Sex Archives - Page 13 of 29 - Love TV

Category: Sex

Do You Want This More Than Sex?

by zfortadminin RELATIONSHIPS, Sex

The majority of women have told me that they want more intimacy in their relationships. Women want to feel connected with their partner and genuinely loved.

When referring to the complex area of sex, making blanket statements such as men want………..and women want………… is difficult to do because it oversimplifies an extremely personal and individualistic issue.

Clearly there is a wide variety of kinds of sexual relationships and experiences that people can share and enjoy.

To be more precise, what men and women each want in the area of sex needs to be defined on an individual basis. Thus, whatever a person is missing or longs for with regards to the subject of sex is simply what that person needs at that time in their life. For example, some women enjoy having a lot of tenderness and affection but crave a little intensity in the bedroom. Other women may experience their share of intense, physical sex but desire more affection, consideration, and gentleness for balance.

Yet when looking at the population as a whole and talking with a great number of people, some conclusions can be drawn based upon the majority.

Over the years what women have told me they want spans quite a diverse range. Yet the majority of women have told me that they want more intimacy in their relationships. Women want to feel connected with their partner and genuinely loved. They usually want to be told why their man loves them, and what it is about her that he recognizes as special. Women have often said they want to be held more, kissed more, caressed more, touched more, and talked to more. If they were to have more sex, they want it to be more passionate love-making. They want more intimacy in and out of the bedroom.

Women also need to be acknowledged for what they contribute to the family and their man’s life. They need to be respected as intelligent and capable, and appreciated for all of their wonderful attributes and special features. The average woman wants more hugs, more affection, more intimacy regularly. They want to be told often that they are beautiful, that their partner enjoys them, and that their man wants to be with them.

Often men can get along without reinforcement and intimacy for long periods of time, and so they assume the same is true for women. Unfortunately quite a few men still think they can sustain a woman with occasional bursts of intimacy, such as a nice gift, or a rare verbal acknowledgment. But most women need and want more than just sporadic maintenance intimacy. They need daily attentionto keep them running smoothly and happily.

After couples marry, many men only put forth the effort to show what they think is the necessary amount of romance. They sometimes base their conclusions on how much they need, and then give just a little more.

It’s not the flowers, chocolates, poems or gifts that women really want. What they really want are the gestures that show that their partner loves them and cares enough to expend some energy showing it!

Women typically expect and appreciate much more involvement from their relationships. They usually want more consistant and enthusiastic expressions of love and affection. They want to know, regularly, that they aren’t being taken for granted.

Many marriages eventually end because men never really take their partner’s needs seriously.

Many of the married women that I’ve talked with who have had extramarital affairs said they fell for men who were interested in them, who talked with and listened to them. The men they were drawn to were enthused about them and showed it. The feelings of respect, appreciation, and passion were missing in their marriage. It is my belief that missing those feelings of intimacy has led more women to have affairs than a mere sexual attraction.

Women who have high self-esteem and believe in equality aren’t satisfied with just being a sexual object. They want to be seen as much more than that, and rightfully resent some men’s attempts to have them be just a sex toy. Many women resent a man’s ability to, or interest in having uninvolved sex. Many expect more from their partner than just sex.

Most women aren’t satisfied if the physical sex is all they have. Even if they regularly experience orgasms, most women will get bored if that’s all their sex life consists of. They must feel love and connection with their partner as well. While this may not be news to women, quite a few men either don’t know this or don’t really take it seriously.

For many women, even though they may enjoy orgasms and the physical sensations, sex is more of a vehicle for making love and sharing affection and intimacy with their partner. The more a man understands and respects this the better off he’ll be in the long run. Since women often say they need to feel more loved, if they did, they may feel more inclined to have more sex, which is what many men say they would like.

Thankfully, for both genders, an increasing number of women today feel free to take more initiative and allow themselves to experience sex for pleasure and intimacy. Today more women are able to ask for more of what they want and need from their partner. Successful relationships usually include a man who respects this quality in his female counterpart.

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Why There’s No Such Thing as Casual Sex

by Gina Cloudin Sex

Sometimes I think we’re just masturbating and using each others bodies to do it because we’re not present with each other as human beings, in our consciousness, nor in the heart.  Both men and women need to stop being so afraid to be vulnerable with each other. If we’re able to figure out whether someone is trustable with our vulnerability, then when we take the step to get naked with them, the chances of having an amazing experience sexually go up exponentially. But we are all fucking each other too soon and without any regard for whether that person who we are about to enter or be entered by is someone that we are really aligned with in other more important ways.

And yet there are times when two people come together who may be total strangers but because of their capacity for vulnerability or intimacy can have a very powerful experience with one another. That is rare but could also very well be the norm if we were all working on cultivating a capacity for vulnerability and intimacy with ourselves first. If we did that, we would value ourselves in a higher way and we wouldn’t just jump into bed with anyone just because we have an urge. You would have more self-respect and that would cause you to honor your own sexuality as something precious.

You want to have amazing soul-stirring sex? Then stop treating it as a casual thing.

