Sex Archives - Page 11 of 29 - Love TV

Category: Sex

12 Facts Most Doctors Don’t Tell You About Sexual Health

by zfortadminin Sex

11. Cancer survivors may need help salvaging their sex lives.

It’s the exceptional oncologist who gives you real solutions to deal with the physical AND emotional aftermath of chemotherapy, radiation, and early menopause. Self-esteem may be shaky, and reclaiming one’s body after trauma is a simultaneously emotional and physical journey.

On a physiological level, I’ll start by saying that it is safe to use vaginal estrogen even if you’ve had cancer; that said, some are uncomfortable using hormonal solutions for these changes in sex drive. In this case, there are equally good non-hormonal solutions available, so ask your doctor.

12. That funky smell coming from your vagina may just be a pH balance.

A number of triggers, including menstruation, intercourse or medications, can upset the vaginal ecosystem and elevate pH, causing an odor, an increase or change in vaginal discharge, or a bacterial infection. An effective remedy to these triggers is an over-the-counter vaginal pH-balancing gel (I recommend RepHresh) which can help you maintain a healthy vaginal pH for three days and can eliminate feminine odor.

Of course, there are toys, lubes, and devices that can take things to a whole new level, but it isn’t just about making sex pleasurable, it’s about how to make it possible. Every woman, regardless of age, should be able to enjoy fulfilling, exciting sex and overcome pain, lack of desire and lack of lubrication as a result her body’s unique challenges.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

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Tantra: Much More Than Crazy Sex Positions

by zfortadminin Mind, Sex

Waking Up

Tantra is really about waking up to who or what we really are. Can you say the leaf is separate from the tree? Yes and no. Is the leaf a leaf without the tree? What is the tree? What is the leaf?

Where do we come from? How did we get here? Where do we go after it’s all said and done? Tantra doesn’t claim to have the answers to these questions. As Swami Prem Pranama says:
“Tantra takes the jump into crazy wisdom by eliminating even God from the equation, leaving only the mystery with no ultimate attempt to define it… With Tantra you are not getting somewhere; you are just waking up to the true nature of things as they are. The colors inherent in clear light [as when reflecting it through a prism] are not other than the light.”

Tantra is about sexuality and spirituality, the relationship between the two, how they dance within us, how they can be seen and experienced outside of us, in the material world. We are sexual beings and spiritual beings. They go together.

If all of life manifests from a “primordial goop” or primary energy, then there is a place in us that is connected to all of life, a part of us that is a part of everything. How does this shift our consciousness, our perception, how we are in the world? This is spiritual realization in Tantra.

I’ve focused on sexuality in this article, on Shakti, orgasm, pleasure because there is an emphasis on sex with Tantra in the West, as if that is what Tantra is. Tantra isn’t just about sex. And sex isn’t just about sex. Sex is about life. Tantra brings these two separate-seeming notions together in the form of Shakti — which I appreciate.

The spiritual side of Tantra is the wonder and mystery of it all. For me, having the experiences I had (and still have) around sexuality have opened me up to life in a way that leaves me humbled and mystified.

Yes, Tantra does provide a framework to understand things like orgasm without stimulation, but even without understanding the tenets of Tantra, sexuality can open up to intensely spiritual dimensions — it did for me.

So, more than being about Tantra, this article is about sexuality. I wanted to reframe sexuality, dissociating it from the way it is popularly conceptualized — as a simply physical, pleasure-driven act — towards a stance where it is more about connecting with life itself. Tantra was just the way in for me to say this.

Part of me is averse to Tantra because of how much it is solely focused on sex and orgasm; people get drawn to its glamour and miss its essence, its spirit. But more and more I’m realizing that the path I’m walking is the path of a Tantrica.

