What a lot of people don’t understand about bisexuality is that who you end up dating does not void the fact that you’re attracted to more than one gender. Being with someone doesn’t mean you completely stop experiencing attraction. My mother understands this now. More people in general do, but there is still a big stigma surrounding the concept of bisexuality.

For years I thought I leaned more towards men. I would develop big, overwhelming, borderline unhealthy crushes. At least I thought they were crushes. I had my first sexual experience with a man when I was seventeen. I found out from the start that I hated blowjobs. I was very uncomfortable when it came to (cis) male genitalia. But my crushes continued regardless.

Since I started watching porn as a preteen, I had only watched lesbian porn. I didn’t know what it meant regarding my status as a bisexual woman. I would only develop romantic crushes on men, but I was only able to get off thinking about women. It was always to hard to explain that I was what would best be called a heteroromantic homosexual, so I just stuck with the bi label.

My first real boyfriend came along when I was nineteen. He was extremely into sex, and a lot of the time I had a hard time keeping up. We would have sex two or three times every day. And I liked it, for the most part. But it was the actual initial penetration part that I really didn’t like. I would only really be able to cum during oral sex. And a lot of the time that was because I was thinking about ladies. I never told him this.

5. Work with the curve and angle of your partner’s penis.

“Deep throating isn’t for everyone, but if it is something you want to do, having your mouth and throat match the angle of your partner’s penis can help. If they are curved or angled upward for instance, being on your knees below them would not work as well because their penis would be more likely to hit the roof of your mouth than go smoothly down your throat. In that case, have them lie down on a bed, kneel next to them facing their feet, and lean down until you’re comfortable. From there, open your throat like you would for a yawn ― now your partner’s penis can slide down your throat at a more comfortable and natural angle.” ― Amory Jane, a sex educator and education coordinator at She Bop, a sex toy boutique in Portland, Oregon 

6. Give him your undivided attention.

“Give him your attention, not his penis. Let him know you desire his pleasure and satisfaction by giving frequent eye contact, saying his name, asking him how he likes it or if he wants anything special. Eye contact also allows you to read his body language, to see how he responds to different techniques.” ― Melissa Jones 

7. Don’t forget “the boys.”

“To give a successful blow job, you have to pay attention to his balls. Go back and forth, popping each one into your mouth and going back every now and again to lick the whole sack area. I encourage starting your blow job here, actually; spending a bit of time with ‘the boys’ helps boost his arousal before you start bobbing ― the part where you’re most likely hurting your jaw.” ― Sasha Rene, founder of the Blow By Blow workshop in San Diego, California 

8. Be in the moment.

“You’re putting your partner’s most coveted body part in your mouth and between your teeth ― that takes an enormous amount of trust. Savor the experience. Show your partner how much you recognize this by treating their blow job with enthusiasm, focused attention and high regard.” ― Elle Chase

---

Curated by Timothy
Original Article

Kisspeptin is a new name given to a protein originally called metastatin, which at first glance seems like the cheesiest and most on-the-nose name ever, but it was actually named after the Hershey’s Kiss, after being identified in the home of the famous chocolate maker, Hershey, Pennsylvania.

Since kisspeptin boosts sexual and romantic brain activity, and decreases negative mood, its first practical application could be in infertile couples and also couples having issues with sexual dysfunction.  Infertile couples would also reap a side benefit kisspeptin has on the female reproductive system – it actually helps promote egg production and trigger ovulation, making fertility more likely.

“Our current work now shows for the first time that kisspeptin has a role in linking sex, emotion, and reproduction,” says NIHR Research Professor Waljit Dhillo, the lead author of the research from the Department of Medicine at Imperial College London . “As such, kisspeptin has potential promise to treat many aspects of disorders of reproductive function which cause infertility.”

Love and sex can seem very different – one is mental and emotional, and one can be simply physical.  Male sexual dysfunction is currently treated that affect the vascular system like Viagra– which are purely physical, and generate an erection no matter what is happening emotionally.  Since many ED issues are actually psychological, kisspeptin would benefit with a mental effect, possibly removing roadblocks to love and intimacy that the man is experiencing that may prevent his erection.  It’s interesting that the thing that links the physical and mental aspects of love could be this hormone.

