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December is freshly pressed into our lives….

with Christmas vision waiting for you just around the corner. For many it can be not so cheerful reality check. Does the thought of spending them by yourself fill you with dread? Well, fear no more! There are ways that you can turn the holiday preparations to your advantage, so that you can find your soul mate by Christmas.

Step 1: Don’t Worry, Be Happy

It’s hard to be happy when you see everyone else in pairs and you’re still single, but happiness is what is needed in order to catch someone’s eye. People like to be around happy people. While misery may get you attention in the short-term, people will soon get tired of your company if all you do is complain about being single, or talking about how unhappy you are that you’re still alone.

LIKE ENERGY ATTRACTS LIKE ENERGY. This isn’t just psychic new-age babble. It’s not just wishful thinking or bright-siding. It is a theory of quantum physics, and it works. Think of it like driving a car; that vehicle is going to go where you point it, right

It’s the same with your thinking. If you focus on being miserable and alone, the more of that same energy is what you’re going to draw into your life. If you focus on what is going well, and creating your own happiness, then more of that energy is what you’re going to draw into your life. Sure, it takes more effort, but the reward is greater, too, don’t you think? Acknowledge the fact that you are unhappy with the way that things are, recognize that you want to change things so that you have someone special in your life, and then set about making the changes, rather than dwelling on the misery.

When you throw yourself into activities that you love, you start to sparkle and shine, and that enthusiasm is both charismatic and contagious.

Step 2: Try Something New

You may look at this as self-improvement time. Maybe you have been thinking about working out at the gym, or taking up a group activity such as hiking or a sport. What better way to meet new people than to start doing new things? You will be sure that you have a common interest with the people you meet, too, for you’re pursuing a common goal or activity.

Consider taking a class, starting a hobby, joining an organization or volunteering somewhere. Make sure it is something that makes you feel passionate. When you throw yourself into activities that you love, you start to sparkle and shine, and that enthusiasm is both charismatic and contagious. In order to find your soul mate, they first have to recognize you, and your charisma will enable them to to that.

Step 3: Believe in Yourself

You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t’ have to put on an act. Just be genuinely who you are. Acknowledge your faults or shortcomings and work on improving them, but don’t do it for someone else. Don’t fall into the trap of ‘if I can only lose weight / finish my degree / pay off my credit card / move to a new town / get a different car / start a new job / etc, then everything will be perfect and I will find true love’ mindset. It really doesn’t work that way.

It may sound over-simplified, but if you don’t believe in yourself, why should anyone else? When you feel down on yourself it’s very easy to fall into the ‘nobody loves me, everybody hates me, guess I’ll go eat worms’ type of mindset, but be brutally honest with yourself; would you want to fall in love with a person who exhibited that type of mindset?

True love will find you when you are being the best you whom you can be. If you want to lose weight, finish your degree, start a new job, or whatever, great—but do it for you, not for someone else. Remember, it is when you are openly and honestly yourself, immersing yourself in the joys of life and celebrating your uniqueness, that you give off the glow that will attract your soul mate to you.

Believe in your soul mate. It is a fact that there is someone out there for you.

Step 4: Believe in Your Soul Mate

In fact, this goes beyond believing in your soul mate. You have to know that he or she is out there. When you hope, there’s an element of doubt. When you believe, you take things on faith. When you know, you trust in fact—and it is a fact that there is someone out there for you. Knowing this, and living your life in this way, can make the difference between success, and failure.

LET’S PLAY PRETEND FOR A MINUTE…

Let’s pretend that you are already with your soul mate, but they are away on a business trip, to a remote place where there is no access to email or cellphone. You still go about your day, but you’re confident, because you know you have someone in your life. You aren’t miserable when you go out with your friends, because you know you are not alone. Chores like shopping for groceries or doing the dishes aren’t a grind, because you know that someone’s waiting for you.

