The fact that I wasn’t into penetration made me question my entire sexuality. That paired with the overall terrible experience I had with my ex-boyfriend led me to thinking I was asexual. I even took the Kinsey Scale test and was graded with an X rating, meaning I didn’t experience sexual attraction to anyone. This was a label that I stuck with for a while. One thing I’m grateful for regarding society’s current view on sexuality is the number of labels I could attach to myself. So the label became biromantic asexual.

But after a while that didn’t seem to work either. I kept thinking about my sexual attraction to exclusively women. I realized most of the “crushes” I had on men were actually a BPD-related psychological attachment, with very little sexual attraction attached. So I started to think about the fact that I might be gay. I didn’t want to say I was definitely a lesbian, as I wasn’t sure if that label fit. I could still see myself falling in love with a man, but I also knew that if I did I wouldn’t be sexually attracted to him. I decided to forget about specifics and just use the blanket term queer.

I still feel a lack of definitiveness using this term. Labels are important to me, and I want to know specifics. But I’m coming to terms with the fact that I may not get one. Sexuality is fluid for me, and I know if I stuck to one label one day I would just begin to question it the next day. So I’m going to just stick with queer. That is a label I am happy with, and one that can effortlessly say that I am attracted to all genders in a wide variety of ways.

5. Work with the curve and angle of your partner’s penis.

“Deep throating isn’t for everyone, but if it is something you want to do, having your mouth and throat match the angle of your partner’s penis can help. If they are curved or angled upward for instance, being on your knees below them would not work as well because their penis would be more likely to hit the roof of your mouth than go smoothly down your throat. In that case, have them lie down on a bed, kneel next to them facing their feet, and lean down until you’re comfortable. From there, open your throat like you would for a yawn ― now your partner’s penis can slide down your throat at a more comfortable and natural angle.” ― Amory Jane, a sex educator and education coordinator at She Bop, a sex toy boutique in Portland, Oregon 

6. Give him your undivided attention.

“Give him your attention, not his penis. Let him know you desire his pleasure and satisfaction by giving frequent eye contact, saying his name, asking him how he likes it or if he wants anything special. Eye contact also allows you to read his body language, to see how he responds to different techniques.” ― Melissa Jones 

7. Don’t forget “the boys.”

“To give a successful blow job, you have to pay attention to his balls. Go back and forth, popping each one into your mouth and going back every now and again to lick the whole sack area. I encourage starting your blow job here, actually; spending a bit of time with ‘the boys’ helps boost his arousal before you start bobbing ― the part where you’re most likely hurting your jaw.” ― Sasha Rene, founder of the Blow By Blow workshop in San Diego, California 

8. Be in the moment.

“You’re putting your partner’s most coveted body part in your mouth and between your teeth ― that takes an enormous amount of trust. Savor the experience. Show your partner how much you recognize this by treating their blow job with enthusiasm, focused attention and high regard.” ― Elle Chase

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Curated by Timothy
Original Article

Kisspeptin is a new name given to a protein originally called metastatin, which at first glance seems like the cheesiest and most on-the-nose name ever, but it was actually named after the Hershey’s Kiss, after being identified in the home of the famous chocolate maker, Hershey, Pennsylvania.

Since kisspeptin boosts sexual and romantic brain activity, and decreases negative mood, its first practical application could be in infertile couples and also couples having issues with sexual dysfunction.  Infertile couples would also reap a side benefit kisspeptin has on the female reproductive system – it actually helps promote egg production and trigger ovulation, making fertility more likely.

“Our current work now shows for the first time that kisspeptin has a role in linking sex, emotion, and reproduction,” says NIHR Research Professor Waljit Dhillo, the lead author of the research from the Department of Medicine at Imperial College London . “As such, kisspeptin has potential promise to treat many aspects of disorders of reproductive function which cause infertility.”

Love and sex can seem very different – one is mental and emotional, and one can be simply physical.  Male sexual dysfunction is currently treated that affect the vascular system like Viagra– which are purely physical, and generate an erection no matter what is happening emotionally.  Since many ED issues are actually psychological, kisspeptin would benefit with a mental effect, possibly removing roadblocks to love and intimacy that the man is experiencing that may prevent his erection.  It’s interesting that the thing that links the physical and mental aspects of love could be this hormone.

Doctors also think that due to the mood-enhancing effects, it could be used to treat depression.

The effect of kisspeptin on women’s love and sex feelings has not yet been studied.  The team in London wants to expand the study and try kisspeptin on women next.

Maybe one day, we can inject spark to a marriage that’s run out, and have a love potion that really works!

And when it comes to noise, “partner benefit isn’t the only piece of the puzzle,” Mark said. “Perhaps making noise turns some women on and helps them experience pleasure.”

Brisben concurred: “I think there are many women who need to be vocal to help themselves achieve orgasm. It helps move them and their orgasm along. There are certainly phases. As a woman gets into it, she may become extremely vocal and then move into a period of quiet as she is on the verge.”

So do what feels right to you. Any other benefits are just a great bonus. And when it comes to “copulatory vocalization,” perhaps men should take a lesson from the ladies.

“Women understand that moaning is a turn-on for guys, and many women ultimately enjoy it because they’ve made an effort to push a little beyond what comes naturally,” said Logan Levkoff, a sex educator and author of a guide for men entitled “How To Get Your Wife to Have Sex With You.”

“But sexual self-esteem is a two-way street, and, for their part during sex, guys should aim for more than a single grunt at the end. It’s not about faking or doing something you don’t want to, but more about being sexually present and in sync with each other.”

