10 Ways to Keep your Self-Esteem High While You’re Dating

Sometimes dating can be a challenge. But we’ve got some simple ideas that will transform you from emotionally drained to warrior of love, guaranteed!

Dating can be really hard on the emotional self-worth even when you’re in a good, healthy place. Why? Because meeting people is freaking hard, and connecting with people? Even harder.

In the same vein, there are 5 billion reasons why a date can go poorly, just like there are 5 billion reasons why a date can go well, and yet as humans we privilege the negative…clouding our brains with why she didn’t call, what did I do wrong, am I not attractive enough, etc.

It’s not up to you to try and “solve” rejection or confusion behavior; no, it’s up to you to keep on keeping on, the gorgeous emotional warrior of love that you are. The key is keeping that self-esteem high so you can enjoy dating, and not feel bogged down by it.

You can do just that by following these 10 fun and easy ways to feel like a million bucks while you get your dating game on…and beyond! And don’t forget, we’re here to help you find love. Join LOVE TV and we’ll help make your dating life more efficient.

Keep your eye on the prize

dating self-esteem

Know what you’re looking for. Write it down. Stick to it. So if someone is being shady, flaky or confusing and is acting or communicating against your dating goals, you will have the power and the boundaries to say no to the situation. Sure, I like tomatoes, but if my goal is to make a cake I won’t make excuses for adding tomatoes to the recipe.

Dating someone who doesn’t fit your goals is exactly the same! Also, it’s easier on our brains to be like “he didn’t fit in MY plan” and let somebody go, then wonder why they didn’t want to fit into ours. You’ll be well on the way to a delicious relationship cake, my friends.

Follow the feel good.

What feels good? What feels sexy? What makes you feel happy? When you’re dating, try to pile on as many feel-good elements as possible to make the whole process fun.

Have a power song to listen to while you Tinder? Listen. Like a certain top? Wear it a bunch. Like a bar? Go there for dates. Enjoy making name puns when you put dates into your iphone? Clark-scared-of-the-dark probably doesn’t but who cares, it makes YOU laugh. Everything that makes you feel good in the process is a great thing.

Try the four-man-plan.

dating and flirting and keeping your self-esteem

I know this is tricky, but the more people in the mix the better, because the less you’ll care when someone acts poorly or against your dating goals. My pal calls this the “4 man plan,” and swears by it. You’ll be so used to juggling people- good and bad, that things won’t phase you at all. And when you’re above it, busy and enjoying yourself, you’re also at your most desirable!

Keep yourself busy.

self-esteem while dating

This is simple but an idle brain can go bad places! Keep busy in your life, in dating (see 4 man plan) and in everything you enjoy, and time will pass quickly. You won’t even notice when a guy doesn’t text you…or does.

Try using the “sexy selfie strategy.”

A picture of a sexy woman lying on sofa and taking selfie

A picture of a sexy woman lying on sofa and taking selfie

I like dressing up for dates, and I do it well. I have a ritual: after I get done up and before the date, I take a couple sexy selfies to “Formation,” and channel my inner Beyonce. Sure, it’s basic, but it makes me feel good. Whatever happens on the date- now you have a pic looking hot, confident and can channel that (or post on Insta) any time you need!

Think about memorizing some key quotes

Although they might seem cheesy, the brain LOVES succinct phrases in repetition. I love the phrase “look at him and look at YOU” as a motivator before I go out on dates, after I go out, and everything in between. Pick a couple phrases that strike you as empowering and write them in a place you can see them every day. Let that sink in…and the rest will be fabulousness.

Remind yourself: “I’m going to have fun!”

young couple having fun

Before every date- no matter how I feel- I say “I’m going to have fun” or “dating is fun” ten times, out loud. And LOUD, people. Reminding yourself that you are fun, dating is fun, and this whole wild n’ crazy experience should be fun is super, super important. No better way than out-loud repetition in that “fake it till you make it” school of thought to really drive the sentiment home!

Don’t forget to find the funny.

finding the funny in dating

Much like follow the feel good, follow the funny is something that should also get privilege. Keeping in touch with how wild and silly dating is-and having a sense of humor about it- is so incredibly important to finding humanity in others and weathering the meet-ups strung together that become our dating life. Relax! Don’t take it too seriously! It isn’t life or death, just life or vodka sodas, people.

You can even bring a friend in on the fun.

double date

This one’s my favorite. You see, if you keep your friends abreast of your dating life and cute people who might be a part of it, they’re invested. Which means you have an enthusiastic and hopefully fun sounding board for all the trials and travails of dating. Also, they probably know YOU and your preferences better than you do, which means a whole lot of opinions, levity and camaraderie.

Go work out.

Working out to build your self-esteem

Go work out. A lot. It releases serotonin and other various brain chemicals that will definitely make you feel fit, alive and relaxed. It’ll also boost your energy so you can run to more places to booze with attractive people. Seriously, it can only HELP! Now get out there and date, you beautiful people, you!

Dating can be a challenge and it can get old and tired after a while, but using some of these tips, you can persevere! And if you’re looking for experts who can help you target your search, join LOVE TV today!

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10 Ways to Keep your Self-Esteem High While You’re Dating

About The Author
- Rebecca Leib is a comedian and writer from Milwaukee, Wisconsin whose work can be seen on on NBC, Investigation Discovery, VICE/Pulse TV, Buzzfeed, Defy, Freemantle Media and read in Reductress, LAWEEKLY, LIVESTRONG.COM, ThoughtCatalog, Art Etc., Comediva, Hello Giggles, VICE Beautiful/Decay and more. She is a freelance dating coach and love advice specialist and loves writing about dating, romance, love and relationships in the modern world.