Now, apply that to your life now. Just because you don’t know who this person is, just because they are not in your life yet, doesn’t mean that they’re not real. Have that HAPPY CONFIDENCE, put that spring in your step, and go through your days knowing that you have someone in your life. Like energy attracts like energy, remember?

Step 5: Make Room for Love to Come

Human beings, by nature, are creatures of habit, and sometimes those habits are hard to break. It’s easy to get stuck where we are, and to focus on what we have already experienced, rather than what is yet to come. We’ve already looked at going new places and doing new things, but you also need to make room in your life and your heart if you want your soul mate to enter and take up residence.

Make sure that you are not clinging to your past. If your house is full of MEMORABILIA and photographs of your ex, it’s time to have a clear out. Yes, it may be painful to realize that your love is not coming back, but that’s part of the healing process. This person may not be returning, but that means that someone equally wonderful or even more amazing than your ex is about to enter your life. Make sure that there’s space in your home, and that it reflects the welcome that you’re giving to new romance.

BE STRONG ENOUGH TO LET THAT HURT GO…

Yes, you may be opening yourself up to being vulnerable, and yes, there is a chance that someone else may disappoint you in the future—but what if they don’t? What if by being fully open and embracing your authentic self, you welcome in the love of your soul mate, the love you’ve waited so long to experience?

Last step before….

If you can embrace these five steps, I promise you that you will be well on your way to meeting your soul mate by Christmas. Just remember that you have more than one person who could be your soul mate. You have more than one chance for love—we all do. You move through life and you touch everyone whom you encounter. Some people will be in your life for a reason, to teach you something or to learn something from you.

And most important…enjoy your seasonal time (no matter how you call it) with yourself first!

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

For many, trying to find “the one” is an epic journey filled with pitfalls, quicksand, twists, turns, and lots of surprises. But if you know what to look for, the journey might surprise you.

In just a few months, I’m getting married to the perfect guy for me. We laugh together, play games together, and, even after all these years, we want to spend all our time with each other. My friends always tell me I’m so lucky to have found my soulmate, my other half, “the one.”

And while I feel blessed in my relationship, I don’t think I’m lucky because I found “the one.” I think I’m lucky because I found someone I’m compatible with, and over the years, we were able to grow together and get closer until we got to be a such a great fit. Finding “the one” isn’t a matter of finding one specific person, it’s about choosing someone who’s a good match and fostering a life-long relationship.

Romantic comedies are movies, they’re not exactly real life.

When I watch romcom movies or read fairy tales about meeting “the one,” the couple always falls in love at first sight. The two have an unbreakable bond instantly and they know they’re meant to be together. Usually the rest of the story includes outside forces keeping them apart or a long journey to find each other again, but in the end they always live happily ever after.

But that’s not how it happens in real life. Stories give many of us unrealistic ideas about love, and leave couples disappointed when finding the best partner isn’t so easy.

A relationship doesn’t just mean being the right “fit” and feeling a connection. Relationships also mean learning how to be a great partner for each other and work together as a team. Your mate’s ability to be “the one” depends as much on them as it does on you.

So, while you shouldn’t give up your search for your soulmate, you might need a new road map.

Here are some traits to look for when searching for “the one” and tips to make that relationship last forever.

1. Find someone you can disagree with… in a healthy way

So many people think that living with their partner should be a jaunty skip through a field of flowers… which is why so many couples are disappointed when the honeymoon phase ends.

No one can agree with another person completely (and all the time). To be human is to think and make decisions and have ideas. There are so many opportunities everyday to make choices, and there’s no way someone else will have all the same ideas as you.

And even if you did: dating them would probably be pretty boring.

You need to be okay with the fact that you’re going to disagree sometimes, but you should also recognize when an argument isn’t healthy.

My fiancé and I have a lot of similar ideas, but we still disagree on plenty of things — from what to eat for dinner to which color we should paint the living room. And while arguments are bound to happen, it’s important to remember to address differences with patience and understanding.

Sometimes my fiancé and I might get mad or frustrated when we don’t agree on something right away. Still, we know that it’s important to always treat each other with respect. We make it a rule to never raise our voices and to try to look at any situation from each other’s point of view.