This quote by the aforementioned Tantric master brings home elements in this article that I hoped to convey. But it also brings me home; it brings me to my path, to my deepest truth, to the knowing that resides in me. I must be a Tantrica at heart. I’ll leave you with it:

“As Tantric practice takes root in our culture it is important that there be an understanding of the vastness of possibilities that Tantra offers. Waking up into the bliss-mad realm of the perfect union of perception and pure pleasure is really quite something. It is better than what people are dreaming up in the sex workshops. For one who is awake, the relationship to the world, to the elements, is completely different than for anybody else. We have to be able to move into the really magical and wondrous forms of transformational practice where you are working not only with your own body/mind at its most subtle levels, but the elements themselves. That level of awakening needs to be realized. Its power needs to be applied to the culture and the actual ground upon which we live. To work at these levels — the beginning levels and the most advanced levels, which bring radical awakening or enlightenment — to work with all of these is the real gift that Tantra brings. The gift is that we can encompass the whole of our lives, from the ordinary to the most wondrous, in a single path.”

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

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12 SEX Tales in the Digital Age

by zfortadminin Sex

When Sex Toys Attack

My introduction to sex toys was not a gentle one. It was more the getting-thrown-into-the-deep-end-of-the-pool-by-your-overcompensatingly-masculine-dad-at-2-because–“FLOATIES ARE FOR PUSSIES. NO SON OF MINE IS GONNA SWIM WITH ARM BALLOONS” of sex-toy initiations.

I was 30 and had just moved to Europe. She was cute, quirky, and way into peacoats and berets. Our relationship was all very adorable and Wes Andersony. I imagined our first night together playfully doing stuff to one another accompanied by ’60s French pop on scratchy vinyl in an apartment lit by Christmas lights. No. Nope.

I had cruised through the makeout session and was in familiar foreplay territory with a patient but eager eye cast toward impending sexin’ when, “Holy shit, that’s a huge, green dildo, aaaand a bunch of other stuff, and GOOD GOD WHERE THE FUCK DID THIS COME FROM!?” Internal dialog, of course. I was trying to play it cool, but Jesus Christ, she was like David Copperfield when he made the Statue of Liberty disappear and reappear, except the lady version that used the power of misdirection (boobs) to transform a once roomy bed into an assemblage of things that looked either vaguely or explicitly like sex parts. H. R. Giger would’ve nodded approvingly at some of this stuff. I wanted to politely excuse myself and soft shoe into the nearest passenger plane jet intake.

I didn’t know where to start. I gingerly picked up Hulk Smash Dildo and instadropped it due to its unexpected flubbery texture. My previously enthusiastic penis was all, “Hey guy, Imma let you figure this one out on your lonesome. Bye.” What a shitty friend.

I was intimidated. I tried to use a thing in a way I figured was in the ballpark of its function and was immediately and mercifully stopped. We made eye contact. I whimpered. Rather than elbow-drop my ego, she suggested we rewind and discuss. This was necessary. I had questions.

“Does this stuff make my penis numb?”

“Is that a bunny?”

“This looks like Max from Flight of the Navigator.”

“Is that for butts?”

“Should I put this on your butt?”

“Does the Koosh Ball side go in your vagina?”

“Can this not be for my butt?”

She was patient and assuaged most of my fears. On-the-job training is really the best way to improve at most things, and I was fortunate enough to have her enthusiastic help, which informed even better experiences with my future partners.

Most, anyway. The time a neon-­purple double dong was suggestively waggled at me was pretty disturbing, but they can’t all be home-run experiences. Ha. Heh. Sex. Jesus.
—­DUSTIN HUCKS

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How to Spice Up Your SEX Life

by zfortadminin Sex

4. Do more exciting things. Sometimes the real reason passion diminishes in a relationship is because one or both partners would rather be doing something else in bed. For example, maybe you wish your boyfriend spent more time kissing your breasts or giving you foreplay; maybe he wishes you would initiate sex more or give him more oral sex. Maybe neither of you wants to admit that the stuff you have been doing isn’t as thrilling as you need it to be because you’re afraid of hurting the other’s feelings. Put your cards on the table and let him know if there’s something more or different he could do to enhance your pleasure. Repressing your needs will only leave you frustrated.