Another reason it’s not casual? Seems like everybody I talk to these days has to do a little something -something before they have sex with somebody that they’re not really connected to. A little bit of weed, some pills, Viagra, a few drinks, or other more addictive substances.   You’re overriding your body’s desire not to be with someone in many of these instances and you’re also numbing yourself from the vulnerability inherent in sexual congress.   That’s why when it’s over, you feel awkward and vulnerable, and exiting stage left, or right is on your mind.  A guy friend of mine once told me that often after having sex just for sex, he’d wish that woman would turn into a six-pack and a pizza as soon as he came.  I know some of you guys are thinking, “yep.”

When was the last time you got really truly naked with somebody, not just taking off your clothes, and not either numbing yourself or stimulating yourself artificially with a substance of any kind? That’s where the vulnerability starts and that’s what people are running from, but it’s one of the main ingredients in soul-stirring sex.  Why? Because it is the foundation for intimacy, without which we can only feel empty and disconnected from either ourselves, the person we just had sex with or both, depending on our level of self-awareness.

We are all longing for deep connection in our lives.  The internet helps us connect in certain ways, but it isolates us in others.  If we were all having intimate, connected sexual experiences, the world would be a peaceful, happy place.  That may seem idealistic, but think about how you feel when you’ve had a deep sexual exchange with someone.  Not an orgasm, but a real merging, where the two become one, as we say in tango.  Orgasm is the end in casual sex, but the beginning in deep soul-stirring sex, because when the energy of orgasm is released physically, from a state of intimacy, it lends healing energy to both parties, draws two people deeper into each other, and closer to higher states of consciousness.  Orgasm after casual sex often leaves both people feeling awkward, empty and lonely beneath the surface of whatever physical pleasure you may experience.

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Hands on Sexual Healing from a Man

by zfortadminin Sex

“I measure every request for sexual activity by its ‘clinical value.’ One of my clients came to the therapy session and asked the therapist if she could bring me to a nightclub. And the therapist asked her why. She was a 37-year-old virgin, by the way. She said, ‘I love music, I love dancing, I’m dancing in my living room. I want to go out and start dating. And I know at some point that I would like to go to a dance club with a guy I will be dating, but at my age, it’s pretty embarrassing to be a virgin in this context. I don’t know how to act, how to get into the club, how to order drinks. I don’t want to go on a date with someone to the club without having any prior experience.’ I found that to be a ‘clinical need.’ There’s a difference between a sexual need and a clinical need.
“I always give options to my clients, I ask what they want to learn, and based on the options, they get to choose. Most of them don’t know what’s out there. That’s the job of the sex therapist and myself. We teach them what’s out there. I want to provide my clients with the skills and the capacity to not feel fear in the dating world. I want to help them gain confidence and feel empowered in the world of dating. But SPT isn’t a place to explore fetishes or kink. This is more advanced.

“Do I ever have trouble getting aroused? I get asked this question around 10,000 times. An erection is a manifestation of sexual energy—sexual arousal is formed by sexual energy. There are many levels and layers from which we can generate sexual energy with a partner, from humor to intelligence. That can all be translated into sexual arousal. Unfortunately, most people are focused on looks. What I found is that with every one of my clients, I focus on the things that could be translated into sexual energy and an erection when I needed it. Of course, a certain amount of emotions and feelings have to be activated for that to happen. And no, I never use medication to help with my erection.

“I’ve been very private about my work. I was very open with my family and my close friends from the very beginning, when I first started. But I don’t tend to share that information with just anybody. For the few first years of doing it, I felt it was too private, too personal for me to talk about it publicly. But I learned that by sharing, I can educate and help more people.

“That said, if I was talking to someone at a bar and got asked what I did for a living, I’d say I was a sexologist.
“But let me be clear: I’m not there to get sexually satisfied. By the time I was 24, I got bored with just having sex and ejaculating. For women, they know that when they have sex, they might have an orgasm or they might not. For guys, it’s pretty much guaranteed. I got bored with that pretty early in life. I had different sexual experiences with different women, but I was looking for something greater. And I found it. The happiness and satisfaction of the woman is now more important to me. I have individuals I have intimate relationships with—multiple relationships—this is where I get my needs met when I’m not wearing my clinical hat. As a surrogate partner, you have to find satisfaction—emotional satisfaction, sexual satisfaction—outside of work, because you can’t project those needs onto the client. You can’t go to a session when your body is hungry for touch.”

Question: Possibility or Out of the Question?

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When You Haven’t Had Sex with Your Partner in a Long Time

by zfortadminin Sex

I’m attracted to him, but I haven’t been able to get closer.

My husband and I have not had sex in a year and a half. We’ve had sex maybe 10 times in the last five years. I am a sexual trauma survivor. These two things are directly related, but it’s taken me years to make the connection.

Our sex life wasn’t always like this. For the first six months of our relationship, we had sex all the time. Passionate, mind-blowing sex, in fact. Knock-your-socks off sex. So you can imagine my husband’s confusion when I suddenly seemed to lose interest.

