Love comes in many shapes, sizes and ways of connecting. We should all be free to love and celebrate the love, intimacy, friendship and sexuality of relationships.
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Category: Sex
Boost Sexual Energy to Rejuvenate Your Relationship
Get the excitement back!
When love is new, everything is exciting, including making love. It’s partly why that first few months of married bliss is called the “honeymoon stage”—everything is great, wonderful, and thrilling. However, over time and throughout the years, you may feel a little less energetic about getting intimate with your better half.
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Sexy Tantra Games You NEED To Try Tonight
4. Tantric Breath
Blow your warm breath all over your lover’s naked body from their neck to their toes, both sides and then alternate. You can also use a feather to tickle one part of their body while you’re blowing your warm breath on another part.
5. Finger Walking
Walk your fingers over your own body and show your lover five places that excite you the most for at least five minutes. Then ask your lover to show you what they’ve learned. And alternate.
6. Tantric Kiss
Bend over your lover and kiss all around his/her face with baby kisses and use your hands to caress him/her simultaneously. Then trace your lover’s lips with your tongue, take your lover’s bottom lip between yours and suck gently. Suck on your lover’s tongue with your lips and end in a passionate, wet, smoldering Tantric kiss for at least five minutes.
7. Tantric Dance
Stand and hold each other close and move your bodies together, swaying from side to side, rolling your hips and grinding your pelvises into each other without moving your feet. Add some sexy music to enhance your movements.
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Train Your Love Muscles with More Than Kegels
Sex itself is a physical activity. But, no, it doesn’t count as your only workout; you still have to log some exercise hours outside the bedroom. Still, focusing on your “sexy-time muscles” — including your hip flexors, abs, inner thighs, and butt — can have big payoffs in the sack (or wherever you find yourself) by creating body awareness, building strength (to support your weight and your partner’s), developing the stamina to reach orgasm, increasing confidence, and improving your flexibility. Plus, exercise just sounds like more fun when you know it leads to better sex.
This routine doesn’t require any equipment, and you can do the exercises at home or at the gym (don’t worry, they don’t scream “I’m working my love muscles!” or anything). Ahead, your six-move workout that’s both simple and satisfying.
Plié Squat
Targets: glutes, quads, inner thighs
Stand with your legs slightly wider than shoulder-width apart and your toes turned out. Place your hands on your hips.
Keeping your torso long, begin to bend at your knees, lowering into a squat; aim to get your thighs parallel to the floor. Pause, then push through your heels to stand up. Do 2-3 sets of 10-15 reps.
Hip Lift
Targets: glutes, core, hamstrings
Lie face-up on a yoga mat with your knees bent and feet flat on the floor (placed near the butt and about hip-width apart). Rest your arms at your sides with your palms face-down.
Push through the heels to lift your hips up while keeping your shoulders flush against the floor. Pause, then slowly lower back to the ground. Do 2-3 sets of 10-15 reps.
Seated Thrusts
Targets: glutes, quads, core, hip flexibility
Start kneeling on a yoga mat with your feet and knees hip-width apart and your butt resting on your heels. Your body should remain upright with your arms extended in front of you at shoulder height.
Now, come away from your heels onto your knees. Keep your spine long, your knees, hips, and shoulders stacked in one line, and your arms extended.
Keeping your torso stable, lean back, moving your body in one straight line from your head to your thighs. Slowly, come back to your upright position — that’s 1 rep. Do 2-3 sets of 10-15 reps.
Cat/Cow Stretch
Targets: core and increased flexibility
Begin in a tabletop position with a neutral spine. Keep your shoulders over your wrists and your hips directly over your knees.
Slowly arch your back, lifting your head, chest, and tailbone up to the ceiling (cow).
Gently release and round your back towards the ceiling, tucking your chin to your chest (cat). Slowly move through these two positions; don’t rush, the stretch should feel really good. Do 2-3 sets of 10-15 reps.