5. Let your imagination run wild! As I see it, what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedroom is nobody’s business but their own. If you agree, then it’s time to put that theory into practice. Sex doesn’t have to be what other people have told you it should be. You’re a 21st century woman. You know you can have all the orgasms you want and still be a nice girl. So what’s holding you back from releasing your inner sex goddess? Try switching roles with him—if he usually initiates, try taking the lead for a night. If he’s usually on top, you get on top instead. Are you curious about a sex toy or an adult video you read about? You can shop for it together or surprise him with a naughty gift. If you’ve ever fantasized about being an actress, a rock star, a model—or maybe you’re more the Amazon-vampire-jungle queen type? Why not act out your fantasies and explore role play? Sex doesn’t always have to be serious. If you can laugh and play with your boyfriend, sex will never get dull for you again.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

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7 Tips to Be the Best Lover He’s Ever Had

by zfortadminin Sex

5. Surprise him when he least expects it. There’s nothing worse than monotony in bed. That’s why you should have sex Outside of the bedroom, as often as possible. Make it memorable. Give him head in the car. Wake him up with a blow job. Have sex in a public toilet, or in his office. When he comes home, “attack” him the moment he comes in the house. Kill the routine. There’s nothing nicer than being wanted. Be sexy for him and initiate things. You should never be asked to go down on him, instead do it yourself and do it for your own pleasure, not his.

6. Work out regularly. Yes, you should take care of your looks as much as possible. Work out regularly, smell good and be as tight as possible. If you are light and easy for him to carry around in bed your sex life will be much more satisfying. This is the cold hard truth. And don’t do this because of him, do it because of yourself. You’ll feel a lot sexier in your own body and you’ll be more self confident.

If you feel sexier in your body you’ll attract him 10 times more sexually. Be fit, eat good food and take care of yourself. Silky, soft skin and a tight body, where you smell amazing will make every guy go mental just when he looks at you. Make this a lifestyle decision (staying fit) and do it together with him. You’ll see how this can transform your sex life completely and you’ll please him much more like this.

7. Role play. Role playing can be great and it will make your sex life a lot more fun. You should role play all the time, but do it sometimes to spice things up. Role playing is great as it gives you freedom to experiment and be somebody else, discover each others fantasies and fulfill them at least in an imaginary way. It’s better if he does it with you, than with somebody else:) Except if his fantasy is having you and your best girlfriend together in a threesome. Well – a girlfriend that really loves him would even do that just to satisfy him.

The good thing is that you already have the right mindset for being a “perfect girlfriend” (or wife) and that’s your willingness to satisfy him. That’s a great quality and it will get you far, as everything you give, comes back, eventually. So give, give and give some more and you’ll see your relationship transform (and your sex life). Start applying some of these essential tips and you’ll go far. Most importantly: have fun!

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

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Pros-Cons: Is Having Sex With Your Roommate Okay?

by zfortadminin Sex

One word. Don’t. Don’t even think of it. Do yourself a favor.

Sex with your housemate alters the comfortable, familiar, even familial relationship you had before. Really. Sex is like that. There is a reason it is called making love. In reality, there are only two long-term scenarios going forward. One— you live happily ever after as a couple that might as well be married. Two—one of you loses your home.

The first scenario does happen. The second is much more common. Yahoo! Answers are full of young women agonizing about how to handle her feelings for the guy after a night…well, you know… They were watching a movie and he starts massaging and well, you know, one thing lead to another. Or they became very close when they both had relationships break up and, well, you know.. . Or they went out drinking, and, well, you know… Its easy to get caught up in the passion of the moment and to tell yourself, “its just sex.” Better to be wise, put on the brakes and ask yourself, “Is this worth it?”

The problem for housemates who have sex is that the relationship changes. Having carnal knowledge of each other, they are no longer just housemates. They might become a couple. They might even be a happy couple, for how long? How do they manage it if one person wants to break up? You see? Someone moves out.. But probably not before pain and hurt.

More common is that the relationship between the two who slept together goes wonky pretty quickly. One person’s fling is another person’s crush. Emotions are stirred, expectations created, the relationship is no longer easy and comfortable.

There is a loss of independence and privacy. What happens when one makes plans that doesn’t include the other? When you are upset and angry because you are hurt and you encounter each other in the kitchen? What happens when one goes out on a date? Or worse, brings home a different partner? In other words, someone – maybe both people – get hurt. Eventually, one of the housemates moves out but probably not without some stormy and painful experiences.