Doctors also think that due to the mood-enhancing effects, it could be used to treat depression.

The effect of kisspeptin on women’s love and sex feelings has not yet been studied.  The team in London wants to expand the study and try kisspeptin on women next.

Maybe one day, we can inject spark to a marriage that’s run out, and have a love potion that really works!

“There isn’t a lot of research in this area,” said Kristen Mark, a sexuality researcher at Indiana University, “but we’re bombarded with images through mainstream media that tell us moaning is associated with orgasm and sexual pleasure. So it would be a fairly wise faking strategy to moan since men already tend to associate moaning with orgasm.”

Of course, there’s nothing smart about faking it.

“If you’re faking an orgasm, you are signaling to your partner that he is doing everything right, when in fact he isn’t,” sex educator and author Patty Brisben said. “Use moaning as a way of signaling that you are excited and things really are feeling good, not as a way to hide that they aren’t.”

Fake or not, women aren’t the only primates who vocalize during sex. Research in the animal kingdom reveals that female baboons, for example, have a variety of copulation calls, which appear to relate to their fertility: The vocalizations tend to become more complex when the females are closer to ovulation and vary when a female is mating with a higher-ranked male baboon. Female macaque monkeys give a shout to help trigger their mates’ orgasm, too.

Performances and primatologists aside, vocalizing during sex can actually be a great tool to help women get what they want in bed. As I discussed in my column on the topic of talking about sex, it isn’t always easy to translate sexual thought into action, so a little strategic moaning can definitely help get the point across.

“Women are learning to take responsibility for their own sexual needs and wants in the bedroom,” Brisben explained. “We need to take this one step further and give ourselves permission to become teachers. Use vocalization to teach your partner what feels good. It can help you say, ‘stop, go, yes, more please,’ without sounding like a traffic cop.”

Lee is also willing to put herself out there for what and whom she wants (spoiler: it’s E. Edward), consequences be damned. In this era where vulnerability is in short supply, it’s refreshing to watch a character go balls-to-the-wall for what she wants in her personal life. This quality is also what helps E. Edward come around. Initially fighting his dominant instincts, and then ashamed of them, it’s Lee who draws him out, wanting him and his kinks.

“Secretary” was truly ahead of its time. In addition to taking a non-judgmental tone towards the kinky main characters, various scenes involve female masturbation and fantasies, frustration and miscommunication with a partner, and ambivalence towards making a lifelong commitment to someone. There’s also a very awkward sex scene with cringingly obvious desire differentials between partners.

This wider look at relationships is aided by the fact that women figured prominently in the film’s creation. “Secretary” was based on a short story in Mary Gaitskill’s collection “Bad Behavior.” Erin Cressida Wilson wrote the screenplay. It’s safe to say that “Secretary” would’ve been very different if women weren’t key creatives on the project.

“Secretary” creates a compelling portrait of a woman finding herself through her sexual kink, and allowing her partner to embrace his kink. It was a radical notion in 2002, and still a powerful message in 2017. Hopefully one day, this concept will be so commonplace it won’t raise any eyebrows.

The healthy role of sexuality in the women’s and couple’s life is a 15-20% factor. Sexuality energizes your bond and reinforces feelings of desire and desirability. Paradoxically, dysfunctional, conflicting, or avoidant sexuality has an inordinately powerful role, draining intimacy and threatening relational stability.

The major inhibitors for female sexual desire are power struggles (especially frequency of intercourse) and predictable, routine sex. In addition, coercion, anger, blaming, performance pressure, and placating the partner sexually subvert female desire. What promotes healthy female and couple sexual desire are positive anticipation and a sense of deserving sexual pleasure. In addition, freedom, choice, pleasure, and unpredictability enhance desire.  Healthy female and couple sexuality is facilitated by combining intimacy, non-demand pleasuring, and erotic scenarios and techniques. A core concept is the woman views the man as her intimate and erotic ally, not her critic or someone who pushes her to sexually prove herself.