It was around the time we moved in together, and I didn’t know what was wrong. We thought it was hormonal, and I switched birth control. We thought it was related to some major life changes, so we waited it out. We thought it was a difference in libido, so we tried things like taking sex off the table for a month. We tried hooking up but not having intercourse. I started going to therapy. The problem only got worse.

My husband began to feel like I wasn’t attracted to him anymore. He stopped trying to initiate things. He grew resentful. We talked about options like opening our marriage. We had a lot of conversations about the fact that this wasn’t fair or what he wanted in a relationship. Since I have also been interested in women, he questioned whether I was attracted to men at all.

Meanwhile, I felt despondent. I felt detached and numb. I knew I was attracted to my husband, because I felt it. But I didn’t want to have sex. I wanted to kiss and cuddle without it leading to anything else. Sometimes I’d give into some form of sexual activity, but I always felt empty and used afterwards. There was always an elephant in the room. It felt like it was between us when we got into bed at night.

What’s funny is that I’m a certified rape crisis counselor. I can talk about the effects of sexual trauma on sex until I’m blue in the face. But I couldn’t internalize it and apply it to my own life. I was sure that there was a different problem. I swore that my trauma hadn’t affected me to that level. And for years, I used sex as a coping mechanism.

In the years leading up to meeting my husband, I found myself joining the “sex positive” movement. I wore it like a badge of liberation. I was determined to take back my body. I found BDSM and kink, and I jumped in with abandon. I thought I was free. It’s only now, with clear vision, that I can look back and see that I was not in an emotionally healthy place to be making these kinds of decisions. At the time, I viewed a lot of these activities as consensual but I recognize now that I was not emotionally healthy enough to be consenting. It is absolutely possible to participate in fully consensual BDSM. But for me, at that time, I wasn’t capable of it and I didn’t realize it. And the result of this is that it traumatized me more.

That all came to a head for me when my husband and I moved in. What I know now, that I didn’t know then, is that all of this is normal. What I know now, that I couldn’t internalize then, is that I was coping in the best way I knew how. And it’s because of the safety that I finally felt with my husband and in our relationship that the symptoms of my trauma finally shone through. And now I’m left undoing not only the harm that other people have done to me, but the harm I caused myself under the guise of sexual liberation.

Today, my husband and I are seeing a wonderful counselor. What we’ve learned, together, is that it’s normal for sex to be great at the beginning and to taper off when the survivor begins to feel “safe.” My dissociation and numbness around sex are also normal. It was hard for him to understand at first, because dissociation doesn’t look traumatic to someone witnessing it; it just looks like lack of enthusiasm. Which is why, for so long, my husband thought I just wasn’t into sex with him. As we, and I, start to work through this stuff, I get triggered. It gets hard. It gets uncomfortable. But I choose to think of it as progress, as a sign that I’m beginning to move through the numbing phase and onto the healing phase.

We both know that we have a long road ahead of us. We know that we won’t go back to having wonderful, consistent sex tomorrow, or even next week. But now that we’re both on the same page and the problem is clear, we feel a freedom and a closeness that we haven’t felt in a long time. The fact that we’re tackling this together brings us an intimacy that we lost when we stopped having sex. And while having regular date nights and finding activities to do together doesn’t bring quite the same intimacy that sex does, we’re taking steps in the direction of healing and we both finally feel hopeful that one day, we’ll have sex again.

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A Foot Turn On

by zfortadminin Sex

How else do you work feet into your sex life?

Woman A: I like to worship my guy’s feet. I like to caress them and grip them softly with my hands. Tease his toes with my lips to kiss, give it soft licks with my tongue and suck it softly to get his attention. That will lead to other things…
Man A: Foot jobs are awesome, but they’re not the only thing you can do. You can worship her feet, which includes kissing, licking, massaging them, sucking her toes, smelling them — if you’re into that. There are different moments to do those things. For instance, I don’t mind giving my girlfriend a foot massage when she asks for one, but sometimes those innocent massages put her in the mood and can turn into something else. I love it when that happens. Certain positions, such as the ones where you can put her ankles on your shoulders, allow you to lick her feet or suck her toes. I’m also into female dominance, during which feet can be used in many ways, but that’s a different story.
Man B: Sniff them, inhaling deeply.

How do you bring up your interest in feet with your partner(s)?

Woman A: Early in the relationship, when I gave him a pedicure, he started to keep his feet clean. I loved that about him. I always look at his feet whether we are outside or in the house. I tell him how his feet look nice and smooth, then I slowly massage his feet with grip, and I like it when he says “mmm.”
Man A: I don’t have a problem with confidence about this fetish, so I just mention it at some early point in the relationship. Maybe I start by complimenting her feet, or I kiss them after giving her a massage, but sometimes during the “ankles on shoulders” positions I instinctively lick her soles and she ends up asking. The best thing is to be direct.
Man B: Stick my wife’s toes in my mouth. Just start sucking.

What’s the best/worst reaction you’ve had from someone?

Man A: The best reaction was when she ended up being the one asking me to worship her feet after I introduced her to my fetish. The worst, I don’t know, I guess when another woman didn’t like it, but at least she tried. I’ve been lucky in that respect — like my 17-year-old self, my partners have been curious about it instead of just calling me a freak and never considering it.
Man B: The best reaction was licking someone’s foot in a club who I had only just met (the grimey foot mentioned above).