Double Leg Stretch
Lie face-up on a yoga mat with your legs bent at 90 degrees so that your shins are parallel to the floor. Pull your belly button towards your spine. Now, curl up by lifting your head and shoulder blades off the ground. Extend your hands towards your knees and keep your lower back pressing into the floor. This is your starting position.
Simultaneously extend your arms overhead so that your elbows are by your ears and your legs are out and away from your body at a 45-degree angle. Then, slowly return your legs to starting position and circle your arms to meet your legs over your chest. Do 2-3 sets of 10-15 reps.
Leg Circles
Targets: lower abdominals and hip mobility
Lay face-up on a yoga mat with your arms extended out from your shoulders and your palms facing down. Keep your abs tight, press your lower back against the floor, and raise your legs towards the ceiling. Imagine your legs are glued together; your feet should remain pointed.
Keeping your back against the ground and your arms actively pressing into the floor, begin to draw small circles with your feet. As you become stronger and more flexible, the circles will become larger. Do 10 clockwise circles, then switch directions. Do 2-3 sets.
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Tantric Explorations Brings a Higher Plane of Sexual Ecstasy
Practice Awareness
Instead of rushing through pleasure, let yourself slowly become aware of every part of your body and how it feels when your partner touches you. It helps to move through your body in sections, starting from your toes to your ankles right up to your neck and face and the tips of your ears. Take note of everything from the way your skin feels to the temperature of the room. Caress, kiss, and otherwise touch your partner and have him or her touch you, but slowly, and in places of your body other than just the typical erogenous zones. Try touching your partner’s neck, or stomach, or thighs. Don’t worry about being aroused. Just let that come naturally as you appreciate your partner’s body fully. You can even try implementing body oil or a massage.
Maintain Arousal
As Tantric sex is about being orgasmic rather than working toward having an orgasm, one technique you and your partner may try is coming close to orgasm, then letting your arousal plateau before you go over the edge. Then build it up again. Doing this intensifies the sexual energy that you and your partner are generating. Every time you reach the edge and pull back, you heighten your arousal. This is also a good way to develop self control, and ultimately makes your orgasm much more intense when you finally finish.
Sex is fun, but Tantra promises to take lovers to a higher plane of ecstasy. It’s about awaking sexual energy, exploring your senses, and finding a deeper connection with your partner. By taking the focus away from climaxing, Tantra can help partners experience sex in a more holistic way. It’s also something that needs to be learned and practiced over time. But hey, it isn’t such a bad a way to spend a Saturday night!
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Best Places To Do It This Summer
It’s Summertime, it’s lovely out, and everybody knows warm weather means taking sex outside of the bedroom! Look through this list and see what you can dream up- but remember to be careful, and that telling the police “but I read it in a blog” is not a way out of a public indecency charge, young lady!
Good idea:
In A Car
This is where many kids started getting hot and heavy, because they didn’t have their own place yet- trying to contort into some kind of reasonable position can make you feel like a kid again, although the crick in your neck tomorrow might remind you that you’re not! Also, steaming up windows is almost like having them tinted!
Bad Idea:
On A Bus
Sex in a car is dirty and clandestine, but sex on the bus is just plain dirty. The Replacements sang a great song about kissing on a bus, but they never sang about going past first base.
Good Idea:
Private Office
If you or your dude have scaled the corporate ladder and have an office with a door, that’s a super hot place to hook up- big office chair, nice big desk! Not least of all, the next time he’s having a tough meeting over quarterly reports, the memory will give him a reason to smile.
Bad Idea:
Cubicle Farm
Just like no glove, no love, if there’s no door, you can’t get more. If you don’t have enough privacy in your office to make a doctor’s appointment, you shouldn’t play doctor there.
Good Idea:
In The Forest
Getting back to nature can definitely mean going au naturel- just check for poison ivy before bedding down!