A key concept is mutual, synchronous sexual experiences are most highly valued (i.e. both partners experience desire, pleasure, eroticism, and satisfaction). However, when both people recognize the inherent complexity of couple sexuality rather than demand perfect sex performance sexual desire will thrive. The woman (and couple) who embrace multiple roles and meanings of sexuality can enjoy both synchronous and asynchronous sexual experiences, and value sensual, playful, and erotic scenarios in addition to intercourse will have strong, resilient desire.

I don’t know how to describe what a vagina should smell like, but I can tell you what it shouldn’t smell like,” says Mary Jane Minkin, M.D., clinical professor of obstetrics, gynecology, and reproductive sciences at Yale University School of Medicine. “The vagina shouldn’t smell like rotten fish or anything rotting. [That odor] is from bacterial vaginosis, which is really an imbalance of good guy and bad guy bacteria (the bad guys are the anaerobic bacteria which tend to be overgrowing, and anaerobes classically produce a foul or rotting type odor).”

The pH of the vagina is an important gauge for what’s going on down there.

“Many women notice after having their periods that there is a different odor,” says Sara Gottfried, M.D., founder and medical director of The Gottfried Center for Integrative Medicine and author of The Hormone Cure. ” A lot of women notice a change in scent after having sex. Semen is really basic—it has a pH of around eight—so when you have sex, it changes the pH in the vagina to the basic side of things.”

The good news is that vaginas are self-cleaning and they naturally produce some discharge that helps to eject germs and bacteria out of your body, like a bouncer at the exclusive Vagina Club. You have regular discharge, which is mostly white with a little yellow, but when it’s grey or neon green or yellow, that’s not good.

If your vagina is itchy or there’s pain, those are signs that something isn’t right. You might have an infection or something more serious, and should see your doctor as soon as possible.

“Another thing that we do see causing bad odors is a retained tampon,” said Dr. Minkin. “If someone does notice a foul odor, check in for a retained tampon (something folks forget to take out at the end of their period). If they find one and cannot remove it, call the health care provider to remove it. That’s one of the few times a douche would be helpful, and then follow it up with some RepHresh, an over-the-counter solution that helps keep the pH levels healthy.”

As far as smell goes, Dr. Minkin says, “There are times I do see women who complain of an odor, and I don’t smell anything abnormal. The one thing I strongly discourage women from doing is using scented products in the vagina, because that tissue is the most delicate in the body, and the most sensitive to irritation like an allergen.”

For the most part, don’t mess with your vagina. It knows how to take care of itself. If you do see or smell something that doesn’t seem right, have a health care professional check it out.

---

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

2. You’re guaranteed to wake up on the right side of the bed.

Sex in the morning gets you — and the day — off right. Researchers from the University of Cincinnati found that morning sex is a natural stress-reliever and these effects can last for at least seven days, meaning your early Monday romp could ease those Sunday Blues. Morning sex also increases levels of IgA, an antibody that helps to fight against infection, according to Dr. Debby Herbenick, an American research scientist and author of “Because It Feels Good.” It’s like taking your daily vitamins… only way more pleasurable.

3. You can skip the gym.

It’s a way better alternative to a morning workout before hopping into the shower. Scientists confirm that an hour of sex burns almost as many calories as a 30-minute jog. After an hour, men and women burn an average of 240 calories and 180 calories, respectively. While that length of straight thrusting might be wishful thinking (unless you’re of the jack-hammer variety), like any good exercise routine, at least you’ll have something to work up to.

4. Who doesn’t want to begin the day with an orgasm?

It’s like Christmas morning — there’s a package waiting for you to enjoy. And everyone scores.

5. Because your clothes are already off.

This does make for a speedier process, which is key for weekday mornings. Heed the advice of great philosopher and first man to state the obvious, Aristotle, ”If everyone is naked, it only follows then that we should have sex.” Wise guy.

6. You can carpool after.

Who needs to drive to work when you’re already riding dirty?

7. It’s more intimate.

The few minutes we have to ourselves after first opening our eyes are special. Most people who you’re in regular contact with have no idea what you look, sound, smell and feel like first thing in the morning. It’s a rare moment to others that’s all to yourself. Fill that moment in with another person and it becomes a shared secret privy to only you two. That’s what makes morning sex so intimate. It’s stripped of everything — clothes, makeup, the weight of a day’s events, toothpaste, priorities — and somehow leaves you feeling fuller.