Do you have any advice for Cosmo readers considering exploring a foot fetish?

Woman A: If you are curious about it, explore it with your partner. Play around with his foot with your own. If your partner takes good care of their feet, give a compliment and caress them. Have fun with it. #FootFetish.
Man A: I guess “don’t knock it till you try it,” really. A foot fetish is one of the most innocuous fetishes out there. It’s also safe sex. If you give it a try and discover you like it, then that’s great, and if it does nothing to you, at least you’ll have a fun/awkward story.
Man B: Just go for it. Don’t resist. #FEET.

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The Hottest New Sex Tape

by zfortadminin Sex

5. Pros And Cons Of The Sex Tape

So, are there any benefits to reap from this naughty and forbidden act?

Similar to other sexual activities, filming personal sexual experiences can be considered an exercise of trust and intimacy. Couples can discuss their sexual interests and fantasies and feel closer, which will improve the likelihood of a satisfying sex life. It gives couples a bird’s eye view for improvement.

“If you think about watching the tapes like a game tape, you can use the footage to honestly share the moments that were most enjoyable. It is also interesting to note what you were focused on during certain positions or any particular acts that took you out of the moment,” Harris said.

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The sex tape becomes a memory part of a video scrapbook. It allows couples to think about how great they look now, and how they will want to preserve that because their bodies will change.

“Taking a risk and making a memory together, as well as doing something that you don’t do with others, are all factors that bond a couple together,” Masini said.

6. The Sex Tape: To Do Or Not To Do

The desire to film ourselves can simply remain a desire. It’s best to talk about it extensively before doing it. Both partners need to be in a comfort zone, so they can understand why they want to do this, the implications, and the consequences of what to do if it ends up disastrous.

For example, in some states, revenge porn is an issue. This happens when a couple who makes a sex tape, splits up, and the sex tape is used publicly as revenge by the spurned partner, according to Masini. This has happened enough to inspire legislation and criminal laws, especially in California.

“It’s easy to get into things in the excitement of the moment, and then have a real issue in the relationship because it wasn’t thought through,” according to Harris.

If we’re curious as to how we look like in bed, Walfish suggests an alternative to the sex tape. She believes this method doesn’t take away the imagination aspect of sex, since it’s a huge part of sexual arousal.

“If you’re curious, it’s better to have your mate describe what you look like.”

However, for couples who are willing to push the envelope and invite a new pair of eyes into the bedroom — enjoy it. The important thing is to communicate and discuss why you are interested in filming yourself, along with any concerns. Don’t be afraid to discuss deal breakers when it comes to how the footage is handled.

“Most importantly,” Masini says, “if you are going to do it, enjoy it. If nothing else you will have a good laugh when it is all over and feel more connected to your significant other.”

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11 Sex Tips for the Newlyweds

by zfortadminin Sex

10. Go Beyond the Bedroom

Pump up the passion under the covers by doing other fun things together. “Part of what bonds people and creates sexual energy is that sense of play and newness,” says Zoldbrod. In fact, research shows that novelty stimulates the transmission of a brain chemical called dopamine, which is important for arousal and excitement, adds Kerner. Sure, you can get that feeling of novelty by trying out new positions in the bedroom, but you can also get it from watching an athletic event together, going to a play, traveling to a destination that you both decide on, spending time with friends or anything else in which the two of you share a new experience.

11. Be High Maintenance

“It’s far easier—and more enjoyable—to keep a love life working than it is to try and fix it after it’s broken,” says Macleod, who stresses the importance and effectiveness of “maintenance sex” in long-term marriages. This is a tried-and-true way to deal with disparate sex drives and differing levels of sexual interest that occur naturally at different times, say, if one of you is feeling preoccupied by problems at work. “The less interested partner may simply agree to have sex, just to keep things going,” says Macleod. If performed with affection and received with respect and love, this kind of sex can help maintain your sexual and emotional bonds, which strengthens your marriage as a whole. Adds Macleod: “Sexual intimacy is one of the primary things that distinguishes your married relationship from all your other relationships and it deserves the attention of both partners to be sure that it stays well maintained.”

How Real Couples Keep the Sizzle

“We have a rule that we only use our bedroom for sex and sleep, and we stick with it by banning anything electronic like TVs, computers and cell phones. Without these distractions we find more romantic things to do.”
—Neil, Los Angeles, CA

“We actually schedule times to make love. It sounds very unsexy, but if we don’t ‘pencil it in,’ it just doesn’t happen. Sometimes we simply cuddle or talk instead of having sex, but just making that time together keeps us connected and feeling good about our relationship.”
—Judy, NY, NY

“Shortly after we were married, we both started to let ourselves go, and coincidentally our sex life went downhill, too. We decided to change that by making an effort to look attractive for one another. It may sound trivial, but it’s really helped life inside the bedroom.”
—Meredith, Warren, NJ

“I initiate sex more often. When we were dating, I worried about feeling rejected if he wasn’t in the mood. But the feeling of commitment that comes with being married has changed all that. When he’s not in the mood, it’s okay—he’s still my husband. But more often than not he’s turned on that I’m taking the lead.”
—Melissa, Flushing, NY

How do you add spice to your sex life?