Bad Idea:
In The Park
It’s easy to feel like you found a private spot, and hard to be sure! My friend thought she was getting away with a secret shag in Griffith Park until a passing bicyclist smiled and waved at her.
Good Idea:
Kitchen
Counters, sinks, hey, is your kitchen floor clean enough to screw on? Let’s find out! Next time you’re having a leisurely morning, ask your man if he wants to butter your buns, or cook breakfast in only an apron and he’ll probably figure it out on his own.
Bad Idea:
Kitchen
This part is for safety. Don’t cook breakfast naked because: bacon spatters!
Good Idea:
Quickie in a Bathroom at a Party
You’re all dressed up and you’ve had a drink and you lock eyes with your fella, or a nice looking dude- the bathroom offers privacy, a couple of surfaces to take advantage of, and in a tile bathroom, cleanup’s a breeze!
Bad Idea:
Full On Lovemaking Session in a Bathroom at a Party
Don’t keep drunk people waiting for a bathroom too long. That leads to fights and dead, pee-soaked houseplants. You will not be invited back.
Good Idea:
On A Rooftop
An empty hotel or apartment rooftop can be a great spot for warm-weather shenanigans, to say nothing of the view!
Bad Idea:
On A Rooftop
Try to keep from yelling “I’m the King of the World!” because that can get you busted. Also, make sure the stairwell door doesn’t lock behind you lest your adventure leave you stranded up there!
Good Idea:
In The Shower
Speaking of the bathroom, the shower is a fun place to get hot and steamy and get clean, then get down, then clean again! Plan ahead with some lube.
Bad Idea:
In The Pool or Hot Tub
This can’t be said enough. Dolphins are made to have sex in the water. People aren’t. We just get squeaky and dried out. Chlorine is not your friend. Don’t do it!
Lastly, The Bad Idea That Everyone Pretends Is A Good Idea:
On An Airplane
Look, the romance of joining the mile high club is very different from the reality of trying to have a tryst on an airplane. Unless you’re on a private jet, there’s barely room for one person to be in the bathroom, let alone two. If you and your lover are small enough where you can comfortably romp in a rolling suitcase, you can probably have a good time in a plane bathroom, but you folks can just stay in the suitcase as well! Next time, try doing it in a hand towel dispenser, or a water bottle, tiny people!
Pucker up for the Best Kiss
5. If you don’t know for a fact that they like hard biting, don’t lead with hard biting.
A lip bite can be cool but some people don’t like it or they like varied levels of pressure. If you’re not sure which one they’re into, do not sink your teeth into their lips like you’re eating steak.
6. Passion is good. Punching their face with your face is not good at all.
Pressure can be a great thing but if you feel like they’re leaning away from you to alleviate some of that pressure, ease up. That said…
7. Lean in, man! Again, this is about balance, but I’ve definitely had more guys who were too gentle and almost felt like they were on sedatives while kissing me.
Gentle is a great starting place but there’s a reason why movie kisses are hard and passionate and not passive and sleepy.
8. Listen to what their mouth is trying to tell you.
A lot of the time, the way your partner is kissing you is the way your partner wants to be kissed. So in the beginning especially, pay attention to how they’re kissing you and where they’re kissing you because in all likelihood, that’s what they’re hoping for on your end as well.
9. For christ’s sake, don’t just stick to the lips.
Yes, that’s a great place to start but may I also present to you: the neck, the ears, the cheeks, the nose, all very kissable places for very different reasons.
10. Never go from 0 (kissing) to 60 (crazy sex action) unless they explicitly tell you they want that.
One time I had a guy go from kissing me to his hand down my pants in record time and I’d never, ever told him I had any interest in that. It was horrifying, neither felt good, and honestly, it made me want to smack him and never kiss anyone again. Move slowly, observe your partner, and ask if they don’t specifically tell you, but good god, do not be that shit slice.
