Join LOVE TV today!

15 Staycation Ideas to Have a Fun and Sexy Summer with Your Significant Other

by Kate Oczypokin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Once August hits, I get serious FOMO when it comes to summer vacations.

As a freelancer and piano teacher, it’s often hard for me to go on vacation, with student loans, rent payments and just the general cost of living in D.C. looming. Every August, when so many take vacations, whether it be to the beach or somewhere more extravagant like a whirlwind trip to Europe, I get serious fear of missing out. I decided this August, I’d like to try some staycation ideas with my boyfriend.

Here are 15 fun and sexy ideas for a fabulous staycation in your hometown with your significant other this summer.

1. Have an at-home spa afternoon.

You don’t have to have lots of cash to have a relaxing afternoon. Bath and Body Works has an aromatherapy line I love that’s perfect for massages—I use the Sleep: Lavender and Vanilla every night!

2. Have a date night to a drive-in close to you.

I loved going to the local drive-in when I was in high school. At that point, I wasn’t dating anyone but I always thought it would be super romantic to have a Grease–style date night there. Drive-ins are mostly a thing of the past, but if you look hard enough, you may find that your state houses one of the approximately 330 left in the country.

3. Go mini golfing.

Mini golfing is a great place to be extra flirty. Think about it—there’s lots of bending over, friendly competition and playfulness with your club. Add a cute outfit and some soft serve afterwards, and you have a perfect nostalgic date.

4. Unplug for a weekend and camp out in your backyard.

There’s something very freeing about not getting on social media for a weekend. Leave your phones in a bedroom and if you have a house, set up a tent in your backyard. Sit under the stars and talk to each other. Chances are, you may learn new things about each other despite years of dating. Afterwards, snuggle up together in your tent.

staycation

5. Create your own honeymoon suite.

If you’re married, recreate your honeymoon in a few simple ways. Head to the mall and purchase ultra-soft towels and fancy chocolates and sneak off to buy some new seductive lingerie. Light some candles and get ready for a romantic evening together. Doing something like recreating your honeymoon reignites a certain sense of desire.

6. Spend the day at your local pool.

I adore swimming with significant others. I miss it, as my longtime boyfriend unfortunately does not enjoy the pool and has very fair skin, making him burn nearly instantly. Anyway, in the past there has been nothing more fun and flirty than play wrestling in the pool with a boyfriend or lounging side by side on oversized rafts.

7. Role play at a local bed & breakfast.

One of my favorite shows is still Modern Family. Some of my favorite moments are Phil and Claire’s role playing as Clive and Juliana. Not only are they hilarious, but they also show that after years and years of being married, Phil and Claire are still very much in love. Book a night at your local bed and breakfast and role play a la Phil and Claire for a fun staycation overnight activity.

8.Go hiking then shower together afterwards.

The next gorgeous weekend that comes up, research local popular hiking trails near you. Go check out the great outdoors with your partner. After all, research shows that being in nature is a great way to reconnect with family and friends.

9. Tackle a home improvement project you’ve been meaning to do.

I know my siblings who own homes are always meaning to do certain home improvement projects. Even if you rent like my boyfriend and me, you can still use your staycation to tackle a home improvement project you’ve been putting off. If you have a balcony, redesign it and toast with cocktails together. When my partner and I found out we needed a riser for our new TV last year we turned it into a project. Our reward when we were finished was a snuggly night of Netflix and chilling.

10. Add a new furry friend to the family.

Adding a dog or cat to your home can be a great way to spend your time off this summer. Teaching an animal how to behave and live in their new home is a great bonding experience with your significant other. Sites like petfinder.com and adoptapet.com make it ridiculously easy too!

11. Volunteer for an afternoon with your local charity.

There’s nothing sexier than helping others. Spend the afternoon volunteering at your favorite local charity. My boyfriend and I are hoping to get involved with our favorite local dog rescue this fall and bring dogs on “dogventures.” There are also lots of clean-up opportunities in the summer for parks too.

12. Visit somewhere campy.

No, I’m not talking about places in the woods. Campy, as in exaggerated and humorous, often with a sense of irony. Check out any outdoor movie festivals in your city, or make a day trip to a bizarre museum nearby—like the Mutter Museum in Philadelphia. Here is a list of 51 weird museums across the country.

staycation

13. Have a sexy or romantic movie marathon.

Log on to your favorite streaming service and pick a couple romantic or sexy movies to watch together. Pop some popcorn and settle in together underneath your favorite blanket. Act like teenagers in your parents’ basement and get handsy underneath the quilt for some old-time fun.

14. Spend the entire day in bed, experimenting with new positions.

If one of your staycation days ends up being rainy, spend the entire day in bed. Google some new sex positions or try some of these for a lazy, perfectly snuggly day.

15. Have your own at-home wine tasting.

Visit your local liquor store and grab some wine you haven’t tried yet. Don’t forget to stop at the grocery store for cheese, crackers and some prosciutto. Grab your favorite wine glasses and get tipsy together at home with a relaxing at-home wine tasting.

Have an epic staycation with these 15 summer staycation ideas.