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Keep Your Vagina Healthy and Happy

by zfortadminin Sex

4. Ditch Toxic Bath Products

Use only organic products in your bath. Make sure the soap and bathing products you use do not contain ingredients that could be harmful to the delicate tissue and lining in your vagina.

When you sit in the tub, anything that is in the water ends up in your vagina. Toxic chemicals in your bath can dramatically affect your vagina PH which leads to a variety of unpleasant issues.

5. Use Natural Products

In the same vein, wash your underwear with natural detergent. An itchy vagina could be caused by the ingredients in your laundry detergent. Get rid of the toxic ingredients and the itchiness too.

Also, without fail — use an organic sexual lubricant!

I can’t stress this enough! Your vagina has NO filter and so many of the lubricants on the market today contain toxic ingredients such as: parabens, propylene glycol, artificial sweeteners, glycerin and more — which can cause issues with reproduction, the PH balance of your vagina, and lead to a myriad of disease, including cancer.

Sex Butter is an organic sexual lubricant that lubricates and enhances sexual desire while maintaining a healthy PH balance. The ingredients are plant-based (no petroleum oils) which are healthy for your most delicate parts, inside and out.

6. Clean Out the Toy Chest

Sex toys are NOT regulated. If you are using or have any sex toys that are porous, made of PVC, contain Phthalates, are jelly in texture, and/or smell like chemicals beware that they are harmful to your body.

Get rid of them immediately. They contain toxins and chemicals that are highly harmful to your vagina and are known to cause infection and serious disease.

If you haven’t considered your vagina’s health, in a long time … NOW is a great time to start.

The sooner you start caring for your vagina the better the odds you’ll have a happy and healthy vagina. With women living longer lives, issues not recognized by women in past generations are now extremely relevant and important today.

Your vagina’s health is one of them!

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Female Orgasm Myths, Debunked

by zfortadminin Sex

Jenny Block just busted a few myths about female orgasms.

Block, sex expert and author of the new book O Wow, sat down with HuffPost Live’s Caroline Modarressy-Tehrani on Oct. 28 to discuss how women can achieve more orgasms and to debunk a few age-old myths about climaxing.

“For a [straight] woman needing clitoral stimulation, preferably external clitoral stimulation, if you’re just doing a little bit of the old in and out you’re probably no where near the clit,” Block said.

Sex that is designed to put sperm inside of the woman’s body is not necessarily designed for a woman to have an orgasm, and yet we keep having that sex.”

The number one myth Block said she’d like to dispel about the female orgasm is that most women climax without clitoral stimulation. “If you really want a full on hard-core orgasm there needs to be external clitoral stimulation,” she said. “That’s all there is to it.”

Block later added that, contrary to popular opinion, safe sex doesn’t ruin sex: “Enthusiastically-consented safe sex is the most fun because you don’t have to worry about anything.”

Sounds good to us.

Curated by Timothy
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When Did Sexy Become Being Naked?

by MONROKin Sex

I have lived in Los Angeles for 10 years. Each year, I see more and more clothes come off. This year, the latest look is walking around in shorts with both bottom cheeks hanging out and a crop top or bra. I have seen women of all shapes and sizes in this ensemble in Whole Foods, at the dentist, and out to dinner.

Now I am by no means a conservative. I’m a registered Democrat and I’m voting for Bernie Sanders. I am a girl who had fun in college. I passed out from being drunk, hooked up with guys so they would assemble furniture for me the next day, I have had a one night stand, ONE. I am by no means a prude.

What happened to just BEING sexy? Sexy used to be a thing you WERE. It used to be the way you fluttered your eyes, or the way you walked, or the energy you had. When did being sexy become being naked? There are other ways to lead with your sexuality besides baring your goods, and benefits.

Let me describe to you what I consider the best feeling in the world. The best feeling in the world is when a man, who really has no idea what your body looks like, sees it for the first time. Now, this only happens when there has been a build up. You meet, you go on a few dates, or maybe he’s a friend that you have decided to be intimate with. That moment, when he takes off your (chemise or fitted sweater, :P) and sees you in the nude for the first time is one hell of a confidence boost. Trust me, it is SO MUCH BETTER than him finding out as you walk down the street.

We say we should be able to walk around however we choose and feel safe, sure every woman is entitled to safety, but respect is EARNED. We, as women, are the gatekeepers of sexuality. The right to our bodies should be earned and not put out on display as if for sale. Dressing a little more modestly shows that you have respect for yourself, and your body.

If you are feeling sick reading this and NO ONE IS TELLING YOU HOW TO BE SEXY, just hear me out. These looks have worked for me and make me feel both confident and desirable.

Skinny leggings/jeans and a loose top.

In this look we are featuring our legs, so if you have long, sexy legs, work them. This look is great with ballet flats or even a mid level heel if you want to dress it up a bit.

The shape of your bosom should just be slightly discernable.

A tube style dress that is longer in length.