11. Keep your mind from drifting off into your to-do list.
You’re kissing someone you genuinely like. Think about how often that happens. Not that often! Remembering all the reasons you wanted to kiss them in the first place will make the kissing better for you and for them. (Plus, let’s be honest, you’re not going to organize your closet by color. You live in a pile of clothes and probably always will. It’s fine.)
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New Foreplay Sweet Spots to Explore
SWEET SPOT 3
The Erotic Pathways on the Sides of the Torso
Snaking from the bottom of the rib cage to the hips is a powerful nerve that, when stimulated, connects directly to your clitoris and your man’s penis. “When you touch this area, it reflexively causes the pelvic-floor muscles to contract in both men and women, which increases arousal,” says Dr. Ross.
You’ll want to use a firmer touch here, since it’s more ticklish than other spots. Start on one side, just underneath the rib cage, and either stroke the area with your hand or alternate between kissing (apply more pressure than usual with your lips) and lightly nibbling your way down to the hipbone.
“On a guy, you’ll actually see his testicles and penis contracting,” says
Dr. Ross. “And you’ll feel the contractions in your vaginal wall and clitoral area as he does the same move on you.” The benefits here are twofold: Not only does it feel insanely good in the moment, but those pelvic contractions also create a buildup to one hell of an orgasm.
SWEET SPOT 4
That Pleasure Mound on the Lower Back
The knob at the base of the spine is rife with nerves with major pleasure potential. To take advantage, give each other a sexy rubdown.
Start at the shoulder blades, and work your hands down in a kneading motion. At the lower back, switch to a softer touch, and lightly spiral your fingers over the base. “This area is so receptive, just the softest touch will send chills throughout the body,” says Dr. Ross.
Other sexy ideas: Lightly graze your cheek against the area — the unexpected skin on skin sparks an increase in the excitement hormone dopamine. Then softly kiss and trace your tongue along the same spot (just make sure he’s shaved before he tries this on you). You can also brush the tips of your hair against the skin and then switch to raking your fingernails gently across it to deepen the sensation.
SWEET SPOT 5
The Teasing Trail on the Thighs
One of the most explosive nerves in the body is located at the top of the inner thigh. “It’s called the ilioinguinal nerve, and it’s incredibly sensitive to touch,” says Dr. Millheiser.
In fact, it’s best to save it for last and work your way up to it. Start by licking your finger (the wetness increases the stimulation) and slowly drawing it from the mid–inner thigh to the top. Then follow the path you just traced with your tongue, teasing your way to the upper region.
“Because the skin here is tender, it’s important to watch how he reacts,” says
Buckley. “If he flinches, you’re exciting the nerve to the point where it feels too ticklish.” The fix: Give the area firmer kisses (it’ll work on you too).
As your guy touches you here, you’ll notice your breath becoming more rapid and your pelvis starting to spasm in that must-have-you-now way. The reason: “Caressing this area indirectly stimulates the genitals, since the nerves around it are firing pleasure signals to the brain,” says Dr. Ross. Now is the time to put your guy’s hand exactly where you’re craving it… and enjoy the ride.
Too-Long Foreplay
A slow passion buildup is hot—to a point. Quit fooling around and do it already if…
• Your old carpal tunnel has kicked in from so much “handiwork.”
• The new seductive sandalwood candle you lit suddenly smells very strong. Oh, wait, it’s burned down to the bedside table.
• You’ve had so much skin-on-skin contact that your boobs are chafing.
• Your Twitter followers have filed a missing-person report.
• The only things you’ve eaten in the past 48 hours are whipped cream and strawberries.
• You’ve done the tips in this article so many times that for dirty talk, you’re able to recite them to each other.
• You’re starting to think that there’s such a thing as “blue ovaries.”
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Join Me in the Bedroom, Your Sexy Surprise Awaits…
After returning home from my workout, I snapped a close-up detail of a pair of sexy lacy underpinnings and texted the photo to my husband. No comment required. He responded appropriately. My game was on!