So if you want to keep your home a comfortable place to be, do not get sexually involved with a housemate.

For housemates to live together comfortably, it is good to impose a complete and utter taboo on sex with each other. I call it The Incest Taboo and it is my fourth principle for living with housemates successfully.

Yes, of course, there are exceptions to this rule. It might happen that two people who get to know each other in the daily rhythms of life find themselves falling in love. I heartily suggest a long conversation about what this means to you and how you will manage it before falling into bed. And if you can’t have a heart-to-heart real conversation about life and love, then you don’t have the communication to manage the changed relationship. If you are going to have a love affair, one of you should move out first, then see if the relationship works. I heard of a couple that did this. They met in a group home and started really liking each other. She moved out so that they could date. They are married now.

Do yourself a favor, have an incest taboo. With a firm taboo in place, a housemate relationship can be wonderful—kind of like having a brother or a sister.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Can Sexual Fantasy Boost Your Sex Life Naturally?

by zfortadminin Sex

Fantasy as therapy

Many sex therapists encourage patients to develop an active fantasy life to help overcome sexual problems. Within a therapeutic context, people have been able to use fantasy to confront the fearful stages of intimacy and lovemaking and reduce or eliminate their fears. Sexual fantasies can provide an opportunity to deepen both physical and emotional intimacy with your partner, as it creates a living metaphor to learn more about yourself and unspoken, underlying emotional issues.

One could argue that there may have never been a better time in our culture to explore the power of fantasy. Internet access has made a remarkably wide array of resources, ideas and practices to explore sexual fantasy readily available at little to no cost. Internet fantasy chat rooms, elaborate sexual avatar games, and free exchanges of pornography have all contributed to our awareness and capacity for fantasy. Sexual parties and clubs are also common in most cities.

Word of caution

Yet, a word of caution must also be added here. There are many stories of people who unknowingly allow their fantasy life to go too far. When fantasy life crosses the line into reality, obsessive thoughts about another or an inability to focus on your life or your partner can become a real danger in your relationship. In the same way that dreams are altered when we try to describe them upon waking, carrying our fantasies into our daily lives can be disruptive and destructive in ways we can’t always anticipate.

So go ahead and flirt with your fantasies. Let your imagination lead you into a better and more fulfilling intimate life.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

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Your Vagina Is Your Oracle

by Gina Cloudin Sex

Bouquet Of Blue Flowers On Woman's Body

There is another layer of vulnerability to the vaginas of women who have been victims of sexual abuse or rape. In my work with women in this area, I see that women cope with this painful violation — which is of the soul, and not just the body — in different ways. Some avoid sex. Some indulge in lots of disconnected sex. Some eat their unprocessed feelings, and put on weight as a way of protecting themselves, with the idea that if they are overweight, they won’t become victims of sexual violation again. These are but a few shades, as each woman deals with this trauma in different ways. Even for those that go through some form of healing, their vulnerability in this area is even greater than women who have not suffered this abuse. Men need to understand this, and women need to honor this piece if it is part of their life’s truth. I don’t think that men truly understand what it means to be penetrated. To have a man enter into this vulnerable place. The only analogy I could possibly offer is for a straight man to experience anal penetration. For most straight men, it provokes vulnerability. Here we are in a society where we are barely able to look each other in the eyes, to penetrate each other in our gaze. Yet often women allow themselves to be penetrated vaginally without an awareness of the sacredness of their bodies. When was the last time you were with a man sexually and you were able to hold each other’s gaze? Do you allow him to penetrate you without being seen? The eyes are the window to your soul. If you’re unwilling to allow access to being penetrated through your eyes, how can you possibly allow vaginal penetration. It’s an act of disrespect. And men, how can you not see the woman, the human being, the soul that you desire? How can you fuck a woman without caring who she is? Women, if you value yourself more, you wouldn’t find yourself with a man who would do this to you, and if you did, you’d walk away. The more you learn to honor what you carry between your legs, the more you will understand its connection to your heart. The more you honor your heart, the more you will be unable to allow sexual penetration of this vulnerable, sacred space.