This look is great for showcasing your upper body, neck, and collarbone (which can be very sexy) The dress falling at or just above the knees is a really flattering length.

A fitted, long sleeved dress.

I adore this look. Your entire upper body is covered but your silhouette is perfectly framed. The length can vary, go ahead and show off those legs again if you like.

The key is to leave at least one body part to the imagination. And when that moment comes, when you are unveiled for the first time, you won’t regret it. BEST. FEELING. EVER.

How do you dress SEXY?

8 Lovemaking Techniques to Create a Deeper Connection With Your Partner

by zfortadminin Sex

Here’s how to improve your connection with your partner.

Mindfulness is being in the present moment with total awareness. But the one area where we can be the least present is in our relationships, and that includes our most intimate ones.

Mindful love-making is a whole new approach to being intimate with awareness, which means having sex not only for the sheer pleasure of it, but with our mind, body, and spirit combined, and as thoughtfully engaged as possible. Loving your partner mindfully will enhance the quality of your sex, and increase the closeness you experience together significantly. Not only will it become the type of love-making you crave, but it will be the only type of love-making you desire to give your partner.

Here are several ways to connect with your partner mindfully, and be as fully present as you can in the bedroom:

The best lovemaking is when two people are 100 percent present with each other, which means they are completely aware and sensitive of one another’s needs.

A good way to make that happen is to set aside a special time for you and your partner to have sex. That way, you know that you’re bringing your complete attention to them, and that they are getting all of you in the experience, which is a turn-on.

Mindful lovemaking can happen when both people are fully present without distraction.

Put your gadgets away. That means no phones nearby, or anything electronic that could go off and distract you. Being fully present with your partner means that you need nothing other than them to satisfy you.

Making love mindfully means being fully attuned to someone else’s body and needs.

Communicate to your partner either verbally or through touch how much you want to satisfy them. Giving them all of your attention increases stimulation and satisfaction.

Think of what would make your partner happy or satisfy them.

Showing your partner that you’ve taken the time to figure out what would excite them sexually lets them know that you care about them, and that they are very important to you.

Try surprising your partner by doing something you know they would love.

Have a bath ready with candles around it, or cover the bed with rose petals.  Have their favorite music playing, or aromatherapy oil wafting from a diffuser. Think of creative ways to set the mood for optimum lovemaking.

Ask your partner if they would like to be massaged before you hurry into lovemaking.

Make sure not to rush, and to take it slow. By being fully in the present, your senses are much more alive, which makes everything you’re touching and everything you’re feeling much more enhanced.

Make sure to put your partner’s pleasure before your own.

Show them how much you want to please them, and let them know how much you love being with them intimately. Make them feel that they are the most desirable person in the world to you. Your passion for them ignites their own even more.

After lovemaking, hold your partner.

Allow yourself to fall asleep in each other’s arms.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Shocking Facts: What Women Really Desire From Their Lover

by zfortadminin Sex

WOMEN have opened up about the strange traits they actually look for in men.

Man-measuring-penis-472968

SIZE MATTERS: Women actually want men with smaller penises

Put down the dumbbells and grab yourself another biscuit, because women don’t want tall, handsome, ripped guys (apparently).

From men with beer bellies to guy’s that are lacking in the height department, what women really look for in prospective lovers will shock you.

The Thought Catalogue spoke to several ladies about the things they find attractive in the opposite sex and here are some of their stranger preferences…..

FAT MAN WITH HAIRY CHEST

 

SEXY: Ladies also revealed that they like unfit and hairy men

“Out of shape – I don’t like when a guy is too fit,” admitted 30-year-old Mel.While Tierra, 28, says she

doesn’t like tall men. In fact, she wants someone smaller than her.

“I don’t like when a guy is too fit”

Mel

“I actually like guys my height or shorter. So many people are shocked by that, but for some reason I really like the way it feels,” she said.

“Guys who feel ‘compact’ if that makes any sense. I’ve always liked the slightly muscular, shorter guy look. For the record I’m 5ft 7.”

Hanna admitted a rather weird and specific preference in a future lover.

“It’ll probably never happen, but I have a SERIOUS fetish for guys with snakebite piercings,” she said.

COUPLE HAVING SEX

 

INTIMATE: Another woman says she only likes sharing a bed for sex

While 23-year-old Bella likes to cuddle-up with skinny guys.”I love really f****** bony guys. Collarbones, ribs, hipbones, all of it. I want to feel like I’m cuddling with a skeleton. Lol… seriously,” said Nicole, 28.”I love guys with lots and lots of chest hair. If I can seriously braid that s***, sign me up,”

Other positive traits included NOT being creative or romantic and having a small penis – really.”I like guys who are not creative at all. Like, they can be creative thinkers, but I don’t like when they are ‘creatives’ who practice art/writing/music/etc,” said Jamie.”I generally don’t like creative male personalities, and since I’m a creative professional, I don’t want to feel any competition.”Lindsay added “It’s always weird to me when women talk about wanting a guy who plans things/surprises/etc.”For me, I love having control over the social element of my relationship and I don’t like surprises. If I can plan every dinner and holiday, that’s awesome. I don’t like guys who get slick with celebrations. Also, I want to pick the restaurant.”