More details of my fantasy evening played out whilst I indulged in a much longer than necessary shower and my morning writing assignment became fraught with distracting “flashes” of lingerie, skin, dancing, teasing, pleasuring, hot, fun, love.
After lunch I sent another image. This one featured my current task—folding laundry, but with the addition of a toy for interest. Not one of our child’s Matchbox cars, but an adult toy. Again, no comment required. My husband’s response affirmed that he too was enjoying our foreplay dally.
We returned to our respective workdays, but as the day drew on, the excitement of the approaching evening heightened.
In the interest of stoking ones sex life, I can’t recommend engaging the imagination highly enough. Everyone wins! With the undertone of a delicious tease playing in the background of the day, “have-to do” tasks such as errands, homework, after-school sports and dinner prep stand to benefit from the addition of ones imaginative, sensual “want to do” perspective.
The old adage of “a happy wife, means a happy life” rings true, but I also consider it’s my responsibility to be the author of my own happiness.
Our last text exchange, featured an image of the aforementioned underpinnings, in a setting that would suggest they’d been enthusiastically discarded, no comment required. I hit send and then went about the business of putting our offspring to bed. My husband’s appreciation was clearly evident by his response, which served to further our alluring dance of come-ons.
Another sip and another smile, this one tinged with a hint of insider information (the envisioned finale was the culmination of my creativity after all) and loaded with the thrill of anticipation.
My stage was set, the Dutch courage had been a great call, my carefully considered wardrobe selection was working fantastically in transitioning from doting mother to the sexpot, temptress look I was aiming for and it was time to up the ante on this business of foreplay.
In keeping with the theme, I sent a final text to my patiently waiting husband in the bedroom. “Join me in the living room darling, your drink awaits.”
He arrived wordlessly, sporting nothing but a smile.
Friends and strangers alike often comment on how often I smile. My response is always the same.
“Well it’s because I have a lot to smile about.”
The business of life is busy. But consider your answer when asked the question what matters most to you? Family? Loved Ones? Happiness? Health? Career? Don’t you owe it to yourself to honor your response? Perhaps this will inspire you to be the author of your happiness, design your own moments and create an abundance of smiles.
Curated by Karinna
Originally published in Elephant Journal
Stories of Rape Often Go Unheard
Sexual assault happens to many people who don’t speak out. These shocking facts are visualized below to highlight topics we often don’t speak widely about.
In the wake of the Bill Cosby scandal, New York Magazine has created what may now be considered one of the most powerful magazine covers of all time. As noted in the article, the stories of rape have stirred serious discussion, thanks in large part to social media.
But at the center of this scandal is a simple truth: There are millions of victims of sexual assault worldwide, but social stigma, among other factors, prevents many victims from speaking out and seeking help. A closer look at the numbers surrounding these crimes reveals even more disturbing trends. (And that’s not accounting for the fact that most rapes go unreported.)
To shed light on this subject, the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (Rainn.org), America’s largest anti-sexual violence organization, has compiled numbers from the FBI, Bureau of Statistics, and U.S. Department of Justice to give us a clearer picture of what is happening in the U.S. From the sheer volume of rapes, to convictions, to demographic breakdowns, these are the powerful statistics you need to know.
To learn more about victim demographics, offender demographics, state laws, reporting, and what you can do to prevent sexual assault, visit Rainn.org.
Curated by Karinna
Original Article
Good Sex Starts in the Mind
Beyond the Two Questions…
And, what Isadora offers is the logical progression from Page’s two questions on your quest to fulfilling sex: tailor-make your sex life, there are no two people who are alike, so drop the by-the-rule-book laws of sexual gratification which presume all women are the same and all men are the same.
“Human beings are each unique creatures and nothing is more individual than sexual predilections and pleasures,” she explains.
But people do not come with instruction manuals, and – while some have tried to write the book on good sex – there’s no one-stop shop to better sex. Isadora’s advice is simple, and comes down to one thing: pay attention.