Couples who have love and trust can explore 50 shades of gray, and every other color under the sun. Sexual exploration is vital to our understanding of who we are, but for a woman, opening to allow those experiences with a man who doesn’t value her, honor her, will make her feel used, violated. Without intimacy and trust between two people, we are violating ourselves repeatedly. I believe that the kind of sexual experiences people are longing to have can only happen in a SATISFYING way if the people involved have that heart connection, that trust, that intimacy. Women, you know. And you must listen in order to take care of your own heart.

In our culture today, so many men are using women’s bodies as receptacles for their pleasure, dismissing and discarding the heart and soul of women. And many believe that women are okay with it. Many women falsely believe they have to comply with “men’s needs” in order to have a man, so they make themselves okay with it. I’m offering a different perspective. Men reading this, I ask you to dig deep within you and try to imagine the vulnerabilty of penetration for a woman, and the pain and hurt you can cause by just not giving a damn about her, using her only to get off on. Even if you think she’s okay with it, even if she says she is, many women are so wounded and blocked here, from so much pain, that they are numb. The harm you do by using a woman at any time is beyond my ability to convey to you with words. I am not asking you to read a woman’s mind. I am simply asking you to examine your motives. If you know you’re only using her for sex, perhaps you could make a different choice. You know what your intention is. Be mindful of that. Find a place inside you that honors women, our bodies, our hearts, and that vulnerable portal you are all so fond of inhabiting. It’s not yours to take ownership of or to use as you wish. Women, you MUST stop allowing this to happen. We have the power through honoring ourselves to put an end to this. We have the power to educate men with love and grace by simply standing in our own self-love and self-respect. We don’t have to make men wrong in order to change this. I also believe that when women honor men and stop vilifying them, men in turn will honor women. When we understand this simple truth, our relationship to each other will be transformed, and we will learn to truly serve each other.

With love & blessings,

Gina

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8 Organic Couples Habits In and Out of the Bedroom

by zfortadminin RELATIONSHIPS, Sex, SEX TIPS

There’s no cookie cutter formula for the perfect relationship. But research does show that a combination of both big and little things—from doing yoga together to sharing meals prepared with organic ingredients—helps maintain happier, more satisfying partnerships.

Here are the mindful habits that connected couples rely on.

Young Ethnic Couple On Kitchen Slicing Vegetables1. They Do Yoga Together
You can probably think of more romantic things than sweating it out in a vinyasa class. But making a date to do yoga or go on a hike through the forest with your partner can bring about worthwhile results in a relationship. The buddy system will not only help inspire you, but it will create a feeling of synchronicity between partners, highlighting a shared passion and common goals. Bonus: Working out together has been proven to help you burn more calories and possibly even spice things up in the bedroom.

2. They’re Open About What Goes On Between The (Bamboo) Sheets
It’s not just about the monkey business that happens in the bedroom. A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships concluded that young, monogamous couples—especially the males of these couples—reported both more sexual satisfaction and overall satisfaction with their relationship when they talked openly about bedroom preferences with their partners—right down to what kind of natural linens they like. Getting over fears or anxieties related to sexual disclosure and revealing more may lead couples to a higher level of intimacy.

3. They Stress Less
According to UC Berkeley researchers who tracked conversations between 154 married couples, those who used the words “we,” “our,” and “us” more than “I,” “me,” and “you” reported being more satisfied and showed fewer signs of stress. Strike a healthy balance between individuality and togetherness—whether that be spending an afternoon harvesting backyard tomatoes or engaging with neighbors while volunteering together at the community garden—and you’re one step closer to a strong, lasting bond.

4. They Understand The Value Of Sharing Homemade Meals At The Table
It may sound silly, but get this: A survey of newlyweds conducted by a mattress retailer found that a partner eating in bed tied with snoring as the number one pet peeve distracting couples from bedded bliss. It turns out that conflicting meal etiquette and discord over whether or not to use organic, GMO-free ingredients can lead to a crummy night’s sleep. A UC Berkeley study found that poor sleep can turn lovers into fighters. Even one rough night of sleep can have a negative impact on spouse interactions, causing more discord between couples, poorer conflict resolution, and decreased ability to gauge one another’s emotions the next day.