And one woman even said she’s not into sharing a bed with her spouse “except for sex”.”I don’t like the feeling of someone next to me all the time, and I also need my personal space,” said Alice. “So far, I’ve only had one serious relationship where the guy was okay with that, and we dated for three years.”When we broke up, I was like ‘oh s***, now I have to find another guy who’s happy with paying for a second bedroom’,” she said.A recent study also revealed that women are less likely to cheat on men with small penises.Yes, that’s right – the LARGER your schlong, the more likely your partner will be dissatisfied in the bedroom.

Who knew being fatter, shorter and lacking in the trouser department was a good thing!

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

How Giving Hugs Can Lower Blood Pressure

by zfortadminin Sex

A mere hug from a friend or a loved one has the power to uplift your mood, when feeling down.

Additionally, hugging your loved ones on happy occasions doubles the joy and instils a feeling of confidence to conquer the world. It is a sign of showcasing love and affection that not only provides emotional support but also renders numerous health benefits. Here are top 7 reasons why you need to hug your loved ones more often.

Combats common cold and flu

According to a study conducted by Carnegie Mellon University, hugging (especially when you are stressed out) aids in relieving common cold and flu. It showed that hugging was effective in protecting people from stress-induced susceptibility to infection such as viral infection. This is why, a hug a day to your loved ones is recommended to keep stress-related infections and common cold at bay.

Strengthens the immune system

When you hug someone, you exert pressure on the sternum (breastbone) and an emotional charge is created. This activated the solar plexus chakras which in turn stimulates the thymus gland. This gland regulates the production of WBCs (white blood cells) in the body, thereby, keeping you healthy.

Acts as a natural stress reliever

A research published in the journal Psychological Science claims that being hugged by a trusted person may act as an effective means of conveying support. Apart from this, increasing the frequency of hugs might be an effective means of reducing the deleterious effects of stress. So the next time you see your loved ones stressed out, hug them!

Lowers blood pressure levels

When you hug or kiss anyone close to you, the levels of oxytocin, a hormone, goes up. This hormone plays a key role in the reduction of cortisol in the body, thereby, lowering blood pressure levels. In addition to this, when someone hugs, Pacinian corpuscles, a type of pressure receptor present on the skin, are activated. It sends signals to the brain nerve that lowers blood pressure.

Burns calories

You may not believe that hugging your loved ones burns around 12 calories. This means that every time you hug someone, you burn calories, thereby maintaining your weight.

Relaxes muscle tension

A hug can release tension in the body by combating pain and improving your blood circulation. It also aids promotes blood flow in the soft tissues, thereby aiding in relaxing tensed muscles. So, apart from relieving mental stress, a hug can work wonders on your physical health and muscle activity.

Promotes brain health and memory

A hormone named oxytocin is released into the blood stream when you hug a close friend or loved ones.  This improves memory power along with reducing tension. Apart from this, it also stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system thereby helping you to strike a balance between activeness and calmness.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Are You Dissatisfied With Sex? That’s Good!

by Gina Cloudin Sex

Think about what sex is and why we are so compelled to think about it constantly (and yes, men, we do think about it that much!)  And think about the part of sex that everyone is obsessed with: orgasm.  An orgasm is like the transporter in Star Trek.  It’s a “beam me up Scotty” experience when the energies between two people are in sync.  That in sync quality has to do with the energy systems in our bodies and how they come together when our genitals come together.  Sexuality is meant to be a bridge to higher levels of consciousness.  Yes, I do believe and have experienced this.  It is a way to know whatever God you believe in.  I personally believe that the lack of this experience is why we have the obsession  with “lots of sex.”  It’s quality, not quantity.  The difference between junk food and the kind that nourishes your body.  The junk food tastes good but doesn’t really nourish, and yet it becomes addictive so you keep going for it, but it will never supply what you long for and need.    And women are feeling this in their souls now, as their bodies say no to what’s on the menu now.

Ladies, TRUST YOUR BODIES.  They are portals for a kind of wisdom that is all but lost in this modern world.  If your sexuality is turned down or turned off, spend time within your psyche and your emotional life to find out what is scaring you.  My experience in working with women has taught me that fear is the largest factor; fear of opening into an intimate place (or one that is supposed to be) and feeling used, not seen, not felt by your partner, and fear of not wanting to engage in the sexual violence that has become part of mainstream consensual sex.  The bottom line is that many women do not feel safe with their current or potential sexual partners.  They do not feel these men are trustable, and that is an important feeling for you to respect.  Don’t talk yourself out of not having sex by telling yourself (or listening to someone else tell you) that you’re sexually dysfunctional.  TRUST WHAT YOU FEEL.