That’s it. Pay attention to your body and your partners. Stop thinking about your wobbly bits (or his), and – in the spirit of mindfulness – try to focus on your own an your partner’s responses.
While Isadora is talking about body language stuff – small movements, breathes – you can actually ask. But not all people are sex-talkers. If you are paying attention to the body language you will find your answer soon enough.
“If ever actions speak louder than words,” says Isadora, “it’s the body language of a partner during sexual arousal.”
So what are the psychological steps to a satisfying, safe, sublime sex life? Pay attention to your partners needs and your own, and strive for that deeper connection: there’s no manual for meaningful sex, but there is a way of thinking which helps.
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Original Article
An “Erotic ART” moment in the South of France
I found an authentic paper-hanger uniform at a local thrift store to wear for the installation. We mixed up flour paste, and found an authentic brush to do the application work.
Then we waited for a Sunday morning. We fortified ourselves with breakfast in Villefranche and proceeded with a sense of purpose and adventure to create this frisky art installation.
The scene looked authentic and very French, just in case the Gend’armes would pass by. But being France, the alteration to a more passionate display drew no ones attention. C’est normal!
Erotic graffiti! An improvement to the route and my jubilation of accomplishing something tres silly!
Lastly, the piece de resistance!
It stayed up for weeks until the normal rotation change of billboards. We would imagine chauffeur driven countesses coming around the corner encountering just another orgasmic phallus in action!
J’adore the French joie de vivre erotic!
Original Piece by Artist J Gordon
LOVE TV
Monogamy = Monotony?—Why Couples Go Rogue
Can an open relationship be the key to happiness in your relationship? Challenging societal norms on monogamy may unlock hidden desires or reveal a level a honesty you’ve never experienced with a partner.
For many of us, the urge to couple up is a strong one. It might even be programmed into our DNA. But does love mean never dating or having sex with other people?
Several years ago, I decided to challenge the idea that the only way to a loving, committed relationship was to be monogamous. My then-boyfriend and I decided to try an open relationship. We were committed to each other, referred to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend, and were both allowed to date and be physically intimate with other people. We eventually broke up (for various reasons, most of which weren’t related to our openness), but since then I’ve remained interested in rethinking relationships—and it turns out I’m not alone.
Nonmonoga-me—Current Trends
Estimates suggest there are more than half a million openly polyamorous families in the U.S., and in 2010, an estimated eight million couples were practicing some form of nonmonogamy. Even among married couples, open relationships can be successful; some studies suggest they’re common in gay marriages.
For today’s 20- and 30-somethings, these trends are meaningful. More than 40 percent of millenials think marriage is “becoming obsolete” (compared to 43 percent of Gen Xers, 35 percent of baby boomers, and 32 percent of people aged 65-plus). And almost half of millenials say they view changes in family structures positively, compared to only a quarter of elderly respondents. In other words, monogamy—though a perfectly viable choice—doesn’t work for everyone.
It certainly wasn’t working for me. Blame it on a couple unhealthy relationships in my youth: For whatever reason, in my mind “monogamy” had come to be associated with possessiveness, jealousy, and claustrophobia—not quite what one desires from everlasting love. I wanted to care about someone without feeling owned by them, and I wanted that someone to feel the same way. Add to that the fact that I’d been single for a while (after having been in a monogamous relationship for even longer) and—I’m woman enough to admit it—wasn’t ready to give up the freedom to flirt with strangers. Beyond that, I wasn’t sure what I wanted, exactly, but I knew I didn’t want to feel suffocated by a partner. So when I started dating…let’s call him ‘Bryce,’ I geared myself up for hurt feelings, got over my own awkwardness, and broached it: Have you ever thought about having an open relationship?
Open relationships tend to fall into two general categories, says Greatist Expert and sex counselor Ian Kerner: Couples might negotiate a nonmonogamous arrangement like the one I had with Bryce, in which each individual has the freedom to date and/or have sex with people outside the relationship. Or couples will choose to swing, adventuring outside their monogamous relationship as a unit (having sex with other people together, as in a three-or-more-some). But these categories are pretty fluid, and they shift depending on a given couple’s needs and boundaries.