Mixed Ethnicity Gay Couple Kitchen5. They Give Constructive Feedback About Each Other’s Healthy Habits
Experts have theorized that, in the most contented pairs, the magic ratio may be five positive feelings, efforts, or exchanges for every one negative, such as complaints or criticisms. For example, share what organic habits you like (the new all-natural soap in the bathroom) when telling your partner that leaving the compost bin out with the lid off drives you nuts (it attracts fruit flies!). Think of the former as an antidote to the latter and make efforts to be a good listener, stay calm and non-defensive, and have empathy in times of disagreement. The power of positive thinking (and expressing) is especially potent in partnerships.

6. They Connect Over Nature
Relationship experts at The Gottman Institute (which helps couples achieve lasting, loving relationships through research) studied couples’ reactions to random small talk, like “Wow, look at the sunset.” Researchers categorize this as small but important requests for connection. They found that couples who regularly engaged each other in this kind of nature-loving small talk were the ones who ultimately stayed together.

7. They Share A Netflix Account With Animal Documentaries
You’ve heard that life imitates art, right? A study in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology—in which couples watched one movie each week for a month—documents an interesting finding. It turns out that watching films featuring an intimate relationship as the main plotline (in this case, maybe it’s the monogamous mating habits of penguins) inadvertently sensitized these couples to issues in their own partnerships and triggered the desire to work through their own problems. The films acted as gateways for couples to reflect on their own relationships in a safe, nonthreatening environment.

8. They Emphasize Digital Detox
If your faces are constantly buried in your smartphones, you may be digging your way to a problem. It may seem dramatic, but a trio of researchers at Boston University’s Department of Emerging Media Studies found evidence that frequent use of social media in the presence of your partner—which can feel antisocial—negatively impacts overall relationship happiness and quality. Another analysis even found a correlation between heavy use of Facebook among partners and spikes in divorce rates. Try leaving your digital life to your daily commute and focus on inclusive activities with your spouse—like camping together or taking evening walks around the lake.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Women Want Sex, Too

by zfortadminin Sex

Although we have come pretty far as a society in understanding that women are just as sexual as men, the cliché still exists that when it comes to desires men have more of them and more often, too.

But, of course, that’s far from true and any woman who’s embraced her sexuality can confirm that wholeheartedly. But because stereotypes surrounding women and sex still exist, Kindara, a fertility awareness app, set out to see what stereotypes could be confirmed and what could be finally thrown out.

The survey by Kindara researched the sex lives of 500 women between the ages of 18 and 65. They examined sexual desire, orgasm frequency, and just how important women feel sex is to their relationship. Overwhelmingly, although not surprisingly, Kindara found that women do put some heavy importance on sex with the majority of them wanting it more than they’re getting it. Apparently once a week just won’t cut it for the majority of ladies out there.

What the results of the survey reveal, among other things, is that women are equal to men when it comes to sexual desires and to assume otherwise is wrong. Thinking that women are somehow less interested in sex is simply a decades-old thinking that needs to cease. Here are six facts about women’s sexuality that Kindara uncovered in their survey.

1. The Majority Of Women Think Sex Is Very Important To A Relationship

According to the survey, 89.2 percent of women think that sex is “very” or “somewhat” important to their overall relationship satisfaction, which makes perfect sex. Happy relationships are the ones where sex and intimacy reign supreme.

2. Over Half Of Women Want More Sex

Although we’re supposed to believe that it’s women who are holding out in the bedroom while men want more sexy times, Kindara found out something else: It’s the ladies who want more. Of those surveyed, 53.2 percent of women want more sex than they’re currently getting from their partner. In fact, less than half, at 46.8 percent, felt satisfied in having their sexual desires fulfilled.

3. Over 60 Percent Of Women Want Sex Three To Five Times A Week

In findings that really blew archaic stereotypes out the window, 60.8 percent of women desire sex three to five times a week. But for some women even that’s not enough! According to the survey, 10.2 percent of women want sex six to eight times a week ― who has enough time in the week for such a thing?!