So let’s all make some noise.

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Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Lee is also willing to put herself out there for what and whom she wants (spoiler: it’s E. Edward), consequences be damned. In this era where vulnerability is in short supply, it’s refreshing to watch a character go balls-to-the-wall for what she wants in her personal life. This quality is also what helps E. Edward come around. Initially fighting his dominant instincts, and then ashamed of them, it’s Lee who draws him out, wanting him and his kinks.

“Secretary” was truly ahead of its time. In addition to taking a non-judgmental tone towards the kinky main characters, various scenes involve female masturbation and fantasies, frustration and miscommunication with a partner, and ambivalence towards making a lifelong commitment to someone. There’s also a very awkward sex scene with cringingly obvious desire differentials between partners.

This wider look at relationships is aided by the fact that women figured prominently in the film’s creation. “Secretary” was based on a short story in Mary Gaitskill’s collection “Bad Behavior.” Erin Cressida Wilson wrote the screenplay. It’s safe to say that “Secretary” would’ve been very different if women weren’t key creatives on the project.

“Secretary” creates a compelling portrait of a woman finding herself through her sexual kink, and allowing her partner to embrace his kink. It was a radical notion in 2002, and still a powerful message in 2017. Hopefully one day, this concept will be so commonplace it won’t raise any eyebrows.

An empowering concept involves “responsive female sexual desire”. Rather than using the male model of spontaneous erections, sexual fantasies, and desire for orgasm, the woman realizes that often she begins an encounter at neutral and as she is responsive to touching and being touched and  open to her and his emotional needs; she experiences desire. Her desire is responsive to intimacy and pleasure. As importantly she has choices, including choosing a synchronous intercourse experience (an optimal outcome). In addition, she has the freedom to enjoy a sensual encounter, a synchronous or asynchronous erotic encounter, or hold him while he stimulates himself to orgasm. Freedom, choice, and unpredictability facilitate sexual desire.

Sexually, one size never fits all. This motivating, empowering approach involves the woman valuing her unique sexual voice and their couple sexual style of desire, pleasure, eroticism, and satisfaction.

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Curated by Erbe
Original Article

I don’t know how to describe what a vagina should smell like, but I can tell you what it shouldn’t smell like,” says Mary Jane Minkin, M.D., clinical professor of obstetrics, gynecology, and reproductive sciences at Yale University School of Medicine. “The vagina shouldn’t smell like rotten fish or anything rotting. [That odor] is from bacterial vaginosis, which is really an imbalance of good guy and bad guy bacteria (the bad guys are the anaerobic bacteria which tend to be overgrowing, and anaerobes classically produce a foul or rotting type odor).”

The pH of the vagina is an important gauge for what’s going on down there.

“Many women notice after having their periods that there is a different odor,” says Sara Gottfried, M.D., founder and medical director of The Gottfried Center for Integrative Medicine and author of The Hormone Cure. ” A lot of women notice a change in scent after having sex. Semen is really basic—it has a pH of around eight—so when you have sex, it changes the pH in the vagina to the basic side of things.”

The good news is that vaginas are self-cleaning and they naturally produce some discharge that helps to eject germs and bacteria out of your body, like a bouncer at the exclusive Vagina Club. You have regular discharge, which is mostly white with a little yellow, but when it’s grey or neon green or yellow, that’s not good.

If your vagina is itchy or there’s pain, those are signs that something isn’t right. You might have an infection or something more serious, and should see your doctor as soon as possible.

“Another thing that we do see causing bad odors is a retained tampon,” said Dr. Minkin. “If someone does notice a foul odor, check in for a retained tampon (something folks forget to take out at the end of their period). If they find one and cannot remove it, call the health care provider to remove it. That’s one of the few times a douche would be helpful, and then follow it up with some RepHresh, an over-the-counter solution that helps keep the pH levels healthy.”

As far as smell goes, Dr. Minkin says, “There are times I do see women who complain of an odor, and I don’t smell anything abnormal. The one thing I strongly discourage women from doing is using scented products in the vagina, because that tissue is the most delicate in the body, and the most sensitive to irritation like an allergen.”

For the most part, don’t mess with your vagina. It knows how to take care of itself. If you do see or smell something that doesn’t seem right, have a health care professional check it out.

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Curated by Erbe
Original Article

8. Because shower sex just doesn’t cut it.

The water in your face, the slippery surfaces (especially where feet are concerned!), the soap in places that can’t support life with soap — shower sex is like the sh*tty water park version of intercourse you indulge in when you have nothing better to do over the summer. Morning sex is the more fun, cooler theme park. Better than Disney.

9. It affirms that you two are still interested in each other sober.

Any sex that is not drunk and sloppy means there’s hope. When the lights are on, it’s even better getting off.

10. Because you love an excuse to gloat at work.

Coworker 1: How was your night? You: I had amazing morning sex.
Coworker 2: I’m so stressed. You: Morning sex could fix that. I would know. Coworker 3: Where do you want to go for lunch? You: Some place where they sell morning sex all day.

11. It’s a better replacement for coffee.

Sex gets you going first thing in the morning. A poke in the back jolts you awake in a way that caffeine can’t. If you become addicted, we understand.

12. You leave on a high.

Morning sex is ending the night on a good note. Especially in more “foreign” bedrooms, post-morning sex acts as an inoffensive cue to exit. We f*cked. Now SCRAM!

13. There’s nothing like a good c*ck rooster to wake you up.

Exposed early breath, post-coital glow, natural daylight to contour your face — morning sex makes waking up early totally worth it.

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Curated by Erbe
Original Article