Monogamy = Monotony?—Why Couples Go Rogue
The tricky thing about relationships is they’re all different, so there’s no “one reason” why people decide to explore alternative relationship models. Still, there are a wide range of theories about why monogamy hasn’t proved universally satisfying. Some experts say it has roots in genetics: About 80 percent of primates are polygamous, and similar estimates apply to human hunter-gatherer societies. (Still, it’s not useful to get caught up in the “is it natural” argument, says Kerner: Variation is what’s natural, more so than monogamy or nonmonogamy.)
Other research suggests different people have different needs for a satisfying relationship. In The Monogamy Gap, Eric Anderson suggests open relationships allow partners to meet their respective needs without demanding more than one partner can give. There’s also a cultural component: Fidelity stats vary widely among cultures, and evidence suggests countries with more permissive attitudes toward sex also have longer-lasting marriages. In Nordic countries, many married couples openly discuss “parallel relationships”—ranging from drawn-out affairs to holiday flings—with their partners, yet marriage remains a respected institution. Then again, sex advice columnist Dan Savage says nonmonogamy might just come down to plain old boredom.
In short, there are as many reasons to be nonmonogamous as there are nonmonogamous people—and therein lies a bit of a problem. Even if a couple agrees to be nonmonogamous, their reasons for doing so might be in conflict. In my case, I wanted to be in a nonmonogamous relationship because I wanted to challenge social assumptions about love; Bryce wanted to be in a nonmonogamous relationship because I wanted to be in one, and he wanted to be with me. Perhaps not surprisingly, this stirred up conflict between us when I actually started seeing other people. While I was fine when Bryce made out with a mutual friend, he couldn’t stomach the thought of me doing the same. This eventually led to resentment on both sides and jealousy on his—and suddenly I found myself back in a claustrophobic relationship, arguing about who belonged to whom.
Should You Put a Ring on It? — New Directions
Not surprisingly, the green-eyed monster is a common challenge for nonmonogamous partners across the board, regardless of gender or sexuality. The best way to deal? Honesty. In numerous studies, open communication is the prime driver of relationship satisfaction (this is true in any relationship), and the best coping mechanism for jealousy. For couples venturing into opendom, it’s important for partners to communicate their needs and work out an agreement in advance of any rendezvous.
In retrospect, I should have been more honest with myself, and acknowledged that (regardless of what he said) Bryce didn’t really want to be nonmonogamous; it would have spared us both some heartache. It’s easy to be attracted to nonmonogamy’s sexier side, but it actually requires incredibly high levels of trust, communication, openness, and intimacy with your primary partner—meaning that just like monogamy, open relationships can be pretty stressful, and they’re certainly not for everyone. In other words, nonmonogamy is by no means a ticket out of relationship problems, and it might actually be a source of them. It can also be thrilling, rewarding, and enlightening.
No matter what, say experts, whether a couple decides to be open or monogamous should be a matter of choice. “When there is no stigma to having an open sexual relationship,”writes Anderson, “men and women will begin to be more honest about what they want…and how they desire to achieve it.”
As for me, these days I’m a one-man kinda gal—which I learned by being open.
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Original Article
Subtle Ways to Spark Passion with Your Partner
Keep your relationship steamy with these hot tips! What do you do to keep your relationship exciting?
1. Share the shower.
When your relationship advances, you eventually begin taking showers together. You scrub each other’s backs and sometimes even shampoo and condition each other’s hair.
2. Change clothes in front of each other.
Whether you live together or not, there is always a point where you change in front of your guy or gal. Finding socks for the other person, helping zip or fix something…it’s really helpful to have them there, especially when you aren’t sure if you’re looking good or not.