Your sexuality is a frequency and it is powerful.  A woman who is aligned with the depth and breadth of what she carries between her legs and the energy inside her is aligned with her TRUE sexuality.  A woman aligned with her true sexuality will be able to say no from a healthy place, and yes from a knowing that when she chooses a man, he will be capable of riding that frequency with her.  I know personally that there are not a lot of men who can actually handle that kind of connection.  There’s a lot of fear for men as well around true intimacy.  Fucking isn’t intimacy.  But f.u.c.k.ing is.  For those of you unfamiliar with my redefinition of that word, it stands for f.ree u.nrestrained c.onnection to k.undalini.  Kundalini is  the spiritual energy that lies coiled at the base of the spine like a snake and can be awakened through yoga and meditation, but also through sexual energy.

There are energy channels all throughout our bodies.  There are meridians and chakras which are wheels of energy found in different places in our physiology.  The chakras have actually been scientifically measured as energy centers, for those of you who think this is new age  BS.  Ladies, remember this as well, we take a man into our physical bodies.  Literally.  There is a deep vulnerability in that.  Shouldn’t you think carefully about the quality of the man you say yes to, and who you allow to pass through this very sacred portal?  Life moves in and out of us vaginally, whether we are giving birth, menstruating or having sex.  I wonder how many of you have stopped to consider this idea, and in considering it now, does it hit you viscerally?  I hope so. And  men, please ponder that for a long moment.

For you guys reading this, a few words for you.  Based on the coaching work I’ve done with men, which has all been around sexuality, I’ve learned that you, too, long for intimacy, even when you can’t and won’t say it.  I’ve often said that when you look at a woman and feel like you want her sexually, that’s just conditioning.  Societally and biologically in part, you’re pushed in the direction of that singular sexual drive, as you’re taught that is one way you prove you’re a man, but when you REALLY feel satisfied with a woman, it’s not from the actual sex or the orgasm, it’s from her WANTING YOU AND OPENING TO YOU.  When that happens, you are fed in places beyond your biology.  I know this from these men and from the men in my own life that I’ve had intimate relationships with.  But men and women are afraid of this deeper energy, of these polarities and frequencies that open you up.  When men and women have orgasms from this kind of connection, it brings about healing and realignment in your physical body.  Sex heals.  Marvin Gaye had it right…

So ladies, that feeling of dissatisfaction that so many of you are experiencing around your sexuality is a messenger.  It’s an awakening for you to trust that and to allow your true, deep, intense sexual energy to surface so that you can find men who are seeking to be blessed by this energy with you.  And in the meantime, as you cultivate a relationship with your own sexuality from this authentic place, you gift yourself with this powerful energy which can be used in your daily life, especially as a force for creating that which you desire.  Know that you are not damaged or broken or dysfunctional.  It’s time to trust your inner guidance to lead you to that awakening and the sexual healing inherent in embracing your own powerful sexual energy.

 

With love and gratitude,

Gina

Pages: 1 2

Top 10 Reasons to Kiss

by zfortadminin Sex

…there are actual Kiss Scientists who study kissing.

I’ll admit it, I have a beautiful professionally framed copy of “The Kiss” by Gustav Klimt hanging in my home. I was fortunate to travel a lot while growing up, and I spent a lot of time in museums. For some reason, I became fascinated with seeing paintings of people kissing.

Was it something that people did everywhere?

I began to notice how open to PDA people were country to country in their kissing. I couldn’t stop watching.

By junior high, I remember asking my friends how often they saw their parents kissing and was surprised many said never. See, I loved seeing my parents kiss each other: It made them seem more real to me. I didn’t realize at the time, but there are actual Kiss Scientists who study kissing. They are called Philematologists and they have discovered a wide range of benefits of kissing such as:

1. Kissing lowers stress.

It decreases the stress hormone cortisol and increases serotonin levels in the brain. Kissing has also been measured to lower anxiety and has similar benefits to meditation.

2. Kissing makes us happier.

It improves our mood by increasing endorphins, which are our feel-good hormones.

“Happiness is like a kiss – it feels best when you give it to someone else.” ~ Author Unknown

3. Kissing keeps us healthy.

It improves our immunity by releasing antibodies that kill bacteria. And kissing helps us prevent cavities by increasing saliva that washes our teeth. It has also been shown that our saliva secretes natural antibiotics when we kiss.

“Never a lip is curved with pain?That can’t be kissed into smile again.”? ~ Brete Harte

4. Kissing calms us down and promotes pleasure.

It increases levels of oxytocin otherwise known as the “love hormone” which calms us. Kissing also reduces pain through our saliva which contains a kind of anesthetic and increases pleasure by releasing dopamine.

“Your hugs and kisses are like the stars that light up my life when things get dark.” – Author Unknown

5. Kissing strengthens our relationships.

It promotes togetherness and couples who kiss regularly live five years longer than those who don’t.

“A kiss seals two souls for a moment in time.” ~ Levende Waters

Top 10 Reasons To Kiss List:

  • Lowers blood pressure
  • Decreases cortisol stress hormone
  • Increases serotonin
  • Reduces pain
  • Increases oxytocin
  • Improves immunity
  • Fights off cavities
  • Increases dopamine
  • Improves mood
  • Lowers anxiety

There are plenty more benefits to kissing…but I am guessing that you already have your favorite reasons.  What’s my favorite kissing moment, you ask? When you can feel your partner smiling as you kiss each other. Kissing makes us smile more!

Curated by Erbe
Original Article