4. Majority Of Women Put Emotional Connection Above All Else When It Comes To Sex

We hear a lot about how women love foreplay ― and we do! ― but as Kindara found what we like even more than foreplay is having an emotional connection. Of those surveyed, 53.2 percent felt that an emotional was essential for great sex, 23.6 percent believed foreplay was a deciding factor in awesome sex, and 10.4 percent rated communication as most important.

5. Most Women Orgasm At Least Once During Sex

Although women reaching orgasm still remains a struggle for many, the good news is that the amount of women who are able to orgasm at least once during sex is at 72.6 percent. Within that range, 38.6 percent had an orgasm once, 10.2 percent had multiple orgasms, and 23.8 percent could report that they had an orgasm “often.”

6. Stress Is The One Thing That Can Mess With A Woman’s Sex Drive

For 39.2 percent of women, stress is the top factor that can negatively affect their sex life. The other top culprits that can make a woman not want to get it on are being out of sync with their partners at 28.2 percent, not being in the mood at 20.2 percent, and struggling with their self-image at 20 percent. For 18 percent of women, there are no factors, like none at all, that stand in the way of them having sex.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Slow Sex or Hot Sex: What is More Fulfilling?

by zfortadminin Sex

Slow sex or Hot sex?

Couples often tell me they like their hot sex life and wonder why my partner, Tim and I are so enchanted by slow sex. The answer is simple. We both liked our hot sex life too but we were aware – as Tim had been reading spiritual teacher Barry Long’s books like – Making Love: Sexual Love the Divine Way – that there was another kind of making love available which meant we could rise to new levels of connection with each other in a soul/spiritual way.

Over the years, we have gradually learnt to be with each other in a different way, in a more present way, in a more heart-open way, in a way where we profoundly relax into each other because orgasm is not the goal, we find that another more soulful sexual energy arises.

Sometimes, I describe our sex life before as like paddling in a stream, whereas now we are swimming freely in the wide-open ocean. It’s a time we decide to spend together consciously where we might be gazing at one another while Tim’s penis is inside me, or he might be holding my breasts, or I might be holding his penis. Or simply lying together naked gently caressing each other. This and much more is all slow sex.

There is a misnomer with regards to slow sex, it does not mean being still all the time. Slow sex refers to the idea that you become more conscious and aware of what you are doing and how you are doing it, it means to take time to become present in your own body so that you can truly be present with each other. That’s the most significant guideline and it does take time and practice.

The other day I was talking to a male friend and he said that he and his ex-partner of 8 years, never gazed at each other when they were making love. He sounded sad when he said it. Often because it requires a level of vulnerability, couples find it difficult to connect intimately while having sex. Over the years, this is what we have discovered and why we’re so keen to support other couples find this new level with each other.

However there are no rules involved. Slow sex may include a lot of movement, and it may not. It’s very much about the freedom to be real with each other and to inhabit that moment as fully as possible. And it’s not about taking hours to do it. Sometimes, we spend as little as 20 or 30 minutes connecting in this way, and it’s enough to ground us in loving relationship which helps us feel bonded with ourselves and with each other for the rest of the day.

I recommend slow sex on other levels as well. For instance, it enhances my sense of well-being, my inner peace and increases my levels of loving generosity too, which in turn affects my other relationships and interactions in the world. It also has an effect on my creativity. I have some of my best ideas while hanging out making love.

In her book Slow Sex: The Path to Fulfilling and Sustainable Sex, Diana Richardson describes slow sex as a revolutionary practice for couples to enhance sexuality and reach a higher state of consciousness. She also talks about how slow sex is a way to increase sensitivity and that is certainly what has happened to Tim and I. Sex that focuses on orgasm as a goal means you are constantly looking ahead, not really present, while slow sex enables you both to simply focus on the myriad of subtle delightful feelings all along the way.

5 Keys to Slow Sex

1) Slow sex turns sex into a conscious decision rather than an accidental encounter.

2) Focusing on eye contact, subtle sensations and deep breathing, slow sex awakens the body’s innate mechanism for ecstasy.

3) Slow sex transforms sex into a meditative, loving union of complementary equal and opposite forces and energies.

4) With the emphasis on coolness rather than heat, this practice provides couples with a way to achieve higher consciousness.