3. Make pillow talk.
I don’t mean the sort of intimate pillow talk for those with a dirty mind. I mean the conversations you share at the end of a long day when you lay down together. You ask how each other’s day was and how they’ve been feeling.
If you are not doing , do it now.
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Soul Sex: Transcending Lovemaking
Connecting on a deeper level than physical sexuality can unlock a deep well of passion and intense closeness. Have you transcended your lovemaking to Soul Sex?
Anyone can make love. Creating a love-making experience that takes you beyond orgasm is soul sex.
Ahhh! The art of love-making. Part I.
In today’s busy world where we fast forward through life often missing the best parts. We need to set aside dedicated time for quality sex if we want our relationship to survive. Soul Sex does not take place in 15 minutes. It requires patience, planning and will give you countless hours of exquisite pleasure.
In a series of 7 articles we will slowly go through the process of how to have the deep mind-body-soul connection that leads to great sex.
The ultimate love-making experience that goes beyond sex is where the expression, “I saw God!” comes from. This is the most amazing bliss that two people can have together. It is not an event that you can rush through to “get to the good stuff.” Orgasm is not the focus. Pleasure is. Building sexual tension slowly for a peak experience. You enjoy each moment as it comes. No pun intended.
Always begin with a squeaky clean body. I guarantee you that the fresher you are from the shower, the more varied the activities that will take place.
Set The Mood
Music can set the mood for anything, including sex. From Barry White to Marvin Gaye, there is a wide variety to choose from. Make sure you have lots of music lined up, as one song will not do, unless it’s Ravel’s Bolero. A link is provided here:
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Before you go any further, make sure you have your cell phones, and television turned off. Any interruption can jar you back to reality. You won’t want to be interrupted.
Blending Your Energies
Before the first touch, sit in front of each other, facing each other. Take a few moments to sit in silence and just breathe in the other. Without touching, close your eyes and enjoy your combined energy. This time will help you both get centered and calm from your day. Let each exhalation release all the negativity you have accumulated from the outside world.
Deep Eye Gazing
It begins with a look. A deep meaningful look where you gaze into your partners soul. You are not thinking about what to pick up at the grocery store, or texting while you are intermittently gazing into your partners eyes. With a soft focus on nothing else but each other. Keep your bodies from touching. Focus only on their eyes. You may laugh, or you may cry – be open to either. You have to able to allow your partner to see inside you. Be transparent. Do not try to hide or put up barriers to the other, you will miss the really deep intimacy you are creating.
Kissing
Kissing itself is an art. Some people can have an orgasm just by kissing. If you want your relationship to be more passionate or last, kiss more often. The hormone oxytocin is released as well as endorphins which make you feel good.
Think of velvet. Soft, gentle and delicate. Subtlety is an art. Instead of using your tongue and full-on lips, with lots of pressure, touch noses first, hesitate to join with your lips. Let the energy between you grow and build slowly. For more about Philemotology, the science of kissing follow the link.
Learn how to kiss in different ways. A kiss should not always be wet or with your tongue. Vary your styles and pressure. Your kiss is an indication of the kind of lover you are. It is the prelude of what is to come. You don’t always want to kiss in the same way. Sometimes being in touch with your feminine and masculine sides can have tremendous benefits. Kissing and sex should be a delight of all the senses. Not just touch. There is a delicate balance between barely enough, to keep your partner begging for more and too much tongue, wetness or too forceful. You want to begin slowly. A delicate tug on your partner’s lower lip, almost a bite, without the pain. Pull back and look at your partner. Are their eyes dilated? Are they getting aroused? Try kissing in different places, like the palm of your partner’s hand.
This event is not for you to prove something, but to delight. Move forward again this time more slowly so that you can smell each other’s skin.
Now that you have kissed lightly, brushing each other’s lips, allow yourself to begin closing in and embracing fully, at the same time kissing deeply allowing your tongue to enter your partner’s mouth. Allow your passion to rise, as it does your partner’s will also.
Curated by Erbe
Original Article