However, if you find that you and your partner fight all the time, you don’t feel listened to, and you’re often frustrated with your communication, it might not make for a lasting relationship. Either seek professional help, or recognize that maybe this isn’t the right person for you.

2. Find someone with similar long-term goals

One important part of a relationship is priorities. No matter how well you get along, or how much you love each other, if your giant, ride-or-die, lifelong priorities don’t line up, it’s probably not going to work out in the long run.

Of course, in any relationship, you’re going to need to compromise. But in order to be truly happy together, you shouldn’t compromise too much on the big things. Remember: there are plenty of people out there, and if you’re going to make a relationship last forever, you’re allowed to be picky with the big things. The key is to be realistic in your search without settling too much.

One great thing to do, if you’re wondering if your partner is really your best match, is to make a list of long-term, super important, priorities for yourself. You should have two, or maybe three, tops. These are things that you’ve always dreamed about doing and could never, in a million years, live without. Have your partner make a list too, and compare.

For my fiancé and I, we both want to travel and both would like to have a family. While nobody can agree on every little thing in life, it’s important to us that we have similar opinions in the places that count.

If you’ve always dreamed of having kids, and your partner is actively against children, no matter what happens, one of you is going to end up severely disappointed. Neither of you deserve that.

Keep in mind: it’s okay if your lists don’t look exactly the same. One of you can be super into the idea of having kids while the other has always dreamed about becoming a doctor, but as long as they don’t directly conflict, you can probably work it out.

Everything has some wiggle room for the right person. If your partner’s education means putting off kids for a few years, or vice versa, keep an open mind.

3. Look for similarities in spirit, rather than interests

In an era when it’s so easy to “swipe left” when someone doesn’t listen to the right music or like the same movies, remember that interests and hobbies aren’t as important as personality.

My fiancé and I met in our high school theater class and, at the time, we were both interested in plays and music. While having common interests may have helped us bond in the beginning, since then, we’ve both developed other hobbies. Recently, he’s gotten into taking improv classes while I’ve been more interested in literature, but we’re still as compatible as ever.

Similarly, you don’t need to find someone who shares your love of rock climbing or needle point. In fact, it can be beneficial to have different hobbies. What really matters is that you have complimentary personalities and a similar spirit. It’s not a common hobby that sustains a relationship, it’s your personalities.

Think of it this way: if you love watching football but your partner isn’t a huge fan, that’s okay. It’s more important to find someone with the same sense of humor as you or someone you can talk to easily. Those things are much more important than sharing an interest in sports.

Focus your interests on finding someone with a complementary personality. Hobbies come and go, but attitude is forever.

4. Find someone that accepts your faults and celebrates your successes

Support is incredibly important in any relationship. It helps you and your partner feel like a team, and lets you know that you have someone to depend on. For a long term partner, find someone who supports you through the good and bad. And practice supporting them too.

For me, it’s so important when my fiancé supports my education. While he might not know exactly what a certain class is about, or how important one particular paper is, he’s so supportive of everything I’m excited about, and comforts me whenever I’m feeling down about a class that’s giving me trouble.

Of course, you might not understand your significant other’s work drama, and maybe he or she doesn’t realize how important it is that you got into the robot-building championships. Still, you both root for each other and show your support. Whether it’s sitting in the front row of a tournament your honey is playing in, or being a shoulder to cry on when things get tough, being supportive (and getting support) will help your relationship go the distance.

The search for your ideal partner isn’t like in the movies. It’s not about covering as much land and meeting as many people until you find that perfect-incredible-super-wonderful person. It’s more about finding someone great and going on a journey together.

With these tips, you’ll find that special person to create a life with and, hopefully, you’ll see each other as soulmates too.

You can read more stories like this such as How to Win at Online Dating and Spot Your Soulmate in a Crowd.

Tag: find soulmate

4 Tips to Find Your Soul Mate by Christmas