5) The practice of slow sex includes deep penetration as well as soft penetration and offers a style that can be enjoyed well into old age.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Body Paint

by zfortadminin Sex

“ Would you like to be painted by your partner as an erotic activity?”

“The precision! A pretty woman with AMAZING art! Thank the artist!”
~ Wally Abaza

body paint

“He killed that paint excellent work I’m next” =)
~ Princess Carver

Sex and Yoga Combined Equals Orgasmic Enlightenment

by zfortadminin Mind, Sex

Sex and yoga have a lot in common. They’re both about opening and stretching into new places. Going deep inside yourself to find strength and endurance you didn’t know you had. Softening and letting go to remove your civilized layers and return to yourself.

You can use each to amplify the power of the other.

I went on a remote yoga retreat with my lover last fall. It was life-changing. I was cracked open wider and wilder than I have ever been before.

The combination of having a full week devoted just to us, quantum-leaped our connection. Doing yoga together daily stretched the crusty parts of us open and dissolve. Being immersed in an off-the-grid experience (no electricity, sleeping in open-air villas) reconnected us to our natural rhythms.

Sex is part of your natural rhythm.

Like yoga, the more you commit to it, and trust it and learn to let go, it will transform you. The little parts of you that get in your way, your defenses, your ego and chatter mind, can all be dissolved through a powerful yoga session.

Or an hour of life-shifting sex.

I recommend taking a weeklong sex date several times a year to get out of your routine, and into each other. You will revitalize your selves, cells and relationship.

In between those weeks, you can maximize your time in yoga classes and during your weekly sex dates.

Here’s where sex and yoga come together:

1) What happens in bed and on the mat carries out into life. What I love about yoga, is the microcosm. I physically open, stretch and cultivate a practice of letting go. When I leave the class, I feel more open, patient and relaxed.

Sex has the same impact on me: when I am assertive and strong in bed, it strengthens my assertiveness and strength in life. The more I allow myself to receive pleasure in bed, the more open to it I am (and expect it) in my day-to-day existence.

2) Sex and yoga rebirth you. Yoga helps you to leave your ego and the constructed parts of yourself behind. The more you practice, the more you relate to the world from a natural, un-self-conscious place.

After cataclysmic sex, I stumble out of the bedroom and the world feels new. I feel new. This is one of the major reasons why I am such an advocate for the spiritual and therapeutic benefits of sex: it transforms us.

There is a good reason why we call orgasm “la petite mort.”

3) Sanctuary. We all need a place to retreat. We take off our armor, sigh, and are held. Yoga gives you a space to unwind your tension and sink deep into yourself.

Sex does this twofold: you open and sink into yourself and into another person.

4) Breath is key. In yoga, the poses are a vehicle to move the breath. Yoga is like a breath-bath. Every nook and cranny of your being gets cleansed. The breath unclogs stuck energy and gets your system flowing optimally again.

During sex, breathe as consciously and fully as you would during yoga. The breath carries potent, sexual energy (even stronger than regular “chi” or “prana”) throughout your body, rejuvenating and healing you in the process. Deeper breathing also leads to full-body orgasms, multiple orgasms and stamina-building in men.

5) Balancing out with the feminine. Yoga is fantastic for getting you into your archetypal feminine energy: learning how to flow, be receptive and surrender.

In our busy, modern lives, most of us live from our “masculine.” We do more, stay active and driven in order to achieve. We forget that learning to open, attract and receive can be as powerful for getting things done.

The art of surrender is the key to powerful sex. Both sexes can tap into the state of learning how to receive, and how to be.

6) Flexibility in mind and body. The best sex is borne out of an open, non-judgmental way of being: everything is accepted. Plus, the physical ability to hold challenging yogic postures clearly transfers into a talent for marathon sex.

It goes both ways: the ability to cultivate four-hour orgasms will strengthen your yoga practice.

7) Pelvic power. Yoga tones the pelvic floor, bringing more conscious awareness. You will improve sexual sensitivity and boost your orgasmic potential and control.

Sex and yoga help to lubricate the hips and the heart: both crucial tools for day-to-day living and loving. Use both as tools to breakthrough to a state of yo-gasmic bliss.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article